I was seeing this nice man from my church. He treated me well and has 2 very good jobs, but he was tearing my nerves up. After only 5 times of going out in about a 2 month span he was already talking about marriage and spending the rest of his life with me. He was telling people at our church that he was seeing me and he even told our pastor that if we get married he wanted him to perform the ceremony. I just couldn't take it anymore.
After about 2 months of just trying to grin and bear it I finally let him know that I no longer wanted to see him anymore.
My best friend says that I am a fool because he is a nice spiritual man that he really cared for me and good men like that don't come around everyday. She says that I should have stayed with him because I don't really know what it is like to be with looser guys. I really don't have a lot of dating experience however I know what I don't like. If i would have stayed with him I would have snapped. Was I wrong?
2007-01-17 09:28:37 · 27 answers · asked by Cheryl J 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He just wasn't the right person for you. He sounds like he was nice, but if you two were incompatible and you weren't happy with him, then it is better that you broke things off early. I just hope that you were gentle and polite and explained things to him. I can understand someone being too clingy or needy or controlling (ugh!) and getting on your nerves. My problem in the past is letting things go on too long in the name of "being nice" and not wanting to hurt the other person's feelings. This just ends up working your nerves even more. You did the right thing. He will hopefully find someone who is right for him, as will you.
Tell your best friend to chill.
2007-01-17 09:35:54 · answer #1 · answered by badkitty1969 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only thing wrong is the input from your best friend causing you to doubt yourself. You know you were not happy with this man and that's all what matters and you did the right thing by choosing to end it. It doesn't matter how great people are if you are not happy. Often such people have their own issues of dependency/neurosis/passive aggressiveness ie.. I have actually said before to loved ones, "I have made a choice so I need you to support me." As far as loser guys, there are many guys that come along, these men are not in school/unemployed, in and out of prisons, disrespectful at the onset, father to many illegitimate children ie ie and the list goes on and women are foolish enough to try to be in serious relationships with these men and wonder why they have so many problems. I will advise you since you don't have much dating experience AVOID these obvious "losers" and you should be okay. There are MANY good guys out there. You can find a great guy that is not a jerk and won't make you crazy.
2007-01-17 09:44:05 · answer #2 · answered by Sweetgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When black parents decide to take responsibility for their own lives and the lives of their children. They are lazy, do not discipline their children, are more worried about their own social life than their children's homework, just want handouts, and are overall bad people. They tell their children that all white people are evil and hate them, then turn around and take those same white peoples money to feed that shithole they call a mouth. Black people are given everything and yet they still can not succeed at life because they are lazy mofos. Section 8 housing, welfare, medicare, food stamps... What more do they need? They are already provided free housing, food, health care, and money in their ******* pockets, and they complain that the white man is keeping them down. Ha, if we shipped all the burnt pieces of poo back to africa with the other monkeys I guarantee that America will be a better place. All the other immigrant races have something to offer: hispanics and their strong work ethic, asians with their intelligence, hell I'd rather propose a trade with africa it seems that all the true african people i know are intelligent, caring, and kind people, we should trade our pieces of poo for real africans. Black Americans are weak minded people who have a false sense of entitlement when they are already given more than most whites are. I know white people who have worked their entire lives and got laid off from their jobs that can not get food stamps, because there aren't enough funds. When there are blacks who have been on the "stamps" for literrally generations with no effort to elevate themselves. Now that's wrong any way you look at it.
2016-05-24 01:13:31 · answer #3 · answered by Katherine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were not wrong and you cannot help what your heart desires. If you would have stayed with him and married him, you would be the most miserable person in the world and a disgrace to your marriage. Under very rare circumstances would I say it' ok to bring the subject of marriage up so early in a relationship. Men like that, christian or not, usually in the end are controllling, short-tempered, aggressive individuals trying to trap women. Either that, or extremely needy. You made the right choice.
2007-01-17 09:37:06 · answer #4 · answered by headstr8 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The truth of the matter is only you know how YOU feel. If you truly didnt see the relationship going anywhere, then yes it was better to end it now then to drag it on and have him get more emotionally attached to you. But, if you only ended it because you were feeling a little overwhelmed, then perhaps you should have explained that to him first and waited to see if he cooled it a bit. It does seem that he was a little over enthusiastic about the whole thing and that he was getting a bit ahead of himself, but maybe he has had feelings for you for awhile and you just didnt know it. Again, only YOU know how YOU feel....dont let ANYONE pressure you to stay in a relationship that you dont feel comfortable in.
2007-01-17 09:42:13 · answer #5 · answered by weeewah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a hard one to answer with the given information but you have to do what you feel is right. Self worth is tied to integrity. As long as you are true to yourself and don't feel the need to rationalize your decision, you probably made the right choice.
Your friend has a good point about their being a lot of loser guys, but that doesn't mean he was right for you.
You just stay true to what you feel is right, you will know when the right person comes along!
2007-01-17 09:37:03 · answer #6 · answered by MtnManInMT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I once went out with a guy who was sooo nice and only did what I wanted to.He spent all of his god given time talking to me on the phone or seeing me.IT DROVE ME CRAZY!!!!!!I liked him but when he told me he loved me I just couldn't take it any more so I broke up with him.Yeah I regreted it a little at first but I get over guys easily so it wasn't really a huge deal.My friends were the ones stressing over it.And waiting to long to break up because you don't want to hurt their feelings just makes the other person feel worse.It's happened to me before.If your friend thinks he's such a great guy she should date him.You did the right thing because you followed your heart instead of what others think.Good move!!!
2007-01-17 09:39:08 · answer #7 · answered by Jesseca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO WAY!!! Not to be rude but if your friend likes the guy so much why doesnt she date him! There are plenty of nice guys out there who wont kill your nerves. If you werent happy with this guy there is no reason to stay with him. Life is short enjoy yourself and BE HAPPY!!! Remember no matter what everyone else thinks at the end of th day you are the one who will have a smile on your face! Good luck!
2007-01-17 09:37:46 · answer #8 · answered by Mari 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What are the odds that a Woman and Man meet for the first time go out on a date three days later, make love on the first date, he falls in love with her and she falls in love with him and they get married 6 months later and then 25 years later their happily maried and he's on the yahoo typing this letter to your question...now hows that for Apples Sweety:);)
No two people are alike, but I guess I struck oil with the first Woman I ever dated and I picked a good one, but what are the odds that you will find true love as I did?
I'm here to tell you that true love exhists, because I found one.
End of Story!!
2007-01-17 09:37:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i must agree that good men are hard to find and there are certainly alot of loosers out there. i think you all should have a good line of communication. sometimes you have to let someone know how u feel if u dont how can he be aware. then i think once u have let him no and u honestly feel it aint gonna change then take the next step! communication is the key!
2007-01-17 09:43:25 · answer #10 · answered by sunkist39204 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋