Is my GF jealous/envious of me?

Question

I make more than my GF ($60,000 vs. $15,000)

She is upset that I won't buy a house (I am a caretaker for my 92 yr old aunt who raised me)

We don't stay together (my GF and I)
She is always struggling to pay her bills.
B/C I make a good amount of money I have alot of disposible income.

I don't want to get an apt because I feel as if it's a waste of money (no tax benefits)

She is always complaining that I spend too much money.
She doesn't know my cash flow, so how could she know I spend to much.


I do spend alot of money but I also save alot of money to.

Somedays I think she is envious/jealous of me.
What do you all think?

I meant to add that somedays I feel as if she is against me. I need someone who is on my team. That's the best way I can explain it.

To Angel Eve, how do I have a committment problem. I need you to explain that.

I have no problem committing, but I need someone who has my back. Not someone who goes against ever thing I do.

I never question her about her $600 Victoria's Secret bill. I hardly get to see any of it. I know someone was going to comment that it's for me.
$600 is way to much to spend on some lingerie.

I care about her.
But my finances are just that MY finances.

We aren't married nor living together, so what should it matter how much I spend.

She wasn't complaining when I bought a Tiffany & Co. bracelet for her B-day.

If she is short on money I always help her out.
I am not stingy with my money. If she needs a bill paid than I will pay it.

Addition: she is a college graduate working a menial job.She works as a cashier at a grocery store making maybe $8 a hour.

Answer 1

She might be jealous, but you should talk about that stuff with her if you guys are in a serious relationship.

Answer 2

I'd almost bet that it isn't that you have a lot of money to spend on what you choose, but that you don't spend more of it on her. She probably thinks that since she is your girlfriend, then you should be making her life easier financially. And she probably doesn't want to say this up front because it can make her seem like a gold-digger, (which she might be), and that would defeat the purpose.

What it comes down to is that it's YOUR money, nobody else's, and what you choose to do with it is your business. And as you pointed out, you aren't squandering it away, and you are acutely aware of your own finances. So if how you deal with your own money is such an issue with her, then I'd rethink what her motives might be for being with you.

Edit: All of your Additional Details just confirm my assessment. She doesn't mind when you spend money on her, whether it's presents or to pay her bills. Her problem lays in how you spend it otherwise.

She should not look to you for financial support or be dependent on you for it, either. If you were not her boyfriend, then her financial situation would still be the same. If you are paying any of her bills, then she doesn't have a realistic grasp of her finances, and is spending beyond her means expecting you to cover for her. Heaven forbid you should marry her and allow her any control over your income while she has this mindset.

Answer 3

I don't think she's jealous because you spend so much money. I think she's curious on where your getting your money from. I don't blame you for not getting an apt, it's a waste and there is no tax ben. Just keep going like your going. Just don't be to greedy, if she's really really having trouble paying a bill, offer a little help, to let her know you care. If you don't care, get out of the relationship.

Answer 4

I can see why you'd think she's jealous because she might indeed be. However, have you expressed your feelings to her? If not, maybe you should. Regardless of what she says, you need to make it clear that how you spend your money, is not her concern. Yall don't live together, nor are you married. She needs to respect you, and your financial choices. If she refuses to do so, you need to move on and find someone who supports you instead of being so critical about something that she has nothing to do with.

Answer 5

well i think you should spend a little bit on her, figure out something that she wants and buy her it. maybe she will calm down. its now ur fault man, u worked hard to get a job that pays well, you shouldnt be scolded for it.
It is your reponsibility to care for your aut, i mean she is 92 and a person of tht age cant be take care of themselves as well as they used to back in the day.
your wife needs to understand this and you need to understand that she may be under some heavy economical pressure right now. you 2 should go somewhere nice to eat and talk things out.
for some reason i think she sees that the relationship is not progressing to anything serious and she really wants it to progress, when you two sit and talk you should talk about how serious each of you are in the relationship, if it is truly a serious relationship.Maybe u guys arent compatible.
and i hope u arent rubbing the money in her face,cuz that would irrtate any1.

Answer 6

if both of you working and making a living, what is her problem? beside both of you are g.f and b.f, nothing more, if you tent to marry her, then you better try to live with her, to see how things goes in the house or a place both of you will be staying at, because what if she is using you for the sake of money. so be careful with those type of people. if she want to make more money, tell her to go back to college and do some study and she would get more money. The problem overall is this, Does she love me for the sake of money or for the sake of love? that i don't know, find out and then, if she love you for the sake of money, leave her behind.

Answer 7

Sounds like she's just afraid. Maybe afraid of her own life, afraid that things are not that stable with you, meaning that if she does not have "more" of you that you may not be there for her. I think she's just trying to find something that's yours "together". Maybe you two can work on something together, maybe ask her about her hopes and dreams and you can brainstorm together to see those dreams come true. If you help her feel strong, she will do the same for you and then be on your team. Good luck.

Answer 8

Sounds as if she should not be telling you how to spend your money. even though she probably means well. She might we viewing what kind of provider you will be if you and her would ever get married. A guy that spends money carelessly is a threat to a womens well being if she is considering ever being married to him. Talk to her about this, see where her concerns about how you spend your money is coming from.

Answer 9

It seems to me she is projecting. She nags you about how much you spend because she doesn't have the pleasure of being able to do so. and she has to struggle to make ends meet. I can identify with her. I have always had to work my butt off to keep the bills paid so when I get any extra I hoard it like it is going out of style. Try to understand her position instead of assuming she is jealous. because she is. So don't give her static because you are a "Have" and she is a "Have-not".

Answer 10

She sounds like she probably is. She must be a college student, living with her parents, because that amount of money would be impossible to live on!! If you are telling the truth, and she really only makes that you should help her out. How in the hell can she survive?????

Answer 11

who says buying apt has no tax benefits? your mortgage can be used in your tax deduction. maybe she is jealous but she's right about investing your money in the right place, like real estate. if you feel she's against you, talk to you and if it doesn't work, leave and get someone else. you don't need to stay in a miserable relationship and feeling like your gf is not in support of you emotionally.