Today is my birthday, my mom calls me up and says that for dinner tonight, she wants to take my husband and I out for supper. She tells me to decide where I want to go and then call her back. I call her back and tell her I can't decide between Chili's or Olive Garden, and she says "You eat at those places all the time, why don't we go to Sullivans?" I say, no it's too expensive and I don't want you to pay $50+ / person for food. She says we are eating there and that is that...but hey, if you don't want to, it's your birthday, but I just thought it'd be nice to treat you to something...so anyway, since she's throwing a fit , I guess we'll be going but I know I will feel bad about it being so expensive and I won't even be able to enjoy my meal, plus I don't want to get all fancied up to go out tonight, I'd rather just sit around with some beer and pizza, anyway..what can I do?
23rd bday
2007-01-17 08:19:15 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I know she's just trying to show her love for me, but I don't think she realizes that expensive restaurants aren't that important to me, I'd be just as happy w/taco bell, mcdonalds or anything, as long as my family was with me
2007-01-17 08:31:47 · update #1
I'm not going to read the other answers, but I will tell you this---my daughter wanted to invite some of my old co-workers and friends to her house for a birthday party for me. I told her I didn't want her to go to all that trouble, too much work, etc. Well, she was very hurt! She was doing it because she wanted to and I felt terrible!
So go where your mom suggested! She is doing it because she wants it to be special for you. And since she is paying for it, she must feel she can afford it. Go and have a good time! Be glad she loves you and wants to do it.
You can have beer and pizza any time, but you won't always have your mom around!
Happy Birthday!
2007-01-17 22:55:27 · answer #1 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you have two options, you could think about the fact that she is paying and not you. Consider it a gift and go, it's nice to splurge every once in a blue moon. On the other hand, if the money is really bothering you then tell her how you feel and I am sure she will understand. But I agree with you it is hard to enjoy a meal knowing that it costs that much, my family did the same thing for this past Father's day and vowed never to do it again. The food wasn't even as great as some of the other restaurants we go to such as Applebee's and Olive Garden. I went to the Olive Garden recently, for the first time, to celebrate my 21st birthday. I love that place, they have good service and food. Anyway, Happy Birthday!
2007-01-17 08:38:47 · answer #2 · answered by lil_bit 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, you are a considerate daughter, but you made your point about going the more moderate route, (Chili's or Olive Garden)and she said she still wants to go to the more expensive place. So- take it at face value- that she's more than willing and able to spend the extra $$, and don't worry about it. Just enjoy her company, the good food, and have a good time and relax. I understand about not wanting to get all dressed up, but if you're bummed about it you WON"T have a good time, so just go with the flow and you might very well have a great time. Happy BDAY.
2007-01-17 08:37:14 · answer #3 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can empathize with you. True, your mother does indeed think she is doing something special for you by taking you to a fancy restaurant. But, it is your birthday. If what you really want is beer and pizza, then that will mean a lot more to you than an expensive, black-tie evening would(plus no worrying about getting food on your favorite dress). If I were you, I would sit her down and explain to her what it is you really want, and how much it would mean to you. Any flack your mother has to offer from this point on is due to her feeling rejected, but you can tell her how she herself might enjoy a night out on the town for her birthday someday. Good luck tonight.
2007-01-17 10:00:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I have a mom like this and I'm 46. You have to realize a few things. #1 she THINKS she's doing the right thing. #2 they do it for you and they do not care about the $$. So I would suggest one of two courses of action:
#1 - "Mom I really appreciate your offer. I was wondering since I'm kind of tired tonight and do not feel like dressing up or going out, could we maybe do it this weekend (or next week)"? Thank you so much for the thought.
#2 - Bite the bullet, go, have a good time knowing mom loves you and spend the weekend with pizza and beer.
In either case - HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUN
2007-01-17 08:35:30 · answer #5 · answered by Mickey 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This might be a chance for HER to enjoy a nice meal out with her family too... perhaps it isn't fair to use your birthday as an excuse, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. If she offered, she obviously feels she can afford this meal. Don't worry about the cost, just enjoy it. If you are truly violently opposed to this, then tell her that you'd really rather keep it casual at Chili's.
2007-01-17 08:40:41 · answer #6 · answered by Goose&Tonic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I have to say, I am appalled at some of the self-centered answers I see here in the ettiquette section! Good manners is about making other people feel comfortable, whether it is a holiday, your birthday or just an ordinary day. Ettiquette does NOT give you the right to have your own way just because its your birthday.
If your mom wants to take you out to a specific restaurant, she should say so in the first place. If she wants you to choose, she should go with your choice. She is out of line for asking first and then throwing a fit cuz she didn't get the answer she wanted.
You are showing your good manners by being sensitive to her feelings, but I don't think you are obligated to accept her invitation.
I like the answer that said to tell her thank you, but tonight, you don't feel like dressing up to go out, and if she'd like to take you and your husband out, you are free on the weekend.
2007-01-17 08:47:34 · answer #7 · answered by not yet 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Call your mom back and tell her you really just want to stay home with the husband and have beer and pizza. But maybe she could take you guys out this weekend? Emphasize that you don't want to have to have all that money spent, but if your mom really wants to treat you to a fancy meal, then let her. Why not?? I mean, how often do we get to go out with our husbands, dressed up and have someone else pay for us? Enjoy it now while 1) you have your mom nearby to do this, 2)you don't have kids to pay for a sitter for, and 3) you still look really good in a little black dress. LOL.
Also, just remind yourself that your mom is doing this because she loves you very much and wants to make your day special. Accept it graciously and have fun.
2007-01-17 08:27:10 · answer #8 · answered by sleepyfrog76 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I am inclined to agree with you on the idea that you should get to do what you want for your birthday. However, consider this: someday, and in truth, you never know when, you will want more than anything to have more time with your mother.
My mother is quite old and it troubles me greatly that she clearly doesn't have much more time. Even though it isn't quite what you had in mind, let your mother feel good about herself and throw you a fancy shindig. It might not mean much to you now, but someday, you will treasure the memory.
2007-01-17 08:33:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
HONEY... that is what being a mom is all about annoying the heck out of the children that caused you years of trouble.... one day you will do it too..
Just do it.. throw here a bone. Later when she is not on earth anymore you will long to spend time with her so for now go get dressed up and tomorrow relax w/ hubby on couch w/ beer... lol
2007-01-17 08:38:50 · answer #10 · answered by Mystic Bell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋