have a laugh read my joke send 1 back?

Question

3- men sitting in a sauna,
heard a bleeping sound.
the american pressed his arm...
and the beep stopped. thats my pager, i have a microchip in my arm...
phone rings ,japanise man puts paln to his ear...
that was my mobile i have a chip in my hand... irish man
not to be outdone, went to toilet ,came back with toilet paper hanging from his ****.the others looked at him....
bjesus,will you look at that, im getting a fax.

Answer 1

I've heard this one before, it's quite funny!

Answer 2

I've got one:

There was a man who was looking to lose 10 pounds and his friend told him of this "workout" facility that he went to and had great results. So this guy walks into the facility and tells the woman at the front desk that he wants to lose 10 pounds. The woman say "walk down the hall; open the first door on your left." The guy walks in and standing there in the room is a very attractive woman who tells him "If you can catch me, then I will let you have sex with me." After many attempts, the man catches the woman and loses 10 pounds in the process. About a week later, the man returns to the facility and tells the woman behind the front desk "I want to lose 25 pounds this time." The woman says "Go to the first door on your right." The man walks in and there are very attractive twins standing in front of him and they say "If you can catch both of us, then you can have sex with us." The man eventually catches the twins and he loses 25 pounds in the process. The man was very satisfied with his results and he wanted to make one last trip. He goes back and tells the woman "I want to lose 50 pounds." The woman says "Go to the door at the end of the hallway." The man walks in and standing there is a massive gorilla with a sign around its neck reading "If I catch you, I get to f*ck you!"

Answer 3

A man sees an ad in travel agents window
CRUISES
2 weeks
£ 30
so he goes in asks about it,a fellow hits him over the head with a bat,throws him in the back room. 1/2 hour later another man enquires, same thing, in walks Paddy,same thing
They all wake up chained to a bench on a galley,they keep aasking each othe what happened, Paddy says I'm sick of this,it was the same las year!
Hope you like it,it sounded funny when I'd had a few pints!

Answer 4

Two cannibals were eating a hunter. One started eating at the head and ate toward the stomach. The other started at the feet and ate toward the stomach. After a while, the cannibal who was eating from the head down stopped, looked up and asked the other ," How are you doing down there?" The other said, "I'm having a ball." To which the first one replied. "You're eating too fast."

K

Answer 5

ROTFLMAO!!! Very funny!!

Q: What do anniversaries and toilets have in common?
A: Men always miss em!


Q: What do you call a Virgin on a water bed?
A: A cherry float

Answer 6

Old...
What's the difference between an Essex girl and a fridge?












Your meat does not F*rt when you take it out of a fridge.

My wife is from Essex so no replys. IT's A JOKE

Answer 7

lmao, Heres one for you,If a man has sex for every day of the year,kept all 365 condoms,melted them down& made a tyre out of the rubber,what would you call it?? A= a fcuckin Goodyear!!

Answer 8

lol, here is one you might like:


A little boy asks his mom "Mom, how old are you?"
The mom says "Now, honey that isn't a nice question to ask"
The boy says "OK, when then how much do you weigh?"
The mom says"That isn't nice to ask either"
The boy says "OK, then why do you and Dad fight all the time?" Then the mother says" I'll tell you when your older"
He says "OK"

Later on he comes back and tells his mother "Hey mom, I know all the answers to my questions, I looked at your driver's license."
The mom says "really"

He says "You are 47 years old, 135 pounds, and you and dad fight all the time because you got a F in sex"

Answer 9

That was okay but here's one.

Ther was a hotel and there were no more rooms left but one scary room. So this lady walks in and she says" I need a room Hurry". Okay but all we have is a haunted room. She says I will take it. Here you go. So she walks in and says" not bad". So all of a sudden she hears " I am going to get you" Then screams and runs out of the room. So this other guy comes in and goes" We need a room were going to be doing something". The goes ok but all we have is a haunted room. Then the man goes " that's fine". So he walks in and says this is nice! Than all of a sudden he hear's " I am going to get you" So both of them runs out of the room. then finaly a 16 yr old and a 12 yr old came in and sayed we need a room please. Okay but all we have is a haunted room. So we aren't scared. So they go in to the room and all of a sudden they hear" I am going to get you" So they look alaround the room and the 12 yr old looks in the closet and say's thats just a monkey picking his nose.

Answer 10

thats a gud 1

Answer 11

I don't know about it...
Here's a joke:
a lady was taking a shower and the doorbell rang. it was the race car driver. she put on her bathrobe and openned the door. the driver said "Aren't you going to congratulate me? I won the race!" the lady said congrats and went back into the shower. a few minutes later the doorbell rang. it was a couple. she put on her bathrobe and openned the door. "Aren't you going to congratulate us?" they said, "We just got married!" the lady said congrats and went back into the shower. a few minutes later the doorbell rang again. it was the blind man. she didn't put on her bathrobe because she knew that the man couldn't see her. she openned the door. "Aren't you going to congratulate me?" he said, "I can see again!!!"



Three men were out in the middle of the ocean. one was american, one was, spanish, and one was chinese. The chinese man said, "I have too much of these in my country." And threw down some rice in the ocean. The spanish man said, "I have too much of these in my country!" and threw down some tamales. the american man didn't have anything but said, "I have too much of these in MY country." and threw down the Spanish man!!