If you are with someone for 5 1/2 years........... What is the best way to get over the fact that they dumped you and then went and turned around and got your best friend in the world pregnant. What would you do? Would you forgive them and get back together with them? Would you still be friends with the best friend that got pregnant by your ex? So many questions so many answers someone please help me.
2007-01-17 06:00:26 · 17 answers · asked by tbird_kinard 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First of all, what do you mean by "get back together with them"? Do you mean the ex-bf? Are you KIDDING? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What happens the next time he dumps you and then knocks up your sister or something? Use your head! If he does something so egregious once, he'll do it again. SHEESH!
As for forgiving the friend...it depends, but in most cases I would forgive her for the hurt she caused, but probably not continue the friendship. Unless she's REALLY stupid, she had to know that sleeping with this guy was going to hurt you, but she did it anyway. Don't let your anger ruin your future...but don't let her ruin it with her deception and selfishness, either.
I'm sorry that you got the fuzzy end of that lollipop. Good luck to you.
2007-01-17 06:11:55 · answer #1 · answered by kcbranaghsgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's what I would do. I would forgive both persons - both the impregnator and the impregnated - because forgiving them actually frees you. You no longer hold onto your anger and resentment when you forgive somebody for what they've done against you.
However, once you've forgiven, you're under no obligation to resume any type of relationship with either of these people - and I wouldn't. Here's why: you are deserving to be around people who will treat you better and be more considerate of your feelings than these two obviously were. The ex-boyfriend and best friend showed no consideration regarding what you might think or feel about the two of them getting together - they put their own wants and needs first.
It's hard to put your emotions aside and look at the situation objectively - but now your ex will always have a tie to your best friend, assuming she has his child. Move on and find somebody who will treat you better.
2007-01-17 06:15:47 · answer #2 · answered by sillysib7 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiving & forgetting is OVER RATED. Your life will never be able to move on if you keep both these people in your life. You will always remember what happened & will always talk about it like how you are talking about it now. If i didn't bother you, then you wouldn't ask this question on Yahoo. Oviously, it bothers you, so the best answer would be to eliminate them from your life. You can always find a new best friend & a new boyfriend.
Just remember that a best friend in the whole world would never get pregnant from your boyfriend or ex for that matter. And, an ex would not go out & get your best friend in the world pregnant. Remember the rule "girls never date eachothers boyfriends or ex's" no matter what.
2007-01-17 06:07:16 · answer #3 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, did your best friend have your blessing to go out w/ him ? If not, maybe you shoulda just stopped being friends w/ her fr the get-go. (getgo?) Everyone's diff't, like in my fam, peeps have gone out w/ the same guy. My sis, & 2 of our cuz's went out w/ the same guy. In another sit, my cuz went out w/ this guy & now her lil sis is going out w/ him & she used to hate him even ! She said that he's changed & they've been together for a good 2 yrs, if not more. The older sis is 19 (w/ 2 babies) & the lil sis is gonna be 16 in May. Also, the 19 yr old went out w/ my sis's ex. She had 2 babies w/ him & they're supposedly engaged... (she has a ring but there's no date set). So really, it just depends on how close you feel to your best friend... Me, my sis's & the 19 yr old's lil sis don't like him, neither does our cuz. I don't know why we all don't like him but I don't like him cuz he lied to our cuz bout not having any kids. I got mad @ him online & told him that he shoulda told her that he had a kid. My cuz said that she wouldn't have had anything to do w/ him if she knew that he had a kid already but he lied bout it.
Do you still like her ? Are you holding a grudge against her ? It may even take you a while to decide that you don't want anything to do w/ her anymore. If you're considering not being her friend anymore, then that's respectable & even expected. You may need to take your time to decide what you want out of this friendship (if you still want it that is). Although I'm not gonna tell you what you should or shouldn't do bout this sit, I'd advise you to talk to a counselor bout the situation. That way you can get all of your feelings out bout this whole thing. Good luck.
2007-01-17 06:11:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely you cannot respect either your ex or ur best friend provided they knew about each other. However, if the 2 dint know about each other then also its ur ex's fault coz he should been loyal to you after being in a relation with you for almost 6 yrs. In all cases ur ex shud definitely be blamed but about your friend, it depends on the circumstances whether she knew about him or not and whether whatever happened was with her consent or not? u never knw she might have been forced into it. Talk to her and get the facts straight if it was not her fault then you must support her n continue to be friends with her.
2007-01-17 06:09:43 · answer #5 · answered by chinks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its always the people we care for that hurt us. I think you need to step back and reevaluate your friendship with this girl. I know I would be hurt if my best friend slept with my ex and got pregnant. You should spend time trying to heal from the break-up before you decide what to do with your friendship. Once you feel you can handle talking about your ex with wanting to throw him off the cliff, you'll be ready to decide if you want to continue with the friendship. I hope that you find someone new who won't treat you the way your ex did!!!
2007-01-17 06:09:16 · answer #6 · answered by Michael K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
man that's hard to go thru. I have been thru something simuliar. It's really up to you. forget the guy that did that to you.you derserve a hell lot better and I am not going to lie to you it's going to be hard but only time can heal that. As far as the best friend, I would keep her as a friend but would not be as close to her as before but like I said everything is up to you. Nobody has the right to tell you what to do because everyone has different feeling about the situation. Good Luck and keep your head up things will get better for you. It's going to take sometime but one things for sure: let this lesson make you stronger, but don't let it change who you are. Don't let one jerk ruin that chance for someone else to see the wonderful person that you are.
2007-01-17 06:11:43 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would never get back together with him. The best friend most likely didn't care for the fact that he was your boy friend. Did you best friend tell you she likes him? If you said its fine and you are over him, then you can't blame but other wise I wouldn't. Both of the people I big time back stabbers.
2007-01-17 06:05:02 · answer #8 · answered by Loco 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would, leave both of them alone, and not bother handing around with those people, if you get somebody pregnant for the sake of jealous of angry, then I'll kill you myself, because you are bring a child to hell. so think wise and don't be stupid. there are many people like that already. Save a child from having hard time in his or her life.
2007-01-17 06:07:41 · answer #9 · answered by Alex K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to get back together with someone like that. Shouldn't he be with the mother of his child, if they love each other. To move on, you have to forgive them, but why would you want to get back with someone who dumped you.
good luck!
2007-01-17 06:04:07 · answer #10 · answered by fab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋