Ladies, I have noticed that some guys can get away with using terms of endearment on women they don't really know. For example, if you are Australian or English, you can refer to just any girl as "love" even if you don't know her. Ex: "no worries, love."
Then, in the South, there's "darling." Same casual usage.
Are these random terms of endearment nice and welcome or are they creepy and it seems like the guy is angling in on you?
2007-01-17 10:08:35 · 20 answers · asked by Murphy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
As a bloke who gets away with this sort of terminology a lot depends on the body language used, the circumstances, and the people involved.
If the bloke is being nice and is merely passing by (eg he drops something and the lady picks it up for him and hands it back) and he says thanks love but only looks at the dropped item and or her eyes, briefly, then goes along his way, that's usually ok.
If he allows his gaze to rest on any area of her beauty other than her eyes, or he doesn't immediately move off to be about his business then this becomes sleazy and is not well accepted.
An extreme example is if I see a lady with beautiful eyes and a nice smile that makes me smile, then, in passing I will tell her that she has a lovely smile or eyes but I don't stop walking. They smile more and take this compliment as it is intended, merely a compliment, not an attempt to chat them up.
My body language conveys my intentions and if I have any ungentlemanly thoughts, then although my words are the same, they are not received the same way. The subconscious doesn't lie.
As far as referring to any girl as "love" the older and more "Aussie" you are, the more likely you will be accepted when referring to a girl as "love" but the assumption that any Australian can refer to, "just any girl as, "love", even if you don't know her" could get you into a lot of trouble.
As for the use of the word "darling"?
In the south of Australia a female can refer to a male as, "darl" but if a bloke called an unfamiliar girl "darling" he would probably be drunk and, very shortly, rolling on the floor curled in a ball!
So the moral of the story is, don't use them too often and definitely don't use them if there is even the slightest hint in your mind of any sort of "angling" thoughts. and deliver them from a suitable distance (i.e. not infringing on the lady's 'personal space'.
Keep compliments and friendly flirting alive and well. They keep the enjoyment in life.
2007-01-17 10:28:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As stupid as it is they get away with it because they have an accent, and becuase it is different. There arent really many terms of endearment that americans can use that sound all that great, aside from the southern thing. But I know many women that do not think it is appropriate in ANY circumstance. I wouldnt really say that the phrases are "welcome" so much as just accepted as a different culture. And the way in which they are presented are what would make them "creepy". No woman wants a bumbling drunk man hanging over her spouting endearments into her ears....
2007-01-17 10:16:14 · answer #2 · answered by weeewah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tone of voice and body language. If a stranger is groping as he's calling me "love", then it's a problem. If he calls me darling at an arm's length without touching, but has a friendly (not leering) smile on his face, it's probably okay.
Thing is, if a guy's just sort of creepy altogether, he could call you "Miss" and it might seem offensive. Some guys can just get away with it. Others just can't.
Oh, and the British or Southern accent goes a long way with these term of endearments (as long as they're not a fake accent)!
2007-01-17 10:14:10 · answer #3 · answered by flyonthwall99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me, they are endearing when they are a natural part of the way that particular person speaks. Then I know they are not trying to impress me or put on an act. But otherwise they can be creepy. In fact, that's exactly the word I would use.
2007-01-17 10:13:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm guessing it would largely depend on how you handle it and how you say it... Voice tone, posture, attitude, and so on make a huge difference. If you say something like "no worries love" or "no sweat babe." or even "kiddo" in a casual and uncommitted way then it's not a big deal.
No I'm not a chick, but I am trained in body language and psychology... =P
2007-01-17 10:14:05 · answer #5 · answered by Mike K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Creepy.
2007-01-17 10:11:00 · answer #6 · answered by All I have to do is dream... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would take it as a compliment from a good guy friend of mine but if it was just some random guy who i bumped into and said soory and he says no worries, darling/love. i would be a liitle creeped out
2007-01-17 10:12:31 · answer #7 · answered by Falling in Love 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends who they are coming from????? I talk to friends in a cute manner and it doesn't mean nothing more that just being cute... but if somebody I don't know tells me stuff like that, I might get I little scared
2007-01-17 10:15:29 · answer #8 · answered by aries 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree about a little old lady. But most others will annoy me by doing this. I usually get pretty crappy about it :P
2016-05-24 01:21:16 · answer #9 · answered by Trudy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the guy himself. If he's charming and polite, I'm fine with it. If he's creepy, I'm really not OK with it.
2007-01-17 10:10:59 · answer #10 · answered by Amigurl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋