he wont give me a baby???????

Question

i want a child with my fiance and he wont give me one. he says he wants a child with me. but when we have sex he pulls out. he doesn't want his last babymother to find out im pregnant thats why he's hesistating. i really love him but id also love a baby. do i stay with him and wait till he's ready or should we just go our seperate ways
thanx for your advice x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

i have one child already so i know the commitment

Answer 1

Pulled out?
If your dad would have pulled out you wouldn't be here either.
We should be thankful to him for people like you being in the world today.

Answer 2

I had a similiar experience years ago & looking back I'm glad I didn't get pregnant. Sometimes, you have to think that maybe it's not happening for a reason. I don't know the whole situation, but why does he care if his ex know's your pregnant? He's with you now right? Then he should be a man & live his own life & make his own decisions. I was with a man for 4 years & turned out he had at least one other girlfriend (and maybe more). I loved him so much that I'd do anything for him. I waited around for a long time thinking he was going to marry me while the whole time he was just using me physically & financially. I think that if things are right between you guys & he really loves you, you need to get married & have a child. Can you imagine if you did get pregnant & then things didn't work out with you guys, you'd be raising a child for the next 18 years. You should never wait for someone else to change or settle on what you want. Give him a choice, and if need be move on. There will be someone out there for you. As hard as it was, I moved on & now have been married for 10 years w/ a son. Good luck & be strong, all things will happen according to God's timing :o)

Answer 3

He was willing to give someone else a baby in the past but not you, his own fiance?
Talk to him and find out why he would rather have a child in the future.
The only way to find out the reasons he isn't ready is to ask.
Also, the pull out method isn't 100% effective against preventing pregnancy, so if you aren't using condoms or birth control then he may have a baby on the way sooner than expected.

Some questions to ask yourself:
1)What kind of role does he play in his 1st child's life? Does he pay child support and have visitation or was he more or less a sperm donor? (If he doesn't take care of his 1st child, what makes you think he would care of yours? However, if he does care for his, it could be that one is already too much to handle and he doesn't want an even greater responsibility with #2.)
2)Why is he letting his ex get in the way of the decision making? Baby making should be up to both of you and no one else. What's he worried about?

Answer 4

You are putting the cart before the horse, so to speak. You need to get commitment from him before you need a baby. That means marriage. You are going about it the wrong way. If he's still committed to his ex in some way (like with another baby), then there's no use in you trying to get pregnant for him. You will only create more problems, as it sounds like he's still trying to work out the problems from a previous relationship. I should also mention that he's probably having to pay child support for the other baby he has with his ex, so he might be hesitating especially if you were to have a baby for him out of wedlock. He'd have to support your baby, too. That's two babies to support. I can understand why he would be hesitating.

It sounds like you're in love with the idea of having a baby. I have a feeling that once you get that little baby in your arms and realize it's a full-time commitment day and night, you'd change your tune, especially being a single parent. It's not an easy task to take care of a baby. I would suggest you really giving some thought to your relationship before putting pressure on him to have a baby out of wedlock.

Ask a friend who has a small baby if you can keep it overnight, or stay around the baby for a few days. I believe you would probably change your entire perspective on having a baby.

Another thing to consider is if you will be able to support this child. A baby turns into a toddler, then into an adolescent, then into a teenager. How will you finance its care? They need clothing, food, shelter, and alot of support from two parents.

Answer 5

Maybe he has a better understanding of the responsibility it actually takes to have and take care of a child in a way that you do not. The best time to have a child is when both people in a couple WANT the child and can afford to support a child. If you are mature enough to have a child with your fiance, then you should be mature enough to sit down and have a discussion about marriage, children and your shared vision of your future.

If he really is more concerned about his ex-girlfriend, then it's time for you to find someone who loves and respects you and has a lot less emotional and financial baggage.

Answer 6

You have to decide which you want more. A baby now or your fiance. DO NOT make him have a child if he doesnt want to and NEVER trick him into it. All it will do is cause you to be a single mother. No matter how bad you want a baby, you have to respect his feelings about it too, Even if you dont agree with them. A child is for life for both of you and you dont want to have a child who's father doesnt want to be around. You need to find out why he says one thing and does another. Men are hard to talk to. Keep it casual and dont make him fell trapped. Maybe he really wants a baby but is just afraid you guys will end up like him and his ex. Nobody wants to be just a weekend parent. It probably hurts him to have limited visits with his first child and doesnt want that to happen again. Maybe he will fell more secure about it after you're married. Good Luck.

Answer 7

First off---marraige comes first then a baby. Sounds like he is still involved with his ex...are they unmarried too and have a child together? And now you want to bring another child into this world w/o a committment? You need to mature more and think about what you are doing, you are shacking up with a guy who already has a child, you don;t have a ring on your finger and all you want is a baby. You need to leave him and be on your own until you know how to make a family.

Answer 8

what's his fixation on his ex? that would worry me the most.
really talk to him about this, see if he REALLY does want to have a baby with you. maybe the responsibilty of one is enough for him right now.
either way, at least wait till you're married to have kids, and wait to get married until you know you both want the same things out of life.

and how sure are you that he won't leave you and your kids? does he take care of his other kids (5 did you say in another question?) make sure he's a good dad first also (just sayin, you didn't mention anything either way)

Answer 9

When I thought I wanted to have a baby with my boyfriend at the time, someone asked me this question: "You say you want to have a child with him, but the real question to ask is if you want to have a child who grows up to BE LIKE HIM."
I think the title of your question is telling...he's not there to "give you a baby"...a baby is a human being who will only be a baby for a very short time. You don't "get" a baby like a gift. If you want him to give you something, opt for chocolates or a lovely necklace. Save the baby-making for when you both grow up a little.

Answer 10

If you love him then you will respect his feelings on this. If you love him and want to stay with him then you really have no choice but to wait until he's ready do you? If you force his hand I think that you will regret it ultimately. He's told you he wants a child, so wait until he's ready for it.

If it's just about you getting what you want when you want it, well, then I say dump him. He'll be better off not being with spoiled, self-centred girl who doesn't respect him enough to wait until he's ready.

Answer 11

you seem really mixed up and a little crazy to me, i looked at the other questions you've posted and first you want a baby then you consider abortions, your fiance sounds like a pig for getting all those women pregent and you guys arent even married yet and you bagging to have his 7th child! thats some jerry springer #@#@#@ to me! get married then have a baby he might not even stick around, he has plenty of seeds he might want to plant in some other chick