Im in a serious relationship with a woman and have been for,oh ,8 years. The last few years , her already low sex drive has pretty much evaporated. We are working on this on the psych. side ie. why her libido is gone, etc. However, I am still a guy (who has libido to spare....)and I wouldn't think of cheating. I do, however, watch adult films and take care of the situation " by hand".
She, on the other hand, is really angry- saying that I'm cheating on her in my mind which is just as bad. I totally disagree,almost thinking I'm saving our relationship presently as I'm not out loooking elsewhere. If she keeps this up, though, I WILL be moving on.
What do people think. If a guy who is in a relationship masterbates , is it cheating?
2007-01-17 06:36:53 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you masturbate to the point that you are not interested in making love to your aprtner you are cheating. If it is your only avenue of sexual release then it isn't. You are not cheating.
If the gas station of love shuts off full service you go the the self-service pump.
2007-01-17 06:41:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating is what your SO thinks is cheating.
HOWEVER, you need to explain to her what you said above. Tell her that you're a man with libido to spare and that you need to get sexual relief somewhere. She's obviously not giving it to you, so until you can work on that issue, you need an outlet.
If you're an overly sexual person, and she is not, that's a pretty big problem. Sex isn't the only thing in a relationship, but it's pretty important.
2007-01-17 06:41:33 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Porn and masturbation have a place in a relationship when one partner is not able or willing to satisfy the other. However, if things turned around, and you're still "handling" the situation yourself, then yeah that's a problem I could see her griping.
Tell her in a non-confrontational way that she needs to fix this problem (if she's younger or has recently been ill, etc) one way or another...it could be hormonal. Heck even if she's older, it could be hormonal. She should see a doctor and get treatment...there are plenty of options out there for her to explore.
Finally, just because SHE's not in the mood, doesn't mean that she can't necessarily, ummm, handle things for you!
2007-01-17 06:45:38 · answer #3 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she doesnt like you masterbating and watching porn SHE should be doing something about it. if she wont compromise about the libido sex thing, i think you should have a serious talk. i dont know why you put up with it. its not about the sex, its the fact that she only cares about herself and thats not what relationships are about. some people would say a good relationship should survive without sex, but if she won't compromise about the masterbation thing then you KNOW its time to move on. its clearly all about her in your relationship.
2007-01-17 06:47:08 · answer #4 · answered by dasistgut_15 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a guy but no way!!! She's insecure about her sex drive. If you really care for her (and it seems that you do)...make it about her sexual health and not about your loins.
Hey dude....I can so hear you saying, "But...." If you really care for her, research some ways on improving the female lowered libido. I've seen meds and vitamins...things that will help. And good old fashioned romantic seduction in a different set up may work as well.
Women enjoy the illusion...the fantasy! Make love to her mind and her emotions first...and the rest will come (no pun intended).
Good Luck!!
2007-01-17 06:43:12 · answer #5 · answered by Bathroom Graffiti 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
In a way, yes you're cheating. When you rub one out, in your head you're fantasizing about the porn chick giving it to you, right? So you ARE being intimate mentally, which is a big part of sex. Also, if the porn chick magically popped out of the TV mid-stroke, you'd what, stop and ask her to leave? Heck no! Be honest. So you are being unfaithful. But, if she's not been receptive, it is more honorable than going whoring. Did you consider though, that her lack of sex drive has something to do with the turkey mask you wear? Unless, of course, you are dating a turkey!
2007-01-17 07:31:35 · answer #6 · answered by Mike Oxard 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no, its not cheating. i mean, think about it. if she were on her period and didnt want to have sex, what would you do? the same thing. most women understand and accept that there are times where we will want it and they won't be into it. so we take care of it ourselves. she is being unreasonable, and because she has lost her libido, she feels you have no right experiencing yours. its a jealousy thing.
2007-01-17 06:40:48 · answer #7 · answered by begeeman13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think any girl who thinks a guy masterbating or watching porn is cheating is effing retarded!!! She needs to get help for that. I dont see anything wrong with it. Its not cheating in any way shape or form.
2007-01-17 06:41:05 · answer #8 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are saving the relationship by masturbating; you are not cheating. I have been known to do it when watching homemade movies from my gal Melrose. Melrose and I both have a very high sex drive like you, but do not see each other often so we need to do something else. I'm going enjoy Melrose squirting all her juice on me next time I see my sexy gal.
2007-01-17 07:03:51 · answer #9 · answered by ICARRYABIGSTICK 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO!!! Masterbating is not cheating.
I do it all the time and that doesn't mean I'm cheating on ilpinman!!
I'm like you, I have a really high sex drive and when I'm with ilpinman I'm going to drain his nuts!!! ;)
2007-01-17 06:43:08 · answer #10 · answered by CURVY 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋