Should we break up?

Question

Me and my boyfriend has been going out for 8 month. He is a nice guy and cute I think I love him. I am a classy girl, and I am used to a rich life style. He is from a poor family and he didn't even graduate high school. He says he is not persuing his education becuase he has ADHD. He works in construction, however recently he lost his job. But he does take side jobs to have some income. I tried to make him to take his GED and go to college but its not working. He dresses like a big time gansta, even though he is white, and i have to tell him like what the hell are you wearing, so he wouldn't wear it again. He is very stubborn, and it is very hard to make him to something. But I know he cares for me, and he loves. He was my first so it hard to walk away. I am 18 and I know I should be having fun and not care right now, but I keep asking my slef if i don't see a future with him why should i waste my time. He is only 20 so who know what he ll be able to achive in future.

Answer 1

You and you alone can make the decision to stay with him. You say that you love him... You probably need to sit down and ask yourself why you are with him ?Are you with him because you love him because if you are then you need to stay with him, but on the other hand you need to ask yourself why you would want to break up with him.... Is it because he's form a poor family and your used to a rich lifestyle.. Is it because he has a problem that he cant really help? Why those are the two questions you need to ask yourself and then and only then will you know? It sounds like you do love him and yea since he was your first it will be hard to let go, but you have to look at the good and the bad sides of your relationship and then make your decision based on that.

Answer 2

i know that after 8 months it may be quite hard to walk away from somebody that you both love and happens to be your first. however ADHD should not be used as a reason to drop out of high school. at the age of twenty if he has not been persuaded into getting his GED the chances are he never will. i also know that you may want to change someone not because you don't like the way that they are but because you know that a change may do great things for them in the future but honestly no matter how hard you try you wont be able to, so let him wear what he wants. as for you being 18 it is a time to have fun but not a good time NOT to worry, at 18 you should be getting ready to graduate high school and go off to collage, at 18 many important choices are going to be made and you are going to need someone that is able to help you make those decisions , and from the info about your boyfriend it seems like he didn't make all the right decisions when he was 18, so YES it may be time to move on.

Answer 3

Girl let me tell you Love don't cost a thing but it sure don't pay your bills. what i mean by that is your young you still have your whole future ahead of you and this guy your with is already 20 yrs old has not graduated high school and just lost his job and he is using his excuses that he has ADHD look that is know excuse because where i work right now 50% of our employees have a disability and to top it off our executive director is blind dude come on don't let this guy drag you down girl because it seems to me that if you let this continue and you say you like to live a " Rich" life style your gona end up taking care of him till you realize that love isn't every thing girly . so good luck

Answer 4

People may tell you that it does not matter, but if it matters to you then I can tell you this relationship will not work. To begin with he will start to resent you for trying to change him (fix him). Alot of women make this mistake, they see possibilities in a man so they try to change him. He may be happy just the way he is, so yes I would say you two are not a match. But I do hope that he gets at least a little more serious about his future, not for your sake but for his, golly the guy does not even have a high school eduction or GED.....that is a concern right there.

Answer 5

If u don't see a future, no thanks. If u don't like his style or his goals, that's not a good sign either. We woman naturally want to change a man because we may see potential in him. We know he a sweety and that he "loves me" and that may be true, but sometimes you have to know when to break away. the 2 of u are still really young, esp[especially you. Maybe try a little time apart. You know, a couple months, but u can't be seeing each other all the time during this period, or it won't be effective. If you still can';t live without him, then try the relationship again. Giving each other time is important because it helps you figure out if you can live with those little quirks about him that drive u nuts, or if it's just too much. Good luck.

Answer 6

the answer to "who knows what he'll be able to achieve in the future" is already in your question. he is not willing to get a GED, go to college, dress like an adult... he is pretty much not going to achieve anything with an attitude like that. also, no matter how much you try, you cannot "make" anyone to do anything - they have to want it for themselves.

plenty of people in this world have ADHD, and have achieved - my hubby is one of them, and he had it before it was discovered as a condition... he not only graduated high school, but college as well and is very successfully self employed.

you are 18. there are plenty of other fish in the sea, and a new one will be swimming by every minute until you turn 30 or so, so have fun while the tide is in sweetie. dump this guy & move on. if you already ask yourself "why should i waste my time?" then you are and have been ready to move on for a while...

Answer 7

Girl you need to get a life!! Your only 18 years old, you shouldn't be tied down at that age wondering if he will be better. There are other better fishes in the sea and he sounds like a big time loser and all he wants to do is dress like a street boy. Even though he is your first, there might be someone out there who will be better for you and actually finishe school:-]. So i think you should break up with him cause he is not worth the time of day. Cause he doesn't have a goal and trust me he wodn't change ok.

Answer 8

Violet, the fact that you recognize the importance of a good education tells me that you ARE indeed a classy girl, and you are trying to help your boyfriend succeed in life so that you can both grow and become a solid couple. The fact is though, people will only change IF they truly want to. You are both young, and still finding out who you are on the inside. Don't nag him, but continue encouraging him to at least finish high school. As far as his taste in clothing - good luck with that! Most guys who go for the 'bad boy' look aren't likely to change. I wish you well! God bless!

Answer 9

Well it sounds to me like he has no goals and no ambition. There are many people that have ADHD and they have finished High School and even graduated from college. I think that is just an excuse for him not to excel. Seems to me like he only wants to do the bare minimum. If this is what you want then stay with him; However if you want more for yourself then I suggest you find someone who has the same goals and values that you have.

Answer 10

If you don't want to be with him don't. It sounds like you feel you must take responsibility for your boyfriends actions. You have to live your life with or without him. You didn't say you care for him and you love him, so if you don't care for him in the way he does for you it is not fair to either of you. Also, you can't make someone go to school. Although you think it's best and he will be farther ahead society-wise, school is not for everyone and the more you push, it'll just annoy him. Just listen to your heart. Judging from your post alone, you don't love him in the same way, so let him down gently. :) Good luck in whatever you choose!