I wonder what guys think about this. Assume that you have a girl friend that you don't have feelings for at first. And meanwhile one of your "good" friends likes her but the girl doesn't like him. And as time passes, you start to have feelings (strong too!) to this girl too, but you still have that other friend who always talks about how much he likes her. Now, would you just go after your feelings or keep silent about it in order not to hurt your friend?
Yes, I'm one of these imaginary people in this story, and I'd like to know what you guys would do if you were in this situation.
2007-01-17 07:53:27 · 14 answers · asked by Earthling 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Uhh . . . no question. I'd date her in a second. Call me heartless if you must.
2007-01-17 07:57:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
In general, people say you can end up permanently in the 'friend zone'. In reality, I think that interactions between people are too varied to be able to categorically say that one particular approach will lead to one particular result. To answer your question, I wouldn't say that I normally try to be a girl's friend before dating. The reason being that when you first meet someone, you either are interested in dating them, or you're not. This leads the person into acting in a certain way (either to try and become a friend, or otherwise a date). However, that is not to say that people can't be interested in dating each other only after getting to know more about one another. In that case then being friends first could come before dating, but this usually isn't pre-meditated.
2016-05-24 00:59:02 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To men friendship and loyalty is a major concern, an overpowering one that can mean more than life itself.
With that said, "All is fair in love or war." When a guy makes a "move" on another man's girl that is called poaching and is very much frowned upon. However, if the friend hasn't gotten anywhere with that girl then she is still considered to be "fair game," available to anyone who can woo her.
Often in this kind of situation the man will ask his friend before he makes a move. This is considered the polite thing to do and if the friend says yes then he has told the guy that he can try to date her. If his friend says no, then the guy will wait a decent interval before pursuing her. That "decent interval" varies with the man's ego, the strength of their friendship, and their feelings for the girl.
However, if a man loves a woman then he will go after her no matter what!
So what advice can I give you? Decide for yourself which guy you want to go out with and pursuing him. You should confront both boys at the same time and tell them which one you want to go out with and which one you want to remain your friend. If they can’t solve the problem then you need to. It may damage your relationship with the other boy, but it should keep the friendship between the two boys strong and BOTH of them will appreciate it.
2007-01-17 08:08:29 · answer #3 · answered by Dan S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first things first..........i've been through this stroy first hand on the outside. I had 3 friends 2 guys and a girl. One of the guys was HEAD over heels over this girl she liked him too but he was too chicken ask her out he just wanted to work with her. AND when we would all hang out he treated her like dirt. My roomate began to develop feelings for her and told the other guy. If you don't make a move on her i will that simple. He gave him 4 months to ask her out on a date. JUST a date and he'd back off the other guy didn't. So My roomate asked her out they started dating. there were hard feelings at the onset of their relationship but we all quickly got over it(i was the poor sucker in the middle having to hear all 3 sides of the story and offer non biased advice to all) after everythign was patched up it all worked out. But basically if your friend has feelings for someone and they aren't making a move on them it's fair game. Just tell them that you have feelings for them and if no move is made you're gonna make your move.
2007-01-17 07:59:45 · answer #4 · answered by ag2588101 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd let him know straight out that I like her as well but if you aren't going to do anything about I well.Since we both like her I'd say too him in a nice confident way not rude
2007-01-17 07:57:09 · answer #5 · answered by tino 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personaly I would never hurt my friend. I wouldn't even bring it up to him, I wouldn't ask him if he cared. Never. If youhave a good friend you know there a friend. When youhave feelings for a girl youdon't ever know how it will work out. I wouldn't take the chance. Be loyal
2007-01-17 07:57:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
well that happen to me and i had felling for a girl that my friend wanted to get with. but he ask me before he tried
2007-01-17 07:57:26 · answer #7 · answered by DATRUTH 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
man up and so to my friend "looks like we both want to head down the same path (you)...let's talk to .....(insert your name here) and see what she thinks...you should make it obvious which one you prefer...if you like them equal say so and date both till u can decide....
2007-01-17 07:57:48 · answer #8 · answered by Tikcus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go for it
or give your friend a certain amount of time to ask her out
if she doesnt like him then it doesnt matter that he likes her, nothing is happening
2007-01-17 07:57:30 · answer #9 · answered by brainiac 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guy code. You don't ***** with a girl your boy likes. It's a loyalty thing.
2007-01-17 07:56:44 · answer #10 · answered by zetser 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋