I was grocery shopping earlier today and this man in a wheelchair was planted in the middle of the isle blatantly ignoring the people waiting to get around him. Being in a hurry, I slightly pushed him out of the way so people could get by as well as myself. He began yelling at me so did other shoppers in the isle. What is wrong with this guy? Just because he is in a wheelchair, he gets to inconvience everyone else? And what is wrong with the other able bodied customers? They wanted him out of the way just as much as I did but have the nerve to scold me?
2007-01-17 12:24:34 · 25 answers · asked by Billy Jack H 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Disabled or able bodied, how would you like it if you were oblivious and in the same scenario and someone walks up to you and "slightly pushes you out of the way"?
It warranted your respect of him to ask if he could move (which I assume he could, considering he got himself into the aisle) or if you could assist him if he appeared unable.
Your "being in a hurry" didn't give you a right to do what you did.
2007-01-17 12:28:47 · answer #1 · answered by ☼High☼Voltage☼Blonde☼ 4 · 9⤊ 0⤋
You should have asked his permission before moving him. He already has little control over his limbs, you don't need to add to the feeling by just moving him for your own convenience. How would you feel if you were in a wheelchair and a stranger, without even asking or saying anything, moved you? Even a slight push? It would make you feel helpless if anything, knowing that a random stranger could easily move you wherever he wanted.
However I totally understand your side of the story also. I agree that the other customers were being hypocritical and they definetely should not have started yelling at you. This was between you and the man in the wheelchair, not the whole store, and it was bad manners on their part to get involved and yell at you.
In addition, the man in the wheelchair shouldn't have yelled at you either. This was obviously a misunderstanding where you just wanted to get down the isle without tripping over him, but he took it as a personal rude insult. You obviously did not have any bad intention towards him whatsoever, and he should have considered that you didn't know any better and you didn't think twice about it, before blowing up all over the place.
Overall this is a situation where everybody could have been a bit more polite. The other customers should have stayed out of it, the man in the wheelchair should have thought that perhaps he was inconveniencing others and you didn't mean any harm, and you should have more empathy to those less fortunate than you and you should have at least said "Excuse me" before you touched his wheelchair. . .
Peace!
2007-01-17 13:31:33 · answer #2 · answered by Traveler 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not the bad guy. You're just equally oblivious to good manners as everyone else in the scene you describe.
The man in the wheelchair was being rude by blocking the aisle.
You were rude by pushing him (basically the wheelchair is an extension of his person).
Everyone else was rude because it is not good manners to correct other people's rude behavior (unless they are your children -- and then you should do it in private as much as possible).
Next time, say, "Excuse me, please, I can't quite fit through here." He'll probably move.
There is also the alternative of turning around, walking back up the aisle and going around by way of the next aisle. I frequently do that when someone is blocking the aisle; of course, I need all the exercise I can get.
2007-01-17 12:45:29 · answer #3 · answered by Sara Katrina 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, I know you're hoping to find someone who's going to tell you what you did was alright, but... It wasn't. That wheelchair is an extension of that handicapped person, so in essence you pushed the handicapped person. That's what everyone's problem is with what you did. In the future... just simply say excuse me, might I get through please. Manners and compassion would have been better than impatience and balls. (I had to throw the balls thing in since this is in the football category) Just live and learn, and move on.
2016-05-24 01:46:44 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Touching the wheelchair was way out of line. It's not okay to move him!!! I don't agree the chair is part of his body exactly, but definitely it is his personal belonging at the least, that he was attending to! Even if it was someone's cart, it's still not completely okay to move the cart unless they aren't in arms reach of it or unless you ask first. Moving a stroller or carriage with a baby in it is also wrong for similar reasons as the wheelchair. you aren't touching the baby, but you are touching somebody's personal and special equipment that they are riding in. with a baby or even a disabled person, they are vulnerable and helpless if physically accosted. You should have said EXCUSE ME for starters..did you even try that? Do you think he isn't a person? You expected him to be polite and not inconvenience people, but you weren't polite. It's not okay to point a finger at him and say he was wrong, especially when the thing you did wrong was a physically aggressive act. you admit to being in a hurry. People should move out of your way??? Maybe he was in a hurry also! Maybe there wasn't anyplace else for him to go. I think it's great that people spoke up on his behalf.
2007-01-17 14:07:52 · answer #5 · answered by pineconeamanda 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I think you were in the wrong. Touching a person's wheelchair is equivalent to invading his/her personal space. It was as if you pushed a person out of the way so you could get by. Next time, just ask, "Excuse me, could you please pull forward a bit so I could get by? Thank you so much."
As other answerers mentioned, it was none of the other customers' business so they shouldn't have scolded you.
I'm sorry you were in such a hurry. I hope it's not a common occurrence -- life is so much more enjoyable when we're not stressed.
2007-01-17 17:54:48 · answer #6 · answered by drshorty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think about it, if you were in the same isle, and a fat person was blaocking the way, say like a 250 pound person not like a morbidly obese person. Would you push them just a little to get them out of the way? Why not?
That is why he was angry at you,
2007-01-17 14:57:19 · answer #7 · answered by Haveitlookedat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel as though you did violate his sense of space when you did this. I have been tempted to do things of that nature, or tell people to get off their cell phones, and even scold their bratty kids while in public. I don't though because I know that in the end they are responsible for their behavior and I am responsible for mine. I would've walked out of the aisle and found another way to my products. Yes, it was inconvenient to experaince that, but at least you know not to do that again. Also, I would not have yelled at you.
2007-01-17 12:41:58 · answer #8 · answered by rubix110 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think I may have said "excuse me" and tried to sneak by (and if I moved the chair, so be it). I think moving someone's wheelchair is kind of like not being able to get by a standing person...if they are in your way, most people would probably not "shove" them out of their way (I guess some may).
2007-01-17 12:28:55 · answer #9 · answered by CG 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Did you or anyone ask him to move?
You push him to the side a little, is the same thing as if you would have pushed any one else out of your way.
You should have politely asked him to move so you and others could get by. If he couldn't do it on his own, then you should have asked his caretaker to do it. Or, you should have asked him if he needed help.
No one enjoys or deserves to be pushed around.
2007-01-17 15:07:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋