WHY do women TRY & get pregnant when their situation REALLY isn't conducive to raising a child?

Question

[ok, i'm tryin this again cuz it got all twisted by several of the answerers. check the earlier one if interested]

i'm not talking accidents, i'm talking PLANNING to get pregnant in a bad situation.
their CHOICE is the problem. i'm not even saying that they would be terrible at it, but it just shows that they lack self-sacrifice already, how will they be when they are mothers? it's scary!

for example, (these are SPECIFIC examples i'm talking about, not generalizations) they're 16 yr old illegal immigrants with no education and no money and the father to be is going to jail? or they have little commitment from their *boyfriend* of some-odd years (who has multiple children from multiply women) and already have a 3 month old by him?

I JUST WANT TO MAKE THIS CLEAR- the issue here is that they are TRYING to get pregnant! they are PLANNING to have a baby too young, too unstable, WHATEVER, and they are DELIBERATELY trying to bring a child into that situation.

Answer 1

The issue usually seems to be a lack of love and attention from the normal places.

And some incredible stupidity, yes.

And cultural, er, issues. "Random Family: Love, Drugs, Trouble, and Coming of Age in the Bronx" is an interesting read. I imagine things look different if, where you live, having a baby at sixteen is "normal," and even young grandmothers are happy about it in lieu of being horrified.

From a review of the book:

"Newborns are honored, because "babies were about hoping and growing, not just surviving. They pulled you into the future, even if you were imprisoned by the failures of the past.""

Etc, etc. (http://www.usatoday.com/life/books/reviews/2003-02-05-family_x.htm)

Essentially, it'll change your life, and if your life really stinks, I suppose any change is welcome. If you have no identity, education, self-worth, etc, maybe it looks like a good idea to try to be a mother and hang your hat on that. Despite how lousy you'll be at it. The messed-up teens are invariably the ones asking the most frighteningly stupid questions about their pregnancies here; it's pretty disturbing.

I saw the 16-yr-old mess, too; I _think_ -- I _hope_ -- it's a troll. That's too many separate messes for any one person. I mean, I'm sure somebody somewhere has been equally and even more of a mess, but. Too much detail in the questions; looks like troll, I thought.

There's also the delusion that it'll keep the guy in question around. That one mystifies me, given how unlikely a _boy_ who wasn't looking for a kid is to make a great, involved father. Not that it doesn't happen, but. The divorce rates for kids who marry are so high I wonder if it's worth urging teen mums to get married in the first place.

So, yeah, I've wondered. The amount of "accidents" out there make me a bit suspicious, too. I didn't come close to abstinence, and didn't get pregnant until I had the holy trinity of money, husband, education. It's possible to do it well with only two, but one or none? Yikes.

I would've been bordering on suicidal, before heading to the abortionist, had I found myself knocked up in my teens. To _want_ that will just remain a mystery for most people, I imagine.

Answer 2

Many times women consider that the only way to preserve a man or the only way to be loved is to have a youngster via a man who they believe they love.I am beautiful sure that after the joy, of being pregnant, subsides the women emerge as very depressed. Wouldn't you be upset if you were the one man or woman you knew who wanted the baby to be born? In infrequent cases the female realizes the mistakes that they've made and make alternatives to offer there little one a lifetime of love as a substitute of a life of no longer being desired via there father.

Answer 3

Sometimes women think that the only way to keep a man or the only way to be loved is to have a baby by a man who they believe they love.I'm pretty sure that after the excitement, of being pregnant, subsides the women become very depressed. Wouldn't you be upset if you were the only person you knew who wanted the baby to be born? In rare cases the female realizes the mistakes that they have made and make choices to give there child a life of love instead of a life of not being wanted by there father.

Answer 4

They are those examples of people who should not be allowed in the gene pool, they shouldn't even be allowed to breed. People who do that kind of thing are immiagrants that think they will get citizenship by having a child or that their boyfriend won't leave them or that they will make him pay big if he does. These people are mentally missing something by putting a child into a situation like this. They want pity from society by showing they have a family and can't make it on their own because of their circumstances.
People who purposefully do this when they are in a situation like you describe are foolish and are dooming their child to a miserable life.

Answer 5

To love and be loved. This women are probably starved of affection and think that having a child will solve all of their problems. They think that it will make the father stay around or make them love them more. Maybe it's so that they have something to control in their life which seems out of control.

Or for the good old reason of 'MONEY'!

Answer 6

We need a license for everything else WHY NOT TO HAVE A BABY!! I agree some girls think if they have a baby they will keep their boyfriend! Right like any teen boy wants to change poopy diapers or be woken up every 2-4 hours. Spend money on diapers not booz and hang with my homies...........should I keep going? I agree with you and think many people are just not thinking clearly, but then these people probably do not have parents around or role models to guide them.

Answer 7

from time to time women human beings think of that the only thank you to maintain a guy or the only thank you to be enjoyed is to have a toddler by a guy who they suspect they love.i'm fairly beneficial that once the buzz, of being pregnant, subsides the girls human beings replace into very depressed. does not you be dissatisfied in case you have been the only man or woman you knew who needed the toddler to be born? In uncommon situations the female realizes the blunders that they have got made and make alternatives to furnish there newborn a life-time of love somewhat of a life-time of not being needed by there father.

Answer 8

My friend just had a baby and she had been trying to fall preggers since 16. I think she did it cos of the attention. She loves to be centre of attention and lets face it when ur preggers u are. I think she was upset that i had fallen pregnent too because suddenly she wasnt the centre of attention and she used to say 'dosnt it pis...... u off to see all these pregnent women when a couple of months ago there was none.'
Now she's had the bub she dosnt even really give him the same attention she gave to him in her tummy and palms him off to her mum a bit. sad

Answer 9

some girls think it's cute....the idea of having a baby and a family...they get so caught up on what they see on tv that they forget that they are in the real life and they try to make tv life their life and then when they get stuck with the real thing it's like o aw well you know it's like gosh get a grip of yourself know what your doing before you do it and really outline these things out

Answer 10

There's no accounting for stupid. You're looking for a logical answer to an illogical decision.

People should have to get a license before you get pregnant, and I should be in charge of handing them out.