My neice is 16, almost 17 in a couple more days. She has a 26 year old bf. They seem to like each other and her parents are ok with it. I am being a nosy aunt ad am concerned about the age difference. I know that in 30 years the difference won't be that great, or at least that's what they argue.
2007-01-17 08:10:50 · 54 answers · asked by Shanti 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is actually 24 and not 26.
2007-01-17 08:19:28 · update #1
Well are you sure you know what age they really are? hahaha The guy probably just wants a hook up and younger girls are easier to manipulate...I doubt he is in love with her...the only things you can do is wait and watch the waterworks.
2007-01-17 08:13:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Actually what you should be asking is should a 24 or 26 year old man be dating a 16 almost 17 year old girl?It seems to me if asked in that light it puts the responsibility of the issue on the ONLY adult in the relationship.You'd think a grown man would know better....
When a young woman is with a grown man the situations,choices,and issues can be way more intense and happening way too soon in her life...Sure she'd be facing peer pressure from BOYS her own age but imagine what it would be like from a grown man with way more experience his know how and knowledge of how to manipulate situations to his benefit are down right scarey and something her parents are obviously not taking into account.Just because he's an ADULT doesn't mean he will be a gentleman about things and doesn't mean he'll be responsible about things...Then again he just might be.
In my opinion though his experience in and with life far outweighs her's.If it were my daughter no way in Hell would her Daddy&I ignore the age difference and experience difference.Age ain't nothing but a number I am well aware of that however you can't put a number on experience its something you have or don't...She's 16 going on 17 she may have a small amount of experience with life but not half as much as he does.I'd be worried about what lessons she's learning too soon for her heart and mind...
You're not being a nosey Aunt you're being a reasonable,sensible,and down right concerned Aunt.Where is the wrong in that? You're doing all the parental worrying more so than the parents so in this Auntie you are in the right.
Blessed Be,
M.G
2007-01-17 08:28:22 · answer #2 · answered by Malia G 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well thats kinda touchy. I am 22 and my girl is 26. At times it can get a bit confussing. but you have to realize that a 17 year old is still a teen, be she mature or not. The guy is 26, and when your 26 you need to be dating someone your own age. I'm kind of concerned that her parents are ok with it. She still has allot growing up to do. I myself thought about dating someone who was 17, but I thought twice becuase I didn't want to sell that person short and complicate her life with a grown up relationship. True it may not matter 30 years from now, but its not 30 years from now. If he was 20, I would let it slide but thats almost 10 years. And I don't really think she is ready to give up her life for this dude. Hope this helps. Thanks.
2007-01-17 08:18:12 · answer #3 · answered by Tyler C 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Absolutely not! If he's 26 his body parts are racing a little faster than hers, and 17 is just something for a 26 year old to play with. So no matter what his intentions feel like to her or look like to you, they won't last long, the feelings or the relationship... She will be the most hurt from the whole ordeal, because she's so young, but she'll get over it.
Hopefully she'll leave him without any mishaps or complecations. One sure way to tell if he's sincere is to tell him he can only see her at the house with supervision... See if he's not outta there faster than a pickpocket in time square.
Besides depending on what State, if he slept with her it would be statutory rape.
There are no positives in this situation.
2007-01-17 08:26:58 · answer #4 · answered by bnnychains 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well there is a problem when a 26 year old can't find anyone his own age to date. When i was 16 i dated a 21 year old and i thought that was bad. But 9 or ten years apart. Im 22 now and have lots of male friends who are 25-28 if any of them dated a teenager we would not let them life that down because that is just wrong. If you can't find someone around your own age to date, then you are a loser, or you are looking for someone to control and get pregnant, thats what my ex wanted, thats probably what this 26 year old wants. It's not normal.
2007-01-17 08:18:34 · answer #5 · answered by Ridin' Dirty 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would not want my teenager dating a 26 year old.
However, I met my husband when I was 20 and he was 27. We were both in college. There is just a ton of maturing that happens between age 17 in high school and age 19 or 20 in college....
It also depends on how the girl was raised. As you said, her parents are not concerned, so they must feel the man is honorable. Let's just hope they have educated their daughter and provided her with appropriate birth control.
2007-01-17 08:17:31 · answer #6 · answered by not yet 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Statutory Rape laws are different in every state. In North Carolina, the age is 16 and you must be over 2 years older. So legally it may or may not be an issue. Emotionally it is an issue, unless they are a very rare case, they are thinking on two different planes and are at two totally different places in their lives. She's still in High School, he's been in the workforce for at least a few years (unless he's a doctorate student...or an idiot). If it were my kid, I would seriously advise them against it.
2007-01-17 08:17:38 · answer #7 · answered by yhwhlivesinme 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Their ain't nothing wrong with that Oh all of the Sudden she's 18 and its so much better I don't buy into all that political correct crap. Sex is sex a penis is a penis whats the difference at least a 24 26 year old might be able to pay for a babe if they had one. Back in the old days pre 1900's woman would marry at 14 15 and it was fine why all of the sudden is it so bad now. As long as she's not like 12 or 13 or something or being bullied by him, its OK in my head.
2007-01-17 08:19:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
It is your neice's choice at the end of the day, and aslong as her bf isn't hurting or treat her badly, then it sounds ok. If they really like each other then it doesn't matter as much what age they are, especially as she is almost 17 and can start to think herself. Trust your neice, because if going out with a 24 year old makes her happy, then isn't that what's important? I hope you resolve the issue soon and that my advice has helped xx
2007-01-17 08:16:17 · answer #9 · answered by A 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
mmm...yea it depends on the situation...where did she meet him? My cousin was 15 going out with a 23 year old. When her parents found out, it was pretty ugly. The problem was that she had never seen him in person, only talked on the phone and stuff. I had a problem only because that was kinda hard to deal with. If she KNOWS him in person and the family has met him, then why not?! I agree with your concern, but if you really get to know the situation and the guy, i'm sure you'll feel a lot better about it! Take care
2007-01-17 08:13:54 · answer #10 · answered by lil_bit_a_evrythang 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is true that in 30 years the age difference will not be that great but has he considered the fact that she is not legal if things go badly? If he gets her pregnant, he will be listed as a sexuall offender for life. Something else to think about. When she is 18, it is all good, but in the mean time, it is not wise for the relationship to proceed too far.
2007-01-17 08:17:30 · answer #11 · answered by daddyspanksalot 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋