What can I do? He is very disrespectful.. He make fun of people, he is very rude, argues constantly, etc... I love him so much and it breaks my heart to see him act this way.. Its either... he gose on and on about wanting stuff, tells me he is going to do something instead of asking, nags, moans, and complains.. He is not a happy person unless he gets his way... MY GIRLS are not like that at all.... He is ADHD.......... he hates school and disrespects the teacher, he bullys kids, he faught with my husband (his step-father) and gave my husband bruises all over him..My husband loves him all he did was try to help him .. My husband just try to hold him down to keep him from hitting him.... WE are getting counseling.. But what can I do as a mother? I have tried telling him that I love him(I have always done that) I have tried spending time with him (he just complains, wants something,selfish) I tried hugging..(he pushes me away or is not sincere).. He's cold.......
2007-01-17 06:39:06 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
when I try to express the importance of a good behavior and attitude and how it refects .. He turns it all around and starts atacking and blaming.. He doesn't get it.. He would argue with a brick wall... His motto "do unto others as they do unto you" .. He has a very low self esteem with a big chip on his shoulder.....
2007-01-17 06:45:28 · update #1
His bio..father lives in another state..He doesn't have much contact with him. I called him to discsuss this and he said do what you gotta do! He doesn't get involved much.. My son calls my husband Dad~ My husband is totally frustrated..wants to bust his but..but by law he can't.. I really don't think that would solve the problem.. He just gets violent...
2007-01-17 07:28:56 · update #2
where is BIO dad? I made the mistake of "overcompensating" my 13 yr old son, because his "real" dad was not in the picture. ( making excuses for his misbehavior - buying him everything he wanted.. feeling sorry for him because his dad bailed.. you get the picture) . Then I remarried and I took the attitude that step- dad didn't love him enough- because he was the "step "son. He took those cues and ran with them.
My point is , make sure you are not giving him reason to act that way- even unintentionally. I finally had to stand my ground, stop buying him everyting he wanted, give him more responsiblity around the house.. and had him do a couple summer jobs..mowing a friends lawn, planting some flowers beds..stuff like that.
It helped him gain some self respect, while gave some room to breath. It was miserable at first.. he threw fits, yelled, but I did not want THAT unleashed on the world after I was gone!! I beleive in spanking a child. and 13 was not too big .
2007-01-17 07:04:07 · answer #1 · answered by tante 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, step back from the situation and take a deep breath. Do not let him draw you into his mania and do not feel like you have to always be armed with the perfect response. Sometimes you'll just look at him, tell him you are not happy with what he just did and will have to think about what you are going to do about it and in the mean time the best place for him to be would be in another room away from you. You don't leave you make him leave. Look at him seriously when you talk to him. By making him leave the room you are teaching him that if he does not behave in an acceptable manner he will not be allowed around you.
So what if he goes on and on about what he wants. Tell him he can want all he wants but he won't get until he deserves it. Then tell him what he needs to do to get it. Be specific. Just saying "you have to be good." is not enough. You might say, for the next week whenever you are upset you have to come and talk to me about it and explain why rather than yelling and hitting. (Hopefully this will open the door to him talking about why he is so angry and you two can work through this - but don't lead him to that, let it come out naturally otherwise he will catch on to what you are doing). Then ask him if he thinks he can do that? If he says yes then, Ofcourse you will have to remind him of this throughout the week by saying something like "remember you are going to talk to me about things this week, you promised." Everytime he talks rather than yells you also tell him how proud you are of him for it and how you like to know what he is feeling. Connect with him, by telling him similar things you went through when you were a kid. ADHD kids feel like they are so different from everyone else it is important for them to be able to relate to other people and know that they are not so different. At the end of the week get him the thing you agreed on. It is most important that you follow through with what you promised even if it means you don't eat for a day or if you have to hock your favorite thing.
2007-01-17 11:32:53 · answer #2 · answered by Not Laughing w/ U 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he needs to start counselling, and if that doesn't help, he might need medication. Try taking a way everything that he loves, and make him write 100 times "I will not....." whatever he might do bad. Then, make him write 10 reasons why it was wrong of him to do that, and then write those reasons 10 times each. He'll get writer's cramp, but what he's writing might also sink in. Dont give him equal treatment like your girls. tell him that he has to earn what they get, and he wont do it by misbehaving and being mean.
2007-01-17 06:48:29 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs Z. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Snap My son is just the same he has just turned 13 and has ADHD and we have also been told that he is probably on the Autistic spectrum as well. Is he on medication? mine is and it certainly helps him and us. He is growing up and it is a scary and confusing time for any kid let alone one with ADHD. Best thing i can say is that you are not alone.
2007-01-17 06:55:05 · answer #4 · answered by bodecia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What u do is...
1. go to your closet
2. pick the biggest belt
3. lure him with a cookie!
4. smack the belt against ur hand two or three times (really threatening)
,,, he'll be crying by now
5. smack his tiny little but with the HARD side of ur belt
... hes screaming at this point.
6. no sympathy is the key.
7. once ur done, send him to his room and put him in the corner with his head on the wall for 2 hours.
he will be sure to learn his lesson
O AND he betta not lay a hand on ur husband again, thats just evil. u need to discipline seriously
it wont hurt to use force on him
2007-01-17 07:01:43 · answer #5 · answered by Breanna L 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
you sure this one is yours?
Test him for illness and test until you discover the root cause of the problem. Normal behavior sholulld be the norm, heis not normal, so find out what is wrong. then medicine to solve the problem.
2007-01-17 06:44:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ADHD can do that he is going through a rough patch in his life.. Maybe he is blaming himself for the divorce of your first husband....... Hope this helps!!
2007-01-17 07:10:39 · answer #7 · answered by Brown-Eyed-Beauty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
beneficial...my 9 yo boy went from briefs to boxers some 3 hundred and sixty 5 days in the past...(all I positioned on is boxers...except i'm understanding or taking part in activities...duh), enable him positioned on what he needs...my boy now wears a variety, boxers and now and lower back boxer briefs...
2016-10-07 07:24:42 · answer #8 · answered by haslinger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should try to sit down with him and if he does good things tell him he will get the things he wants.
2007-01-17 06:44:45 · answer #9 · answered by highschoolmusical77 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For one thing Abuse is not the answer!!! Do what you have to do to put your foot down with him. All these people that suggest Abuse, Your Wrong!! Best of luck to ya
2007-01-17 10:43:52 · answer #10 · answered by tinkerbell 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋