Do you unschool?

Question

My completely irrational parents refuse to consider the idea, but can't give an argument that I haven't countered. I've given them websites to look at--I don't think they bothered--and on those websites were answers to all of their (stated) concerns. If you've had success with unschooling, please tell me so I can tell them.

--8th grade, New Jersey

Thanks for your answers so far, everyone. Now I'm just wondering, is anyone/does anyone have a parent that wasn't receptive to the idea at all, but changed their mind? How come?

Answer 1

I have had tremendous success with unschooling, and I've been doing it for five years.

When I left school, I was depressed all the time, couldn't sleep, was stressed out constantly, and more importantly starting to develop an aversion to things like books.

Now I'm 14, and I'm way, way above grade level in all subjects except for math, which I'm at the standard level for. I'm happy, well-adjusted, and getting through the teenager thing okay.

On another note, if you are already in school and want to unschool, you might -probably will, actually- have to go through a period of school-at-home until your parents realize you won't die. Then slowly wean on to unschooling. It's slow and it sucks but your parents will realize that you'll be okay.

The biggest hurdle for an unschooling parent is trust. Trusting your kid to prepare himself for the life he's going to lead, trusting him to make good decisions, trusting that he'll be okay even though he's fifteen and "behind the curve." That's actually the biggest problem: when people homeschool their kids so they can learn at their own pace and then yell at the kid when their own pace isn't miles ahead of the (arbitrarily created) bell curve.

Answer 2

Let me say this:

As long as you perceive your parents as being irrational, they WILL be irrational. When we enter into something with an already negative view of the other person, it affects how we come across as well as our own willingness to listen. Ultimately, they are not considering the idea due to how they feel about it, so you need to address their feelings--and also be very clear about your own.

Now, this may sound like the strangest thing to suggest, but just hear me out: find the book "Nonviolent Communication" by Marshall Rosenberg. This book has great strategies in clearly expressing ones own feelings as well as really listening to what the other has to say. It might help you end up unschooling or it might not, but it will help you have a better understanding with your parents.

If it doesn't work out, just make sure to follow the principles of unschooling during your free time.

Answer 3

Look at www.sandradodd.com . I don't know how ot help you argue with them, but there are hundreds of unschooling families and blogs at the above website. I wish you luck.

I unschool my kids, but they are all younger than you are. Under that, my son learned algebra at 11yo, my five yo learned to read, and my other children have blossomed and can now kick my pants at Trivial Pursuit.

Answer 4

fancyname, you could at least attempt to Google a subject about which you clearly know nothing before answering a question on that topic.

Jeff: rather then referring your parents to third party resources, reassure them by communicating to them those things that you are interested in learning about, and how you would go about that.
perhaps you could agree to spend a portion - half, or three quarters - of your time on more structured learning. some school systems at the junior high or HS level let homeschooling take some classes at public school and other topics at home. if this is an option, you could take your maths, science and/or language arts classes at school, and be home pursuing your own interests part time.
perhaps your parents would be willing to consider a compromise of this sort.

Answer 5

They will spend alot more quality time with you. I am sure that is one of the benefits you are looking forward to.

Answer 6

I homeschool my 3 girls and they love it. I love spending the time with them. Public schools are dangerous and immoral.

Answer 7

To school someone is to teach them something, to unschool would be to erase knowledge, which is much harder. Something that is learned or already in your usable memory is in there for a long term. You also need to replace that incorrect knowledge with correct knowledge. Its not something to be done at the hands of amateurs. If you are talking about non-standard schooling as in homeschooling or "Life lesson" learning your parents are probably concerned that a non standard education will stop you in your future. Yes, there are success stories, but there are also failure stories.