I'm having a baby girl this spring. I have three children from a prior marriage; the oldest is also a girl. She's been the only girl for a dozen years, and I don't want her to feel like the new baby girl is "de-throning" her as Princess. I also don't want my boys to feel like they've been replaced, but I'm especially concerned about my daughter.
What are some good ways to keep them involved and reassured that I have room in my heart and home for each of them? Truly, each one is my favorite.
2007-01-17 09:16:03 · 7 answers · asked by Stacey P 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
You didn't say how old your first daughter is, but the way I dealt with the same problem was to let my eldest daughter plan a 'birthday party' for the baby a month after she was born. Also, I let her choose the decor for the baby's room. When my third daughter was born, I let my second daughter do the same thing.
After the baby was born (each time) I let the older one help with baby jobs- get a clean diaper, get a bottle, get a burp rag. In other words, be Mommy's Little Helper. In your case, maybe the boys could help Daddy build something for the nursery, help paint, or pick out new toys for the baby. Your daughter could plan a baby birthday party, help you pack for the trip to the hospital, or even be your 'coach' until things get to be intense in the delivery room- if she's up to it, and depending on her age, of course.
Let each one take a turn feeding baby, with supervision, when you come home. They'll make their own ways to help you. You just have to let them know what's okay and what's not.
2007-01-17 10:12:14 · answer #1 · answered by Kathrine E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister was 5 when I was born, and a very loving aunt passed her this note at the hospital: "Your parents' job is to keep the new baby warm and safe, but she's going to learn EVERYTHING by watching YOU. YOU are going to be her most important teacher in life." The note made a big impact on my sister because 37 years later she still has it, tucked away in her jewelry box.
After the baby is born, try to take one day every couple of weeks to take each of the older kids out individually - just you and one child at a time - to do something THEY want to do. Go to a movie, go get ice cream, walk around the mall, whatever. Just so each of them has an hour or two alone with you. And not all 3 kids at once...you should do it alone with each of them. If the boys are younger there's a cute book called "The New Baby" by Mercer Mayer that they may enjoy.
2007-01-17 09:24:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 31 weeks with baby number six...the best advice I can give is to involve them as much as possible BEFORE the birth...then they may have some of the special attachments to the baby that you develop while you're preg. For example, I took my kids to hear the babys first heartbeat, I took them to the ultrasound, and my eldest daughter (almost 15) I plan on having in the delivery room (she wants to be there). They are very excited now about their new little sister. Good luck!!!
2007-01-17 09:22:28 · answer #3 · answered by Proud Mommy of 6 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let them help you - give them "tasks" when you're changing and feeding the baby. I was worried about my 3 year old when our new baby came, but we keep him involved as much as possible. He pulls out a diaper for me when I need it and holds the pacifier in while I change the baby. We also make sure (especially when baby naps) that we have exclusive one on one time with just him. Him and I go on a "date" once a week and boy does he look forward to that - he tells my husband "you and baby can't come - it's just me and mommy" You'll find your nitch that works for you. Good Luck and Congratulations!!
2007-01-17 09:24:41 · answer #4 · answered by mms1575 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard that giving your children gifts 'from the baby' can help them accept the new baby. Also just including your kids in the baby's life is very important.
All the best with the baby!
2007-01-17 09:26:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a good oppertunity for you to gain lots of help by making your kids feel extra special by giveing them all important little jobs to do for you and the baby for instance my daughters used to love putting cream on my feet and hands after i had my little boy, it helped me relaxe more and was a nice way of getting closer to the girls they loved there little brother they wud help me bath him and felt important when i asked them to keep an eye on him if i was buisy in the kichen they wud tell me if he had woken up, they enjoyed picking out little outfits for him when we went shopping,they liked tidying his cot and covering him i used to let my 12 yr old sometimes push him outside in his pram up and down the street i wud stand on the step and make sure she was ok though, just find things that they may enjoy doing that wud also help you out a bit to, and itl make them feel wanted more and important and grown up, all the bestx
2007-01-17 09:40:32 · answer #6 · answered by porselinedoll66 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let them bring diapers at changing time. let them hold the baby with your hands supporting the baby . tell them that you love them.
2007-01-17 09:26:53 · answer #7 · answered by PRECIANA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋