help need advice on how to handle bf's jealous,controlling ex wife we(bf and i) are getting married soon?

Question

my bf has been divorced for 4 yrs but his ex is still bitter about him leaving her and takes it out on us mostly me.she consently talks badly about us to his family,she allways trys to get more money from him(he already pays her more than the courts ordered)and harasses him when he does not give in,has a fit if i go to any school function for thier son(made such a fit about one thing the school has asked my bf to keep me away to avoid any other "problems" with her) these are just a few things i could go on forever.i have never done anything to her and my bf except for divorcing her treats her with respect and is a great dad.the problem is my bf allows her to do this.they both have joint custody but he allways allows her to say and do anything she wants to us he says for his sons sake and not to make waves.we fight over this all the time and he has had it.he said if i don't drop it he will leave me for good .so how can i learn to not let her get under my skin when she pulls her crap?

by the way he did not leave her for me

Answer 1

Your issues are with him, not her...he is the one not taking a proper stance and sticking up for you in the relationship. As he has already stated that by asking him to he will leave you for good, he has told you that you and your relationship is not a priority for him; it is your choice if you want to live with that, but don't expect it to change or get better over time.

The only way to not let it get under your skin is to avoid contact with her as much as possible and in the times when you have to interact with her, take the high road and don't play into her drama...any issues she has with your boyfriend, she needs to be referred to him to address those issues, not discuss or complain to you about it.