Can you help me with the meaning of this quote?

Question

"As the pain that can be told is but half a pain, so the pity that questions has little healing in its touch." The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton

Answer 1

Well I don't know if this is what she means, but this is what it sounds like to me. Pain that can be told is but half a pain, because truly crippling pain is so painful it cannot even be expressed (like no one can express the pain of losing a child. You can never know and understand such pain unless you experience it). OK second half of quote-anyone who has truly felt the pain that cannot be told, knows that there is nothing you can say to someone who is actually experiencing that pain. True pity is (to me) the heart of empathy. When you know how someone feels (from such a horrible pain) and have pity for them you need no words or questions because there is nothing you can say. You can only be there and help them go through it.

Answer 2

First part: when you can share your pain, you feel better for unburdening yourself - the half a pain part.

Second part: whole-hearted, unquestioning, open-armed acceptance of you heals your wounded heart. When people question you, it's as if they are weighing what amount of pity you are deserving of, and rather than healing you, you feel defensive or diminished - and alone.

Answer 3

It means when you talk about it, it can ease the burden or lessen the pain, but when people take pity on you, it does not really help but makes it more painful. Pity is not what you need from people but empathy.