Hi, has anyone of you been really self conscious, but like really too much and got better? or do you know anyone like that?My boyfriend has really low confidence, and therefore he makes me feel bad very often, because he feels so bad. he went thru bad childhood and is really self conscious, always thinks people are laughing at him and talking about him, it is just awful. can people like that change?
2007-01-17 12:16:06 · 21 answers · asked by Eli 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
idk y hes not happy when he has a gf. just tell him they arent making fun of him and make him feel comfortable.
2007-01-17 12:19:33 · answer #1 · answered by greg g 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, they can change. I am 24. I graduated at 18, in Class of 2000. Since kindergarten, I was made fun of every year. I was seriously gross-looking. It didn't help that between ages 9 and 18, I was abused by an older step-cousin. (Who is no longer my step-cousin, thankfully).
It took me some time - but I am at a point, now, where I am pleased with me features. I know my downfalls. I surround myself with positive influences and friends. My boyfriend encourages me, and respects me. He doesn't need to get it from just you - that would not help very much at all. He needs to figure out why he feels that way.
has he looked into any kind of counseling at all? Nothing with drugs - just counseling - to see if he can somehow find out why he is feeling the way he is, and turn it around to be positive?
2007-01-17 12:23:27 · answer #2 · answered by ~Z~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Until your friend begins to put into words his own problem he will not be able to change. I am guessing there is so much more that we don't know here or that you don't know. Mental health will be earned as each patient learns the facts of life and what makes depression. There are some people who like the charade of pretending this is their illness. Try to find another friend to confide in who is very much like yourself. You are an outsider as I see the situation.
2007-01-17 14:45:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes they can change but he needs people around him that are not always bringing him down and you do not need to let him bring you down, I have been in the same situation that he is in and i had to get my life back in order, First of all he is having A pity party and inviting you to each one and this is so unfair of him and if he really loved you he would not want you to experience the feelings that he has, Honey, he isn't the only one that has had A bad childhood but he is the only one that can overcome it, you will have to talk to him and let him know that he is just as good as anyone and he should not hold his head down for anyone, He needs to hold his head high and always look everyone straight in the eyes and let them know that he is somebody and he counts just as they do, life is to short to feel like he is feeling, God made all of us and honey God does not make junk. Make him understand that no one is laughing or talking about him, I am sure that these people have other things to talk about other than him.
If you continue on allowing him to bring you down, then you will also began having a low self esteem, I know you want to help him but he has to help himself, misery loves company and honey you are his company and I hate to see you get to the point that you to feel that people are laughing at you to and believe me, you do not want to feel like this, He will never change unless he wants to change, Maybe he enjoys the idea of you feeling sorry for him and thinks you will always be there for him, Think about this and decide what kind of life you want. He needs to get A grip and live his life and quit bringing people down.
2007-01-17 12:51:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes they can...
If you have low self esteem then try to raise it up.
If they laugh then either ignore it or just laugh with them
This year this chick called me big eyed and I just said "I know don't I look beautiful!?"
But if it is a clothing problem or acne problem you can ALWAYS change....
Like getting pro-active (for acne) or just buy cooler and cuter clothes..
Don't let those people get to you.
Also if you went through bad childhood just write it down on paper and burn it (or flush it) that way you know it's out of your mind and now on paper.
2007-01-17 12:21:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was changed. I used to be so bad that I wouldn't go anywhere, see or talk to anyone other than my dad for six months. didn't even know what my next door neighbor looked like. When I heard Christians talking about having self esteem it felt foreign and wrong to me. One day I asked GOD why all these people were wrong. why? I'll never forget what HE told me.(this is for me, I don't know about others) "I want you to have JESUS esteem!: If you have self esteem you might begin to feel you don't need me. HE is my refuge and my defense. Others now come to me for counseling And I give them JESUS. NO FEAR!
2007-01-17 12:34:22 · answer #6 · answered by windwalker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was just like him.. what my friends did was that they talked to me more often which was so cool, and they invited me to alot of places which i loved! i feel much better about my self because i know i have friends and a girl that loves me, i use ti be shy around alot of people but know i feel more confident. Try taking your Boyfriend out to places were you 2 can be more active and were there is more people, like Kiddyland, Disneyland, 6 Flags, Chuck-e-Cheeses, the movies, places like that. also try talking to him about his feelings, my friends did this alot to me which i am very thankful for... i have a much better life and so will your boyfriend because you care so much that your asking for help. well good luck and have fun!
2007-01-17 12:24:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm like him or worst is self esteem.
Been on medicine, even interned in a mental clinic.
And no, I haven't changed, felt like crap all of my life, and still do and always will be.
I think it depends, many people can change, hopefully your boyfriend does, it has you by his side, so maybe that's a start.
Try to help him, I would love that someone did that to me.
2007-01-17 12:30:34 · answer #8 · answered by Amir82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend probably has some unresolved issues from his difficult childhood. My advice to you would be to go to a counselor or a therapist with him. That way he can get the help that he needs, without feeling akward about going alone.
I hope things work out!
2007-01-17 12:24:13 · answer #9 · answered by ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, people like that can change with a lot of love and some therapy. He has to acknowledge that he's got a negative attitude towards life and want to be different. It's up to him to get himself some help.
But no matter what his issues are it's not ok for him to treat you poorly. He can be a jerk to the world, but it's not ok for him to be a jerk to the person who loves him.
2007-01-17 12:20:30 · answer #10 · answered by Jilli Bean 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you know that your energy balances with that of those around you. Your body is aligning to his because you are around him a lot. Try to bring his up to yours instead. Change yours and make a conscious effort to be happy around him and see if he lightens up.
2007-01-17 12:20:54 · answer #11 · answered by Lalangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋