I think my fiance has OCD...?

Question

he has always had weird little quirky things he does. But the past 7 or 8 months or so, he has been REALLY intense with the "weird little things". Like sheets on the bed being put on in the right order or not being able to sleep in that bed, wont eat ANYTHING green or yellow, lights on electronics need to be in perfect lines (he WILL measure to be sure), volume on digital stereos must be on even #s OR a multiple of 3, he needs to tuen a pillow over 4 times before lying on it, he needs to take the same way to work every day or has such a bad panic issue he can't drive at all.
It is getting so that we fight about it a lot (I am also 4 mo pregnant with our 2nd child), because I can't take all this time out of our familys day to make sure things are how he wants them. He says he has panic attacks and cant breathe when things aren't "right"-- I tried getting him to see a dr about it, but he says hes fine and wont talk about it. How do I get him to talk to someone? I cant take it lately!

Answer 1

Melanie - I am not a doctor, but what you describe sounds pretty typical for OCD. I can imagine how this is increasing your stress since you are pregnant. Will he go see someone? There truly is good solutions for OCD and he...nor you...would have to go through this. MG

Answer 2

This sounds like OCD, but a professional should get involved as soon as possible. Most insurance programs cover mental health; figure out why we won't go.

"He says he has panic attacks" and "he says he's fine" do not make sense. Denial is the first struggle to overcome. Keep up your web research, check out OCD discussion forums.

Start from there, and begin to address this issue early in your pregnancy. Most importantly, don't give up!

Good luck.

Answer 3

Email him or put printed papers between his things about what OCD is, and true stories about it...

Just surf the net, finding anything SIMPLE to understand when reading quickly... and email it to him, or print it and put it for him...

Pretend as though you never did this thing, don't go saying "Honey, did you read what I emailed you?"... just don't mention unless he does...

Being able to link between what he read and his behavior will help him (maybe, hope so) move from the state of denial he is in, towards understanding what he's going through... that's the first step...

You can't shove him into a dr's office without lettin him confess at least to himself, that something is not right in his behavior.

Answer 4

Yes, first he needs to see his family doctor. There are antidepressants that help a lot with OCD symptoms. They are called SSRI antidepressants. Then he will need to see a therapist to help him break the habits and get over his panic attacks. I had OCD bad when I was a kid. I do understand. Thank God I grew out of a lot of it, but when I get stressed out, it rears up again.

Answer 5

Hang in there. Sound like possibly OCD. Check the DSM- IV (the bible of mental illnesses). Some of it is online ( not sure of site name, but Google DSM or try 1 of these links:
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM IV)
http://www.nami.org
I have OCD. It's a bugger to deal with. There are many suppot sroups for the "consumer", i.e. the person who has OCD, and their families. Nami has good resources.

Answer 6

CLASSIC ocd symptoms! i dont have it,but some of my family members do,and believe me,it becomes increasingly harder to live with.i wish i had an answer for u,if he wont go for help,u cant force him.but their are websites about ocd,maybe reading them will lead u to a family group that can at least help u deal with it.he is in denial.he has every symptom in the book.ocd can be helped,give him some literature or books from local library-he will probably get angry,but,maybe,he will eventually recognise himself in the descriptions and decide to get help.good luck.

Answer 7

He definitely has OCD and it's out of control, but you already know that. You can't make him get help if he doesn't recognize it. Pointing it out wont help, all you can do is be patient with him. Instead of telling him how weird he is (which he already thinks he is) go on line and do research on OCD, there are also support groups you can join.

Answer 8

As a guy who has O.C.D. I understand what he goes through. I have trouble sleeping in beds that have holes in them or tears, I can't use spoons or bowls that aren't plastic. I can't touch a shower or a tub with my skin and must use sandals or rags. I have to touch or do things in a series of numbers or repetitions to get them to feel "right" and if I don't.. it's an awful feeling.

I went after it started to cause me great anxiety, and someone diagnosed my symptoms. I did pills for a while and it helped. Things improved for me, not worsened. How to get him to go? You might have to start scowering Google on O.C.D. to find stories and things similar to what he experiences. There is help and in ways he may not imagine exist or be aware of. You need to tell him his habits cause you some stress and anxiety and you want to see the best for him, for you, and for your future child.

Answer 9

He is OCD. There's really no doubt. I don't think you could ever convince him to go see someone. No one wants to admit they have a problem.

I suggest maybe renting a movie about someone with OCD or watching MONK or leaving literature around the house for him to see...

He's really suffering, so try to be patient. Hopefully he will go see someone and they can treat him.

Good luck.

Answer 10

That sounds like more than just a mild case of OCD. I had some issues similar to his. He MUST see a Dr. about this. Otherwise, it's just going to get worse. Does he not see the time he's wasting with these silly little rituals (though not silly to him). Good luck with this one, sounds like you need it.