Everytime I go to a house party or go to a bar I feel layed back most of the time,I just sit there and keep myself to myself,and sometimes I feel paranoid,and I feel like no one has no time for me.
I would really love to blend in,but I just dont know
how. I do feel awful about it,I would love to blend in with everyone. How can I help myself on this?
Please you guys,please give me advise. Thank YYou's. x x x
2007-01-17 11:41:24 · 12 answers · asked by DollyFan 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Sometimes it's hard to break the ice in the social settings you describe. Bear in mind that most people like to talk about themselves, so if you introduce yourself and ask them open questions about how they ended up at the house party or bar, how their day was, etc, and then follow up their answers with other open questions, it's amazing how easily conversations get started.
2007-01-17 11:49:26 · answer #1 · answered by grateful 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me that you lack confidence. You might be giving out body language signals that you want to be left alone. Before you go out next time, think of three or four questions that you could ask a stranger, to start a conversation with. Look around the room and see if someone else is sitting alone, they might be feeling paranoid too. Be interested in the other person, and what they have to say, try not to talk about yourself the whole time. If you see someone you know, say hi to them and smile like you are glad to see them. Try finding a good book about building your self confidence and/or how to make friends. Meanwhile be your own best friend and correct you paranoid thoughts, they only get you down. Good Luck.
2007-01-17 11:54:35 · answer #2 · answered by Ripplediane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See a doctor it may be a case of anxiety or depression and can be fixed easily with some medications and some good talking.
Health food shops do sell herbal remedies to help over come these though maybe try them first give them a test they'll help perk you up and feel a bit more comfortable and sociable but you may just not be good at breaking the ice which a lot of us aren't. If your more of a listener then get them talking about some of their interests things they will probably love talking about.
2007-01-17 11:49:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pretend that you are an actor.
You are invinsible, you are Superman. You are confident, bold, self-assured. If you get turned down, who cares? Move one. There are more fish in the sea, honey.
You say, 'hello, how are you doin' tonight?" You be polite and offer the lady a drink but beware, no one wants to be used.
What out for those users that will take advantage of your generosity.
Move on boy, move on, and keep your head up. Even if you go home alone, there is always tomorrow.
You come alone, you leave alone - no big deal. You come alone - meet a girl that doesn't work out - well, you never know who you meet through her. You come alone - you meet a good girl and you date.
It's a win win situation.
2007-01-17 11:45:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that the best way to fit in is to be yourself. no matter how hard you try you will not be able to please everyone at the end of the day.
You need to be you that is what is best for your mind. If you want to blend in then why don't you find a place to hang out in that is more your style? laid back chill. just be you that is the only thing that i can say to you dont be fake people!!
good luck and you'll do just fine if you are you!!!
2007-01-17 12:33:44 · answer #5 · answered by Robin t 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chill out, you will find that lot's of people feel the same way when they are out, just relax, don't try to be anybody, you are who you are and everyone else is who they are, at the end of the day people are just people, and you do blend in your human aren't you!
Just chill and enjoy the company where ever you may be.
2007-01-17 20:26:29 · answer #6 · answered by kez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a guy, but I too have this problem. I think it may be "social anxiety" which there is a medication that will help. However, I also think with me it is a feeling of inferiority. I'm not good enough to talk to these people, and they don't want to to talk to me any way. But I work on myself, and make myself talk to someone when I'm in a gathering. That some times helps, because they are always nice to me, and will talk. But if they start acting distracted, I excuse myself and will find someone else to talk to. I have found I usually find someone to relate to, and them relating to me. But we have to put out the effort ourselves, and allow ourselves to find someone that will talk with us. If I don't do this with myself, I will just sit and watch everyone else laughing, talking and having fun; then go home feeling terrible because no one wanted to talk to me. Sometimes we have to MAKE ourselves do something that we are afraid to do.
2007-01-17 11:52:32 · answer #7 · answered by Ikeg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just relax & let ur self BE. don't "try", it won't work. If you have to make an effort, it won't work. Don't have any expectations of how u should behave, that'll stop the flow. U have to go with the flow.
2007-01-17 13:04:43 · answer #8 · answered by glgl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldn't fill that way quit trying so hard just get up and walk around and say high or something you need to mingle or no one will notice you ..just relax
2007-01-21 05:24:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you on drugs? This can be a side effect, have seen it happen sometimes with drug use.
If you are, I would suggest stopping that first!
2007-01-18 00:25:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋