I have been with my guy for 4 1/2 yrs. lots of high's and low's. He is not perfect nor am I. I want everyone at my wedding someday soon. Should their support be my greatest concern?
2007-01-17 07:51:19 · 17 answers · asked by Miss Mary 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It should not be your greatest concern.
However, your family knows you well, and you need to seriously consider their objections. You don't need to do what they want, but they probably have your best interests at heart.
Think about what they have to say, and then make up your own mind. If they love you, they will be at your wedding.
.
2007-01-17 07:58:33 · answer #1 · answered by FozzieBear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The answer depends upon several things. I am going to be guessing at some of the details. In the United States or similar culture, you are an adult, basically Christian model for ethics and morals.
Based upon these assumptions, it is preferred that your family approve of your fiance. It is not at all required that they approve. As long as no one is trying to pick a fight over the wedding, you should not be concerned. If there is a fight brewing, you should be concerned for your welfare and not those of the opponents. Hopefully you have considered your options and decisions with appropriate rigor and care. 4 and 1/2 years should be enough for an informed decision. Good luck!
2007-01-17 16:03:42 · answer #2 · answered by Jack 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an important reason why it is not a good idea to air out your relationship grievances with family members... I have had the problem in the past where id discuss relationship issues with family and this clearly gives them a very negative view if yur relationsip, naturally u dont go around telling them all the good things so they assume that all their is is bad stuff... I gotta tell you that in the end it is you getting married to this man not your family, and for the future dont discuss relationship problems with anyone but your partner (or maybe a friend)
2007-01-17 16:00:59 · answer #3 · answered by Panda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if people see that you are happy, they will come around and grow to love your man as a part of your family. But planning a wedding should be fun- if your family or friends can't support you- remember it is not about them- this is your special day with the one you love!! Everyone will come around, have faith and give it some time.
2007-01-17 16:02:40 · answer #4 · answered by ryanshope 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It should be A concern, not the greatest. They, as your parents and family members, have known you the longest and best. Parents especially are wiser for a reason - to help guide you along to what is best for you. For example, if I were your parent and you have been dating a guy this long without marriage, I would encourage you to leave him and get on with your life.... to not waste time... but that's just me, thinking as a mom.
2007-01-17 17:42:41 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your personal happiness and the happineess of the relationship is paramount over what your family thinks. Your an adult, and you are the one who will be getting married, not your family. However, familal happiness is also important for a successful marriage. You should try to make their support a part of a healthy marriage.
2007-01-17 15:59:48 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its taken a long time for my family to come around to my husband: just recently as a matter of fact. I think that if your family loves you, like i'm sure they do, they will undersatand that its your decision and be there to support you; know matter what. In time they should learn to love them as you have. What matters most is your feelings about your situation, and hope that everything else workes itself out.
2007-01-17 16:01:42 · answer #7 · answered by Sativa602 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its about you and him. If ur familys support means that much and ur in doubt, then Elope! you should expect their support no matter what (unless he has done something delibrately to offend or hurt ur family). If you invite 'Everyone' to your wedding and they dont support you, trust me they wont show up an then you'll know who really is ur friend. Go for it. Be happy =)
2007-01-17 18:03:31 · answer #8 · answered by WomanSoHeartless 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are happy with him and he is happy with you than yes your parents should support the both of you. parents have a certain scent for their childs happiness. i was with my ex for 4 1/2 years as well and thought i was happy but deep down inside i wasn't happy. i was working 3 jobs while he was only working one. at the end of our relationship i would think day in and day out what really makes me happy and what didn't make me happy. at the end i realized that he was a waiste of my time. in the meantime i had family and friends disagreeing with my relationship and always told me that i can do better, alot better. i finally pushed myself away from all the anger and hurt that was built up in those 4 1/2 years. yes it was really difficult but i did it. now im sitting here happier than happy can get. im now married to a man who actually treats me like a real woman and to me he is perfect. now i pass my advice to others who maybe going thru the same situation that i did. maybe your parents are trying to tell you something and you don't care because you are blind just like i was and dont see what is really the truth. you need to look deep down inside into your heart and sole and figure out what it is you really want in life. maybe he is treating you like a doormat that he can just walk all over and you can't see it cause you think your in love and its okay. you need to ask yourself all kinds of questions. does he make me happy or sad? do i want to live like this forever? does he actually make me feel like a woman? does he treat me like as if he would treat his male friends? what do i actually want in life? will i reach the goals that i want to reach by staying with this guy? there many other questions that you can ask yourself. i just gave you a few of the ones that i aked myself when i was in that relationship. you need to take it upon yourself to decide what it is you really want. so you could take the advice me, your friends, or family gave you and use it or don't use it. just don't do what i did and waiste your time. everything happens for a reason. always remember that there are people out there that don't want to see you hurt in the long run espcecially your mom and dad.
2007-01-17 17:04:58 · answer #9 · answered by thurstonmegan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No... HIS support should be your greatest concern. While it's desirable that everyone approves of everyone, it's not necessarily a pre-requisite.
2007-01-17 16:10:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋