please help!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

i recently asked a question about getting my son to sleep in his bed. well, im trying one of the methods suggested, putting him in his bed,closing the stairgate and leaving him, then going back 5 mins later, until he goes to sleep. well, my son is really screaming his head off, like REALLY screaming, and getting very hot and making himself cough because hes crying so much. what can i do? he has a teddy and a nightlight for comfort. it makes my heart break

Answer 1

You have to carry on i know its really hard but eventually it will pay off unless you want a screaming child at 6. Its the best thing for both of you. Maybe try and us a DVD or a night time story and remember to expalin to your child what is going on. Given a few months it will pay off and you will be happy that your child will go to bed and sleep without screaming the house down.

Answer 2

If he's that upset it's not worth it. My son is 3 1/2 and I never ever let him "cry it out". Having a consistent bedtime ritual is important. I also spend about 1/2 hour every night in his room, reading a book with a flashlight, singing songs, giving a backrub. I always tell him "good night, I love you, I'll see you in the morning" and occasionally throw in something about how proud I am of him, how I think he's such a great kid, how if he needs me I'm right in the other room. You didn't say how old your son is, but if he's around 3 you could point out that you're not really going anywhere, you're just in the next room, and you can hear him on the baby monitor if he needs you, etc. I think sometimes they think when you leave their room then they're all alone when really you may just be 20 feet away. Don't let him "cry it out"...he's only been on this planet for a few years and it can be a scary place! I remember spending some evenings when my boy was younger sitting on the floor of his room, singing the same damn song over and over, for an hour until he fell asleep. But he wasn't screaming, and while it was a pain at the time it didn't last for long. I am a firm disbeliever in letting children cry it out until they give up all hope and just fall asleep.

Answer 3

It IS heartbreaking! I know what you mean!! Some kids just have more will than others and it may take you up to 2 weeks to get him to realize that you mean business. Keep doing what you're doing. But you can also modify it by waiting 5 min, then 15, then 20, then 30. When you go in, make it very brief-just reposition him in bed, no talking, no lights and have your poker face on(meaning no emotion). You can fall apart downstairs!!! It is going to be awful and terrible, but you're teaching him a lot of things like 1)you're the boss and 2)how to comfort himself which he'll need that skill all his life. Good luck!

Answer 4

We use classics for babies cd . set fo an hour. our little one is off with the fairies after 5 mins. It wasn't always like that.
Many sleepless nights. Tried the 'leave them to cry' technique with some success.
During the last bout of bad nights when our little one wouldn'y settle, I would lay her back down in her cot - no eye contact - no words - just a gentle sshhh sound. One night I did this 30 times in the space of an hour. She got the message. Now if she cries out, all we have to do is to 'sshhh' her from her bedroom door, from the bottom of the stairs or, even from bed.
Once she knows we are there, she settles right down.
Your little one probably screams for you because he thinks you are gone and not coming back.
Be strong. it is hard but it will get better.

Answer 5

You are his mother, and you are programmed to run to him everytime he cries. That's why it is like physical pain, otherwise we would just abandon our young and the species would die out. A healthy child CAN NOT hurt themselves crying, even if he keeps it up for hours. If you go to him, you are teaching him, if he cries, you will come running. If you leave him when he is in bed, in a few days he will learn that he might as well not bother, because mummy won't be coming. Crying for half an hour should knock him out anyway.
As long as he knows you are there, he will be fine. Reassure him from the outside of the stair gate, but no eye contact, and no speech, you being there should calm him. Then lessen the amount of time you stand there every night until you can just walk away.
This is a really hard thing to do, but get headphones and don't look at him. I know your heart will be tearing but that's just what you are programmed as his mother to feel, he will be fine. Good luck.

Answer 6

If you give in now he will learn if he screams long enough he will get what he wants. Its really hard, I know ive been there!!!!!! If you find it is really too distressing you could give it another 20mins or so & go & say something like 'mummy is only downstairs, Im not far away but you need to be a good boy for mummy & go to sleep like a big boy'. Just something to give him reassurance really but DONT whatever you do give in completely & let him downstairs or into your bed or whatever. Good luck, persevere & it will work out in the end

Answer 7

Put some ear muffs on! Ride through this time it will last for maybe a week and he will settle. If you feel a short cuddle will help, give him a cuddle and return him to bed with no talking/eye contact. Very hard time, been there and done it. Give yourself a pat on the back cause you are doing the right thing. Speak to your health visitor she will probably suggest same. Good luck.

Answer 8

you are doing the right thing by letting him cry if you don't do it now it will only get worse i no i gave in to my little girl until it got to the point where she was sleeping in my bed in the end enough was enough and we started over again it did not happen over night but within 2/3 weeks she was going down to sleep with out a problem but for it to work you have got to stick with it. Good luck

Answer 9

I have been where you are. I have a 3yr old son as of next week. He would scream to the top of his lungs also. You just have to be the strong one. I say put him in the bed & check on him about every 3-5min to make sure he is ok. Don't say anything to him when you check on him.

But just be strong and it will pay off in the long run. Keep It Up!!!!

Answer 10

I really feel for you its the most horrible feeling in the world, and one that makes us feel that dreaded parental guilt that we're programmed to feel.
Gradually build your time up starting from 2 minutes leaving him then a minute more each time. If you keep this up for a few days he will get the hang of it.
Maybe implement a trusty rewards chart as well, a sticker for every night he goes to sleep with no fuss but really i think once he does it once he'll do it all the time.
I know its heartbreaking but keep it up, it will benefit both of you in the long run.