keep my boyfriend around for a while when I know we will probably break up. I dont want to break up he's the best relationship I've had (not that I've had really good ones before this). I really love him and our relationship is amazing but he doesnt work and isnt trying to get a job very much and we got an apartment together and I ended up paying for everything. I dont want to be anybodys sugar mama so I know the right thing to do would be to break up but he's so amazing, treats better than a queen, so it is it wrong to not end the relationship now?
2007-01-17 06:31:16 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
OMG! While reading this it was like reading my life. Well with small differences that is. Well my boyfriend and I have been together for like about 6 months. We are in a very serious relationship, and I love him very much. He isn't working now, but he is trying to look for a job. In the beginning I didn't think that he wanted to get a job and he even started getting comfortable me paying for things, then I guess he realized that it isn't fair.
In your case, he LIVES with you and you are paying everything. Girl.. you need to sit down and have a talk with him. Let him know that it's not fair that you are doing all the work in the relationship you guys have and that he needs to contribute. Let him know that HE NEEDS TO GET A JOB ASAP because you are not some kind of bank, and that you work for your money.. so should he! Let him know!!!!! I know it's easier said then done, but if you don't let him know, he is going to do NOTHING about contributing. Right now he is living the life since he has a place to stay rent -free with food! Girl... you are going to suffer in the near future if you don't have a serious talk with him!
*Good Luck Girlie*
2007-01-17 06:42:10 · answer #1 · answered by WiseGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow my sister is going thru the same thing! I think you should just look out for yourself because when you get tight with money who are you going to lean on? him? no right? just think about how hard has it been for you to get where you are? Get your own place, got a job, a car, i dont know you that well, but wasn't it by your effort that you have all the things you have now? I mean yeah having a boyfriend that loves you is great but you don't want someone to just sit there at home doing nothing while you do all the work...
I don't know I think this is just a matter of you deciding what's best for your future. Think about your future.
Good luck chica!
2007-01-17 06:37:13 · answer #2 · answered by Dama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what you want and on what he's 'actually' doing. I had an income when I married my husband, and he did not, so I supported him 'unconditionally' for several years before he finally got a 'grant' to go to college for a year ... and now he makes over $50,000 a year and we both 'live on' that ... and what he does to 'support me' is as unconditional as what I did to 'support him. So ... take a really GOOD LOOK at things ... maybe your boyfriend isn't 'looking for a job very much' because he's DEPRESSED or SCARED or simply WORN OUT, and maybe there's something you can do to help him out BESIDES supporting him ... and I'm not saying NAG HIM, either ... but a GOOD LONG TALK that is open ended is the BEST place to start, and that means that you must LISTEN as well as speak your mind.
2007-01-17 06:39:57 · answer #3 · answered by Kris L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that there is a problem with it. Him treating you like that may be a cover up. He may be doing this so that he doesn't have to look for a job, and can keep living off of you. If he is not looking for a job to help pay the bills, then you need to let him go, and look for someone that will.
2007-01-17 06:37:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't meet the basic criteria that you look for in a man, like having a job and keeping it, then he probably isn't worth it. He is probably treating you well because you are his sugar mama and he doesn't want to lose the benefits.
2007-01-17 06:37:00 · answer #5 · answered by Michael K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife works and I have tried to get jobs but I can't I have been out of work for about 3 months. Personally it feels like crap to know that I am not the one supporting my family but thats life. If he isn't trying to get a job have him do what I did. I joined the Airfoce, I leave in March it's probably the best thing for him. It is for me.
2007-01-17 06:36:58 · answer #6 · answered by Kyle R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey forget about that stupid bum. He don't got a job and hes 28????? leave him, he's not worth your money. besidez, how in the hell can he treat you like a queen if he doesnt work? unless u mean by in the bed, but thats not worth staying with him. A lot of great men would do better. get rid of him. KICK HIM TO THE CURB!!!!
2007-01-17 06:36:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well........ if he treats you well and takes care of the house then why do you want to leave him? Because he's not bringing money home?
Isn't a relationship about how well the two of you connect and respect eachother?
That's sad you want to break up with him because he has no money.
2007-01-17 06:44:06 · answer #8 · answered by Destinee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will not get anyone better than a man that treats you like a queen - if he is that good explain that he needs to get a job to satisfy you and he should understand - if he doesnt understand then maybe he isnt as good as you thought
2007-01-17 06:34:54 · answer #9 · answered by boo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well considering that your the one with the job and money, if i were in his position i would treat you better than a queen too. no its not wrong for you to want him around, WHAT is wrong is the way he's treating you without you even knowing it
2007-01-17 06:37:03 · answer #10 · answered by musstoffa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋