my boyfriend gets mad at me easily. so I told him that I think somethimes he does'nt love me. He thinks I meant with everything he does and now he says this has ruined our relationship because I should know that he loves me because he has taken me to his parents house and does not flirt around. What do you think???
2007-01-17 07:08:47 · 24 answers · asked by judy_74074 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think you said too much. You told him how you felt which is what is required in relationships. Your bf is telling you how he feels as well but his feelings are the issue here. He has a temper problem and seems to blow everything out of proportion. His statement "has ruined our relationship because I should know that he loves me because he has taken me to his parents house and does not flirt around" is an example of his blowing things out of proportion. This situation started out with you upset at how he treated you yet he managed to turn it around on you with him being upset with what you said. He's pretty tricky if you ask me. His mind games with you and himself are killing this relationship. He is in denial he has an anger issue and you're willing to take the blame. So you need to make him aware of this issue. Warning, he will not take this lightly, obviously. He will find a way to twist it back to you and you must stand your ground and know you are right. If he is not willing to recognize this problem and work to change it this relationship is doomed. Because no matter how often you to take the blame his anger will still be there. Good Luck & God Bless!
2007-01-17 08:05:41 · answer #1 · answered by zero 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like me a year ago...The best thing to do is try to stay out of his way. In other words, let him do what he wants (go out, be with friends) and dont give him any crap for basically anything. He will see the difference and notice. This will make him more appreciative of the way you are and realize that he loves you. If you leave guys alone, they tend to become more clingy. They want to know why you've stopped caring. My boy gets really mad fast too so I just watch what i say and because i did this advice a long time ago, he appreciates me more and spends so much more time with me.
2007-01-17 15:16:03 · answer #2 · answered by Chely 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Typical meat and potatoes kind of guy. He doesn't understand intimacy, and may not even be able to spell it. If you want more in your man, go find an artist. Not being unkind, it just that most guys love football more than romantic dinners and whoopi more than cuddling and intimate conversation.
Frequent anger now is a warning sign, though, and the 'blame game' is for control freaks. Suggest you reevaluate the relationship on what makes YOU happy. Best of luck.
2007-01-17 15:11:43 · answer #3 · answered by Dorothy and Toto 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you did say too much but he do sound like a perfect boyfriend to have. The fact that he took you to the house to meet your parents already lead to think you are not his regular kind and he do love you. Appologise to him and tell him how you feel and all. Try not to make him mad, look deeply in yourself and what causes him to get mad at you easily. I am sure he looking for perfection in a relationship, kind of remind me of my own so i know exactly what are you talkin about. And trust me if he do love you (which looks like he is) then he will get mad at you when you tell him things like you dont love me anymore, or i think sometimes you dont love me, blah blah blah. Try to put yourself in his situation and see how that is when you really love the guy and all you see is him in your future, but he still doubts that you love him. Wouldnt you get mad? Just make up and try to work on yourself, because sometimes it takes effort to build something perfect. I am in stage of learning these things too. Good luck!
2007-01-17 15:36:29 · answer #4 · answered by BK thang 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say that your boyfriend doesn't understand what you mean. And that he is slightly a jerk. Just because he's taken you to his parents house and doesn't flirt doesn't mean that he loves you. Likes you, sure, but love is a big step away from like. Tell him that you need to feel loved, and that him always getting mad at you doesn't help.
2007-01-17 15:12:57 · answer #5 · answered by littlemoochild 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He knows that sometimes he doesnt treat you as well as he should and so he is trying to make you feel bad instead of him. If he thinks that this has ruined your relationship then he is a total dick - I think he is just saying this either because he feels ashamed at the way he treats you or (Im sorry to say) he wants out of the relationship and wants to blame you for it so he wont feel so bad. Take a step back from him - stop trying to sort it out and just let the situation sort itself out. You have done nothing wrong at all - he is just trying to make you feel like you have.
2007-01-17 15:15:50 · answer #6 · answered by Islandgirlss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of saying you think he doesnt love you sometimes, you should be more detailed about what you exactly mean. In other words what does he do or not do to make you feel that way? Its not that you said too much, you werent specific. He may not want to hear it either though. If you dont feel good about being with him and he wont at least listen to you, then find someone who will.
2007-01-17 15:13:20 · answer #7 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that lots of people need reassurance in there relationships. Myself being one of them. I don't think he should be mad about it, you care enough about him to tell him how you are feeling and he should respect that. I personally wouldn't like a boyfriend who gets mad at me easily, I wouldn't be able to stand walking on egg shells around him. So no you didn't say too much.
2007-01-17 15:13:18 · answer #8 · answered by Tracy G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Takes more than visiting mom and dad and him not flirting in front of you to prove love. He sounds like he may turn abusive on your behind eventually. One of those cheater guys who beats on thier girlfriends cuz they couldn't keep their dick in their pants. Be careful girl ... and if he thinks the relationship is ruined ... it's probably cuz he doesn't want to be in it in the first place ... think about it.
2007-01-17 15:12:38 · answer #9 · answered by msdrdn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That "you should know because I don't skirt around" thing does absolutely not wash with me. I've been married almost 4 years and my husband still says stuff like that. I say, "I don't know, how the hell am I supposed to know when you blatantly say you don't have time for me after time for hobbies and friends and you never say anything nice to me? Start showing me you love me, and I'll start knowing it."
2007-01-17 15:17:49 · answer #10 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋