My Son is attached at the hip... needs mother's advice!?

Question

Okay. My son just recently turned 11 months old. He's starting to develop a little attitude and is unecessarily attached to my hip. I can't even get dressed in the morning without him CONSTANTLY fussing and whining. He's got a ton of toys but he won't play with them. I work during the day, and his sitter says he's just as good as gold with her and spends the entire day playing. Why is it that he can't do that at home? I love him to death and enjoy spending time with him, but I'd like to start just ONE day without him fussing and just ONE morning when I can take and shower and get dressed without him crying. Sometimes I try to ignore it, but I feel like I'm neglecting him. Am I enabling this behavior?? Taking all serious suggestions!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

Are you sure you weren't describing my son????? He's 19 months old, and is still following me around the house!!!! Of course, as he's gotten older he's mellowed out a little. He can watch a video for 10 minutes, or play with a toy for 10 minutes, but usuallly he's with me wherever I go! My mom says that when he can play with imagination... and entertain himself a little more, then he will grow out of this stage. Of course, there are times when I have to let him fuss, i.e. showering, making dinner, but mostly I allow him to be with me when he wants to. One day, he'll wish that I would go away and leave HIM alone, then I'll think back to these days and miss them.
p.s. you are not neglecting him. If you need a time out, gate him in a room with a video and some "fun" toys, and allow him to fuss, get over it, and then play without your constant supervision, and he'll get used to the new rules in the house.
Good Luck!

Answer 2

My daughter went through the exact same thing. I couldn't bear to have her fussing so much so I was her little slave until just recently. It seems like that at around 15 months when she started walking she didn't need me so much anymore. I think it's because they can get around and get a good view of whatever they want when they're walking, and also, naturally they begin to develop more confidence and more of an ability to understand you. When he gets a little older he'll understand more when you tell him, "mommy is busy right now, I'll play with you in a couple of minutes". At 11 months old he doesn't quite understand enough just yet.

I say hang in there. As he understands more and gets more independant you'll get your space. There are times now that I wish my daughter would let me carry her around. She just wnts to go and run around now, she has no time to snuggle with me!

Answer 3

well, it's the same kind of deal as when a child throws a toy out of the crib, cries until you bring it back, then throws it out again. he's dealing with the separation issue, and he obviously doesn't feel prepared for that just yet. however, we also know that in today's society, mothers have more to do than just deal with the kids. unfortunately, i think the best thing to do is to maybe say to him, in simple terms when you're going to do something, say take a shower and say, Mommy needs to go shower. I'll be back in just a few minutes. Then leave. He will almost certainly cry, but you have to just leave him until you're done doing what you're doing, and then come back. once he sees that your leaving is not permanent, he'll realize that it's normal and that mommy will always come back. that way, the separation is a process, not a shock. good luck!!

Answer 4

He is experiancing seperation anxiety. It's completely normal for his age. It will go away after a while. When my daughter (now 18 mon) was going thru that phase, I would just talk to her while I was getting ready, and tell her what I was doing ("mommy's putting on her shoes", etc). If she wouldn't stop screaming, I would put her in her crib with her blankie and a bottle, and let her stay there until I was finnished getting ready. I too felt a little guilty about it, but now she's just fine. I think sometimes you have to ignore the behavior to keep your sanity, and avoid yelling back at your child. I know it's hard, but it will pass.

Answer 5

If you give in to his whining even a little bit, he will learn to do that next time to get your attention. I know that it is hard but try your best to ignore when he acts that way. Also make sure to give him lots of attention when he behaves the way you want him to, and set some mommy and me time aside so that he knows when he can have you all to himself. I am going through the same thing. I just started working and my daughter did that for about three months before she got into the swing of things

Answer 6

He needs to learn that mom cannot hold him 24 hours a day. While it's upsetting to let him cry and whine, it's what's best. It's almost like tantrums: They only do it for attention and you have to ignore it otherwise it's just promoting the behavior.

When he starts crying, get down on his level (not in his face, just down next to him) and say "Mommy is getting ready..after I get ready, I will hold you". If he continues to cry, let him. He'll get over it.

You can't hold him 24 hours a day, so why make him think you can? Let him cry..he'll be fine.

Answer 7

He does this to you because he knows you'll come for him. You are not neglecting him as long as he is safe and fed and reasonably dry. He is now aware he can affect his world and this is the beginning of his testing you.

Set your boundaries now and stick to them. Decide when you will go to him and when you will continue with what you're doing, and be consistent. He is headed for... toddlerhood. Where every moment is a test.