been dating this guy for a month now and all is good so far.. i mean he's considerate, reliable, helpful and somebody i could talk to! he also very honest and a bit critical sometimes... all in all he's cool, but he said something that bothered me last week... he said if you're looking for love in NY, you're looking to get hurt, and the best thing to do is get a puppy because a puppy won't lie to you! he then contradicted his statemented by saying if you love me, i'll love you back, huh? i'm 26 and don't want to waste my time on somebody who doesn't believe in love.. i've also been hurt by love in the past.. but don't say it doesn't exist... he's a nice guy, but i'm wondering if am wasting my time.. what do you guys think?
2007-01-17 05:26:28 · 7 answers · asked by chocy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Step back and get some perspective on this thing.
You're 26. What's the hurry? You've got your whole life ahead of you.
You've been dating this guy a month - what's the hurry? It's way too soon to think you know each other well enough to be in love - lust maybe, but not love. I've been married for ten years. I'm still learning new things about this man after all this time. How well can you know someone in a month? In just a month, he could be concealing that he's a total jerk. Once you get to really know him, you might not even like him.
If you haven't made an explicit understanding with this guy that you're only going to date him, keep your options open and keep meeting people. Keep your dating relationships at a friendly level until you feel like you know someone shares (or at least respects) your values. Be upfront with them that you're going to see other people until and unless something serious develops. And don't be exclusive with one person unless you've made an explicit agreement to do so. And casually mentioning in conversation that you only date one person at a time does not cut it - that's just bait to get you to think it's exclusive.
Focus on building a great life for yourself and surround yourself with likeminded people, and love will find you.
2007-01-17 05:49:33 · answer #1 · answered by goicuon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of girl its only been a month... maybe how he feels about love now can change in two months... you have to give it time. But I do think you should talk to him ask him what exactly he is looking for and let him know what you are looking for and what you want. If you see that both of you want totally different things then you will know if you are wasting your time or not.
2007-01-17 05:33:08 · answer #2 · answered by Nina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him and telling him you dont want to waste your time. Looks like he is still hurt or have trust issues, something happened to him in the past to make him think that way. Just let him know how you feel and clear things up w him
2007-01-17 05:30:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask him point-blank if he doesn't believe that love exists. Have a conversation about his perceptions of it. If he even says something akin to love not existing, then get rid of him while you still can. He'll just end up getting confused as the relationship progresses and I think you'd be wasting your time.
2007-01-17 05:32:45 · answer #4 · answered by funnygrrl19 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a jerk- REgardless of how reliable and honest....blahblah...
Is he saying that he won't love you, unless you say it or feel it first? That is kind of immature isn't it?
Maybe the guy just can't express it, but if his comments are that crast about the puppy thing, then maybe you could try for a more sensitive dude...
2007-01-17 05:32:12 · answer #5 · answered by juicy13500 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET A DOG...MEN ARE WORTH TRYING TO FIGURE WHAT THEY ARE TRYING TO SAY...IF HE CAN'T COME RIGHT OUT AND SAY WHATS ON HIS MIND THEN ITS WASTING YOUR TIME.YOU DONT HAVE TIME TO FIGURE HIS RIDDLES OUT YOU HAVE A LIFE TOO.
2007-01-17 05:32:07 · answer #6 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ohh gezz.. i thought u were going away to Florida w/ him..i bet there is no guy hu?
2007-01-18 09:29:27 · answer #7 · answered by Mystic Bell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋