my bf wants me to help him pursue his fantasies by having a threesome with me him & the girl of my choice
Should I or Should I Not
We're really in love & he's planning on marrying me
2007-01-17 08:14:03 · 12 answers · asked by Da #1 Chick 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You absolutely have a say in this. If you want to try it and think you will enjoy it, then go ahead. But if you are not sure, or just don't want to, then don't force yourself to do anything you don't like. It is that simple.
Bottomline, he only has 50% voting power. You have the other 50%. Be honest to yourself.
2007-01-17 08:17:03 · answer #1 · answered by Lyon D. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's up to you. If this is something you too fantasize about then it is something you could pursue. If it's not, if the idea doesn't turn you on, then he should respect that.
Also, if you ARE open to giving him HIS fantasy, how would he feel if you had a MFM fantasy. Would he do it? Would he help you fulfill YOUR fantasy? If the answer is "no" than his motives may be selfish and therefore you'd be doing this for the wrong reason.
As much as you may not be ready for it, he also may not be ready for the reality of it.
Swinging is a two way street. It has to be on an equal playing field with both people in the relationship. If it's not, than it just won't work. And yes, a threesome is 'swinging'. Swinging is defined as when a married or otherwise committed couple engages in sex with other couples and singles. Which is what you are talking about doing. You are a couple inviting a single into your bed.
My wife and I have been in the swinging lifestyle for several years and have seen situations where the couple only plays with other females in FMF threesomes, and the husband won't let another man near his wife. Eventually, the wife begins to feel left out of the the total fun her husband is having, begins to get resentful of him, then they just drop-out all together.
Like I said, it has to be a two way street. Swinging is THE MOST UNSELFISH thing you can do. You are sharing the thing that means most to you in this world - your spouse - with other people, for your spouse's enjoyment and benefit. From knowing this, from this 'setting your loved-one free' to be and express themselves sexually, you also get the benefit of feeling good about yourself. You feel good about them feeling good.
If this isn't the case, than you need to think about it more before you do it. Or wade in more slowly, like with soft-swapping (everything but actual intercourse with the other person(s) ).
Most of all, you both need to sit down and openly talk about it. Talk about why he wants to do it and why you want to or don't want to. Talk about what you both will get from it and how it will benefit you as a couple. Talk, talk, talk. Then talk some more. When both of you are on the same page and comfortable with it, then you'll have a great experience. If you are not, expect trouble.
And if you don't want to do it, then don't. You should never coerce or manipulate someone into doing something they don't want to do. This means everything in a relationship, not just sex. If you do they will eventually resent you for it.
And contrary to some's beliefs (as exhibited here), we can swing because we do love each other so much. There is no jealousy. There is no unsureness in our relationship that we are 'it' for each other. We know we are. We know that no other sex organ on anybody else is going to take one of us away from the other. Swinging is an adventure we do together.
For some good information about this, check-out The Swingers Board http://www.swingersboard.com . There is lots of discussions going on there about all sorts of issues, both good and bad, regarding opening-up your relationship to sex with others.
2007-01-18 11:53:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT DO THIS IF YOU ARE IN LOVE AND PLAN ON MARRYING THIS MAN.
All I've ever heard is that this type of action ends a relationship, whether or not you think it will. It will definitely change the dynamic and I would be VERY VERY careful before doing this.
What type of man are you marrying who wants you to have threesomes??? I would never ever ask my fiancee to do this as all I want is her. I would reevaluate this guy and his long term viability. It sounds like he is trying to force something on you that you are not comfortable with. Why else would you be asking yahoo answers? That is not acceptable in a healthy loving relationship
2007-01-17 16:19:53 · answer #3 · answered by Jay 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your planning to get married, and he already wants to try a threesome?! What will he want after a few years of marriage? Think with your head and not your heart here!
2007-01-17 16:22:40 · answer #4 · answered by Bryan 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well you know - nothing says "I love and respect you" more than making you bring another girl into the bedroom, especially when you aren't sure about it.
Yessirree, nothing says "I want you to be my wedded wife" like making you munch another girl's rug while he bangs her from behind.
Yup, nothing says "I have complete respect for you" like making you watch another girl go down on him.
Seeing the pattern here?
2007-01-17 16:32:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yeah right he is planning on marrying you...if he really loved you he wouldn't ask you to do this. Should you do it? That is up to you...are you a door mat? Do you not mind having your "boyfriend" USE you?
2007-01-17 16:18:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You only do it if you want to not because he does. If it was me I would say no way Jose lol
2007-01-17 16:17:05 · answer #7 · answered by ♥♥♥ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should think this over because you may think you want to do it and find yourself being pissed off when he is with the other person.
2007-01-17 16:18:10 · answer #8 · answered by EmmaNicole 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
some people say they love u just to do it with u. be sure to know his priorities before you do anything.
2007-01-17 16:27:27 · answer #9 · answered by nicole 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not a good idea!
2007-01-17 16:17:03 · answer #10 · answered by frieburger 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋