There's "not making contact," and there's "cutting off contact." I've only ever done the latter when someone's done something to hurt me, has betrayed my trust, etc. Once or twice, though, I've gotten a hard time from others about my decision to cut ties with someone. Just wondering what you think....
2007-01-17 13:23:06 · 12 answers · asked by marisalwood 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
One of the people I cut off contact with had slandered me and said she wished me harm. I got a lot of grief from a mutual acquaintance for making the decision I did.
2007-01-17 16:23:03 · update #1
You know what is the right decision for you. If others cannot accept this, it becomes their problem. Your first responsibility is to you.
2007-01-17 13:28:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I deliberately haven't read any of the other responses: well here's what I think.
You don't cut off contact with someone until you have spoken to them and cleared things up with them.
A girl I considered a 'best friend' just cut off all contact with me. I did nothing to betray her trust, I did not hurt her, nothing!! The only thing I can think of is that someone else was bitter and blamed me for something I didn't do and she believed them. I have no other possible answer for that. I've never betrayed a friend's trust or ever hurt a friend - often I get hurt as I'm easily 'walked on', but I'd never hurt a person. It's been 8 years of time I'll never get back with her!! And I have no idea what the hell happened.
Talk to this person, be open and honest and have the guts to do so!!
2007-01-17 14:52:22 · answer #2 · answered by Snoopy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You mean cutting off contact as in NEVER seeing the person again? I think people give you a hard time for doing that because they think it means you are unforgiving.
This is what I think: First I have done it. Though you FORGIVE someone (wish them well---honestly want the BEST for them) you may not be able to "get along" with that person. With some folks there is no compromising or "meeting of minds", so there will always be friction of some sort. It is best to stay away from someone if it will only aggravate a problem. You don't HAVE to force anything that bothers you, and I wouldn't allow someone to "guilt" you into forcing any friendship.
Hope I was not too wordy
2007-01-17 14:01:56 · answer #3 · answered by * 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Why concern yourself with what others think about your decision to sever ties with someone? Evidently, you had your reasons. You don't specify whether it was a family member, friend, or acquaintance.
Where family is concerned, unless the person is abusing you verbally or physically, or you have an extremely contentious relationship that is having an adverse effect on your emotional well-being, and your life, I think it is preferable to maintain at least some contact with your family member if it's your parents or siblings. You know the expression, "you can pick your friends...but you can't pick your family." That doesn't mean that you have to be in contact with them often----you have to set the boundaries for what you're comfortable with and proceed accordingly. Maybe a phone call once a week----or once a month to touch base with them. Keep it light. Don't get into anything heavy or controversial, unless you want to.
As far as friends go, if you find you no longer enjoy the company or conversation of this person, or find yourself feeling angry, or resentful more often than not, or dread talking to them or seeing them, and communication is poor and unsatisfying, then it's time to go your separate ways. If it's not copacetic, no one is benefitting from a contentious relationship.
2007-01-17 13:53:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
Absolutely do not give in to her demands. This is manipulation and in some cases might be considered a form of abuse. Report what she's doing to the police, school counselor, whatever seems appropriate before this gets any worse. Remember you're not the one responsible if she does kill herself.
2016-05-24 01:58:03 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust in a person is one of the building blocks of a friendship and or a relationship
if the trust has been broken that means (at you're discretion) it is up to you if you want to try and rebuild that relationship back up.
just in my humble opinion, if someone lies to me, it would be hard for me to truly trust them again, someone cheats on me,
instant out, no recourse, i think that you are thinking logically,
and you seem to have a lot more sense than most.
always remember that trust carries a price tag, it is what is put in it is what you can expect to be paid back.
2007-01-17 14:09:26 · answer #6 · answered by barrbou214 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're considering cutting someone off then they must have done something to offend you greatly and there must not be much love there to begin with or you would have forgiven them. There is no need to linger in a relationship, cut it off immediately.
2007-01-17 13:32:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anna Hennings 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
As long as this person is "toxic" to you, you need to cut off ties with them. Toxic meaning causing you unhappiness, stress, harm, (freeloading on you, borrowing without repaying, uncooperative, rude, disrespectful, gossipping about you, slandering you etc). Cutting off ties means no more contact whatsoever.
2007-01-17 15:04:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 2⤋
Not making contact is that you're not inititating the contact.
Cutting of contact is that when someone initiates contact with you - you stop it and don't respond - and you cut off all ties.
2007-01-17 13:26:53 · answer #9 · answered by ☼High☼Voltage☼Blonde☼ 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Some people can drain you emotionally. They Invite you into their delusion. Most hide it until you get baked. Most of these don't follow, and will not follow rules, be disciplined, or sacrifice for others.
Charming but draining, and you cannot repair them while being their friend.
2007-01-17 13:35:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋