Form of discpline....spanking...grounding...other?

Question

what is you choice? and why? also, I was told a step-parent can't spank their child..is that true?

Answer 1

If you agree with spanking then what's wrong with police brutality? My thought is that if it is OK for a parent to hit a child when they misbehave (for example run through the house) then it is OK for a police officer to smack you with his stick next time you get caught speeding.

I believe in removing children from the situation if they act up and taking away things just as an adult is treated when they break the law. "Go to your room" or Sit in the corner" is the same is "Go to Jail." It teaches that if you don't follow certain rules then you will be pushed out of the group. "I'm taking this toy from you because you threw it" is the same as "I'm taking your license because you drove drunk." It teaches that if you don't act responsiblity with your toys then you will no longer have the priveledge of owning them.

I really like to take the approach of natural consequences. For example: 5 yr old refuses to put on shoes before school. Take him to school with shoes in car and give them to him on the way in and say "the teacher may not let you in if you don't have shoes on." Or, pre-teen acting up in class? Go to class with them because when they were a baby you couldn't let them go places alone because they didn't know how to monitor themselves and follow rules without an adult close by so if they cannot do that now either then I guess I will have to go with you to class and remind you of proper behaviour. Guaranteed that if you go and sit with them in just one class the behaviour will change. You may only need to warn them about the consequences of acting up to get the results that you want.

It's kind of fun. I expect children to test their boundries and I like to be smarter than them with my response to things. Any dummy can just hit or yell at someone but you have to use your head to get them to do what you want without intimidating them. You'll also more likely to end up with children that think first rather than lashing out when things don't go their way.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

Not sure what the law is were you are about step parents spanking but here in Canada you can be charged with abuse even if you are the parent. What we do is first explain to her what she did wrong and why it is wrong. Just because last week they did the same thing and you explained it to them then doesn't mean they will remember. Then we decide what to do, we do not believe in spankings unless REALLY necessary. We might have her do the dishes or fold laundry or something like that. If the thing that she has done wrong has anything to do with the TV she is not allowed to watch or play with the TV for a few days. Usually just threatening will be enough. I guess it depends on what the child has done wrong, I don't like to take things away cause then she just finds something else to play with. The other thing that we might do is have her sit at the table and practice reading, writing, or something like that. Which has kinda backfired since she likes to do this most of the time. Anyhow hope this helps. Good Luck
Kath

Answer 3

Hello,
1.) Q- Each to their own. There is a different between a spanking and beating! God made that bum for a spanking if so shall need it. One good swat on the bum with bare hand never hurt any child but their feeling's
Now for what age might be to your aggression.
2.) Q No a step parent can't be charged if is legal parent and done in a proper manor and age. I WOULD THINK???
Sandra

Answer 4

Disclipline should be metted out according to the child and how the child reacts to disclipline. Sometimes a scolding works well. Sometimes time-out or a corner works. Sometimes a spanking. Spare the rod and spoil the child. A well mannered child is a delight. Step parents have the same rights as a normal parent. As long as the disclipline doesn't leave a mark.

Answer 5

Since spanking lowers the iq, causes resentment, causes behavior to be hidden rather than changed, doesn't work, and doesn't teach anything useful, we never spank. I'd say nursing is a primary discipline tool, because a nursing child is a happy child is a child who wants to be pleasing to mommy.

So, you get off on a good start by nursing on demand, never leaving your baby to cry, avoiding separation between mom and baby in the first few years of baby's life, and holding your baby a lot. With this solid foundation, where your child loves and can trust you, teaching discipline is very easy.

Make your expectations clear, your rules sensible, few, and consistent, and understand child development. Be fair, be firm, be loving. Foolproof.

No one should ever hit any child ever.

Answer 6

I believe spanking is OK..if the child is in your care and you let them run the show then you have no control over the child. I wouldn't beat a child with a weapon or anything but I see nothing wrong with a smack on the bottom when they are misbehaving. Because I think giving a child a time-out is only giving them more time to think of something else bad to do. If your child is sensitive and it hurts their feelings to be put in the corner then it might work but some kids it just proves to them that no matter what they do the worst thing that is going to happen is that they will be stood in the corner or given a time out. Although these days they wont let you correct your child in public but I say they want you to treat your step children just as if they were your own..so...smack them on the bottom or a good tap on the mouth.

Answer 7

I usually ground my older two, and I put my 2 yr old in time-out, and I just scold my 1 yr old,(say no and such). But I have spanked my older two, as a last resort. And I usually disliked myself for it. I think it means I have lost control of myself, and that is no way to teach your children. As for step-parents spanking a child, I don't know about legalities but I would never allow my hubby to hit the older two, as they are not his. Nor would I allow my ex's wife to hit my children.

Answer 8

I hope to NOT be a spanker... but I know that might change as my baby gets older. To me spanking is just teaching your child that it's OK to hit when they are angry... and it's usually a relaease for the parent.

I would not be OK if anyone other than myself or her father spanked her... although I know my Mom probably will at some point =)

Answer 9

If you are a step parent, you should not lay your hands on someone else's child. This will cause huge emotional and possible legal problems.

Before anyone lays their hands on a child, they should first use their words. Talking and reasoning are skills that will get better results in the long run. A spanking should be the last result.

Answer 10

Kids need to understand there is consequences for their actions good or bad. Good work, extra effort might warrant a trip to Baskin Robbins.

For pure and complete defiance ONE swat on the but. For minor offences a time out where they have to sit on the bed and count to the number I say. In public saying 50 usually gets a fast obedience...and if not I say 250...I think I have only had to use the swat on the but twice on the boy and he is 6. 10 counts when you know he is just teasing are common ... usually followed by a chase to his bed (with lots of giggling) Then he sits down counts to 10 and is good.

Answer 11

It really wouldn't be sensible. It will just make the child cry, and it and they will probably start having a "hissy-fit". Just ground him/her, for like a couple of days...tell them no tv/friends/computer (whatever they enjoy the most) But no, I would not spank them, they would just grow to expect it. :o)