2day is my late boyfriend 29th birthday, I feel bad cuz I can't go2 his grave, how can I make 2day special?

Question

I don't have transportation to the graveyard. The busese don't go that far, and I can't afford a cab. I have no friends who will extend such a favor. I don't wanna ask MY mom cuz she is gonna say, 'Well u never asked to go visit any of your family memebers grave, that means u put ur realtionship before your own family.' But thte thing no one else has ever asked to visit our famil members grave.Last year his mom took me, but I don't want to ask her, I don't wanna be an inconvience. But I do wanna call and she how she is doing.
1.Should I call his mom and explain how sad I am that I cant make it to his grave?
2.How can I make 2day special, even though it's been a year and 4months, I still love and miss him dearly?
3.Why does my family love to remind me (in mean vindictive way) how he isn't comign back and they see no need in visting his grave because we weren't married

Answer 1

-First of al I would call your mom and say hey mom I really have a favor to ask and I just want you to be there with me I know we were not married but I felt like we were in my heart and I really miss him and just want to go there to say I miss you and love you and I still think of you and your in my heart and mind.
My grandparents died 1 18 yrs ago and the other 10 yrs ago we go to the grave site 3 times a week and we decorate there grave on every holiday and special occasions. It's great to go there and other people be there at someone else grave and say you guys do an awesome job and they would be so proud of you and that there lucky to have you guys as family. If I can't make it up there I feel bad and visit longer the next time I go! I know they our watching us and how we take care of there grave and there so proud and know how much we love and miss them. My Grandfather went up every day when Grandma died he missed one time and that was a snow storm and he went the next and drove 3-5 miles per hour to get up there it was the love of his life. So tell you mom and ask her and if you can't get a ride there, have a party with his pictures there and candles and just PRAY and cry out to the Lord and let your late boyfriend know whats on your mind you don't have to go there he will understand just have one at your place for him! Good Luck and hope this helps. God Bless You !

Answer 2

1. Call his mom. Tell her how sorry you are about her loss, still. How you miss him and ask her if she's going to his grave. Tell her you can't go, but tell her you'll be thinking about him all day.
2. I think the most you can do is stop and reflect on how happy he made you and how good a person he was. If you're religious and/or pray, then maybe pray for him.
3. Your family doesn't understand and do not seem like very nice people. Tell them you loved him, and just because he wasn't your husband does not mean he wasn't important. Tell them furthermore, it doesn't matter what they see a need for, you aren't visiting his grave for THEIR wellbeing.

And lastly, keep your head high and remember that he's watching you and loves you.

Answer 3

You should call his mom and ask her if she is going. Because more than likely she is with it being his birthday. Ask her if you can go along with her and let her know that you are really missing him right now. I bet she would understand. Just give it a try. Even though you were not married does not mean that you didn't love him. If you feel that going to his grave would make you feel better than go. Just remember that he isn't there when ever you want to talk to him just look right up into the sky thats where he will be listening to everything you want to say to him.

Answer 4

You know, I have never been able to appreciate visiting the gravesite of someone. That person will live on in your heart and your mind, so why do you need to go to a plot of ground to remind yourself that the person is gone? The person isn't around to appreciate you visiting. If you believe in spirits, then you know that the spirit of the person would know if you are thinking about them.

So, I would say meditate for a few minutes on your boyfriend and think about the good times and how much you loved him. That is how you should commemorate the day.

Answer 5

i'm so sorry for your loss. that's so awful of your family to act like that, just because you weren't married doesn't mean you didn't love each other dearly. you should give his mother a call and see how she's doing, and let her know that you unfortunately can't make it to visit his grave, she may volunteer to take you with her without you having to ask. if you're still not able to go, you should take some quiet time to yourself, maybe write him a letter to get your feelings out. there's nothing wrong with still loving him, you probably always will. best of luck to you.

Answer 6

chuffed Birthday female. Have a astounding day and can you stumble on a good-looking guy. Luckiest day may be once I observed the 1st look of Veronica. She's is something else, while she smiles at you, you purely experience such as you're in heaven. immediately's a definite occasion to your mothers and dads because of the fact they have you ever, spend extra time with people who loves you rather than people who you adore.

Answer 7

Oh i think that calling his mother would be the answer to your first and second question. You can make it special by being around the people who also miss him dearly and share good memories of him. Celebrate his life all of the things that you love about him. This may sound stupid but it worked for me on the 7th anniversary of the death of my father I wrote him a letter. I cried through parts of it and smiled through the other parts. Spend the day around his family. It is normal for you to be sad he was so young and sounds like one of the good guys.

Answer 8

Call his mom, spend some time talking about nice memories you have of him. Go to a local church and light a candle for him and say a prayer. I know it has been 2 years since your lost and my heart goes out to you. Think of him and all the good things but know that it is not a bad idea to move on, even though it is good to think of all the good times with him also.

Answer 9

I was watching 'Miami Ink' last night and people on there would get tattoos of their deceased loved ones to make themselves feel better. They even get a portrait of them or a symble or anything that reminds them of that person tatooed on their body. They say it helps them cope better. It's like having them with you all the time because they are on your body. So maybe instead of going to the trouble of going to his grave every year, it would help you to get a tattoo for him and that way you will have him with you forever. PS, that person that said 'call him' needs to go to h e l l.

Answer 10

You should call his mom and tell her how you feel and tell her you would love to go with her to the cemetary. (since she's probably going anyway, she might enjoy some company).

Or if you absolutely don't want to impose on her, sit down and write him a letter, you can take it to the cemetary when you get a chance to go by yourself or burn it as a symbol of sending it up to him.