guys shes in pakistan i got married and we all live together and its her house and her only son she keeps beyatching about how i took her son away when in fact shes the one who hooked us up and was in a rush for us to get married, and yes he believes her cuz she cries so much she looks like shes about to pass out how can i TOP that DRAMA??????? i tried crying as her but it didnt work he was like stop ur drama. do u believe this crap?
2007-01-17 07:27:51 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Be polite and ignore her. Save your money and move the hell out. Also remind your husband he married you and sleeps in your bed. Divorce can be arranged very easily.
2007-01-17 07:31:46 · answer #1 · answered by jaws1013 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Top or Stop Drama?
Living together with the other set of family is sometimes not easy. Yet, topping the drama can't work in my view.
Facts are that she is his mom, and you two live as a couple in her house.
Solutions I would suggest.
1) Talk to your husband about your concerns, tell him that you love him (if so). Tell him that you are thankful that your mom took both of you in. Asked him to help you meet his, her and your needs so that you all can be happy. Have calm, daily, brief family conferences where everyone states what they want and need and also what they want to share and give. No blame, just statements like, "When you do/say, I feel like this..." "I would appreciate if you could..." You may want to get counseling if this does not help.
2) You may want to praise your in-law-mom for all the good she has done, every day, every day! Praise her, praise her, praise her! Thank her that you can live in her beautiful home. Use different words, but you want to mention it every day! Moms often feel unneeded when the kids are grown and some like to be needed. You may see her respond positively and get more energy and feel good about herself and do even more for you and your husband. It may be a new ball game. Have patience with relapses, though! They will happen but likely less and less often as time goes on.
3) You may want to set up a time you have alone with your husband, when she cannot disturb you with anything; and a time when you visit with her, be it at meals, for an afternoon tea, or doing something she likes, may be bowling, shopping, hiking or something else she likes. You may want to ask her. You and your husband could asked her out to her favorite restaurant, may be once a week or once a month, later to some nice and new spots, even to a mountain, lake etc., may be for a picknick. It does not have to be expensive. Show her that you appreciate her!
4) More drama would drive your husband away and would not help the situation. You may also work with Bachflowers, which greatly help in emotional cases in my experience, taken over some time. You can get a book on the use of Bachflowers and even take the ones she would need yourself. She will get the energy from you. You may also want to take the ones you need.
5) You may try one suggestions or combine several. If all of this does not work, you and your husband may want to move out, and be it living in a small studio if money is the issue.
I feel the key here to a better life for all three of you is you. Be the peacemaker. I feel that about anyone can live with anyone if they want to, yet, should your mom-in-law choose to go on with drama despite of loving efforts and respect, then you and your husband may be better off on your own.
Wishing all of you a loving and peaceful life!
Cordially, India.Magica
2007-01-17 07:58:37 · answer #2 · answered by india.magica 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been there. He didn't want us to move away and live our lives, which is the only thing I could think of to help our marriage. There was nothing I could do to convince him. We even had a daughter. My ex mother-in-law was a horrible mother for doing that to us. Later on in life, he told me he should of stayed with me and my ex mother-in-law told me the same thing. After I left, he wound up getting stuck with someone they all really hate, him, his mom and his sisters. Serves them right. It's too bad though because my daughter suffered because of it, being without her dad and all. I can't say I'm not a happier person for getting out of that marriage, I am sooooo happy and now I'm with the man of my dreams. Hang in there. Don't point fingers or blame, just calmly and rationally suggest that you two get away and live your lives. Hopefully, if you show him you're really trying, he'll side with you. Good luck!
2016-03-29 01:56:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
once a mommas boy always a mommas boy,you have to put your foot down and tell him that if he can't stand up to his momma and make her stop all of the drama then you just might have to leave him,because you can't take any more.if that works you and your husband have to get out of her house and find your own place to live ,because as long as you stay there nothing will change,the two of you have become independent,and show his mom how much you you love her son,and how happy you make him.
2007-01-17 07:40:19 · answer #4 · answered by sassie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tape record or film the halfwit in action. i did. my husband after 8 years finally grew a backbone and told the stupid old bat that she was nothing but a vindictive and selfish cow. needless to say im now the apple of her eye and i use every opportunity to remind her of her mistakes lol. some people may think im being nasty but this cow set social services on me claiming i hit my son and my husband was livid. she also cancelled my wedding reception 3 days before i got married.
2007-01-18 12:55:45 · answer #5 · answered by misspiggy231180 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Completely ignore her, do not even knowledge that she exists. Physically avoid her as much as possible. Try to be patient and quietly save your money and move out as soon as possible. This is the only long term solution for your. Good luck, with a crazy *** manipulating mother-in-law like that your going to need it.
2007-01-18 02:33:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i dont you need to tell him him and his mom needs to stop the drama you dont deserve that maybe one day she will get over it who knows but you need to tell your "husband" that you two are married now and she can either like it or not but that you dont want to put up with the drama any more maybe you guys could find your own place to live
good luck and i hope things work out for you
2007-01-17 07:35:52 · answer #7 · answered by advise_gal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear poor you! I could not cope with that shite! Film the cow or tape her show your husband (after you've got a one way ticket), leave him to watch and then come to Sunny Manchester we'll look after you
2007-01-17 07:37:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow she's going to end up ruining your marriage. I hate when they do that. She should understand that there are things that you can do for her son that she can't do and get over her crying nonsense. Don't stoop to her level though, just make him understand that you're just as important in his life and if he can't realize that then you'll leave.
2007-01-17 08:24:10 · answer #9 · answered by angel h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would you marry him with out checking the mother in law out. you have to get your own place so you and your hubby can live with out her watching every move. and then tell her if she doesn't stop her drams she won't come over your house. good luck
2007-01-17 08:04:46 · answer #10 · answered by hanusya101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋