Am I wrong for not wanting to change a 5 yr old boys' diaper?

Question

I recently started babysitting for a friend of mine and her 5 yr old son is still in diapers and I do not feel comfortable changing him. To me, it is not normal for even a 3 or 4 yr old to be in diapers, let alone a 5 yr old! I could see if maybe he was a special needs child or was autistic or slow or disbled in some way, but the child is perfectly normal and healthy. And he's not even in Pull-ups! S+he has him wearing regular diapers! I don't know what to do....What should I say to my friend becuase I refuse to change a 5 yr old boys' diaper, but I'm afraid she will get mad at me! HELP!

I just want to add something...I have no problem changing diapers, I have a 2 yr old daughter (who has been potty trained+ since 19 months by the way), so I am used to changing diapers. But a normal, healthy 5 yr old boy is fully capable of using the toilet! I have the feeling I'm going to have to quit because I can't see myself changing his diapers! Diapers are for babies, not 5 yr old children!!!! It's not normal!

Answer 1

I am with you there 100% that boy should be potty trained, but you cant leave him wet or dirty while he is in you care. Why not try and get him to use the toliet.

Answer 2

I agree with you. There is something very disturbing about having a 5 year old in diapers. Most kids are in kindergarten by that age and i KNOW that elementary school teachers DO NOT change diapers. That is inappropriate and weird. If anything it seems strange that the parent(s) are allowing this to happen. It could be a case for neglect or some sort of abuse. I would not babysit and i would tell the parents exactly what you are saying that you don't feel its appropriate for you to be changing a 5 year olds diapers. Sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen. Stick to your gut instinct on this one.

Answer 3

Tell her that it is time to potty train the kid, and say that you will help. Explain to the kid, without stressing him, that when he wants to poo he should say so and help him use the potty. Encourage him and make this seem like a pleasant game. Don't make a fuss when he doesn't succeed either. If you can't do this, then don't babysit this child. babysitting is not an easy job and it entails patience and some disgusting things!
Plus, the boy should be going to kindergarten or pre-school, in order to get ready for school etc. That would require to get over the diaper problem. But whatever you do, the boy must not remain with his dirty diapers on, so either change them, or potty train him, or don't baby sit him.

Answer 4

if she gets mad at you tell her the facts! YOU ARE BEING A GOOD FRIEND! no it is not normal for a five year old to be in a diaper. But you also have to realize that she probably has a different outlook on it. I knew someone who was still breast feeding her 4-year-old son! I told her that it can't possibly be good on the childs independence. Same way with diapers, if he wears diapers it is not teaching him independence. Sit down with your friend and talk to her about your concerns. If you really aren't the kind of person to approach another, then try to drop hints about the child and hope she will catch on. You are being a good friend, DON'T think otherwise.

Answer 5

Some children, especially boys, take a longer time to potty train. If you took on the job of babysitting how can you sit there and let the child walk around with a dirty diaper?! Here is a suggestion --Pull Ups! If the child is 5 and has no mental challenges I am sure he is capable of pulling up his own pull-up. You might want to suggest this to your friend. The childs welfare has to come first.

Answer 6

my 2.5 year old son is not potty trained either.....but I am not that worried about it yet. I think you have 2 choices -- a, quit for a while and just see what he does, that is where I am -- somedays my son never uses the potty and some days he does most of the time.......or b, put him in underwear -- no more pull ups and let him really understand that he will get wet if he pees. BTW, I would recommend having him SIT on the potty at this age. My son sits and pushes his penis into the potty so the pee doesn't go all over the floor. Since he is so resistent and relucatant I would take a little reprive and maybe delay preschool until next fall when he is good and ready.

Answer 7

I agree with you. A five year old should not be in diapers unless they have a medical condition.
Start potty training him urself.
Let her know that you feel uncomfortable because these days u have to be careful, if anyone sees u they may call Child Protective Service or something if they take it the wrong way. They mistake it for u molesting him or something

Answer 8

Let her know, because it's not normal for a 5 yrs old to still be wesring diapers. It makes them lazy and the parent probably too, because she didn'y potty train him.
Pull ups are for kids that know that they need to go, but sometimes get distracted when they are playing and forget to go.


Toilet tactics
Have him watch his dad, or show him how to aim his pee into the bowl. To improve his aim, drop a few Cheerios or goldfish crackers in the toilet, then offer him a fun sticker for hitting a few. If he's making poop, give him a book or play some music to encourage him to sit.

Answer 9

Talk to her. Do you have other child care experience? If so, maybe say, that it has been your ecperience that most children are potty trained by this age. This child should be starting school soon. Something needs to be done. Does it matter if she gets mad at you? You should be doing what is in this childs best intrest. Just because you have a child does not mean you know how to raise one. It sounds like this girl could use some help.

Answer 10

Goodness...I would say this woman has a problem. No, you are definitely NOT wrong. Why are you babysitting for this child? I taught kindergarten for many years before retiring and once had a boy who soiled his pants daily. The office secretary had been cleaning him up, but finally, after discussing this with my building principal, we decided the boy would have to "sit in it" until the parent or a relative came in to clean up their child. It was amazing how quickly the boy became trained. (They had kept him in diapers as well.) Perhaps you should offer your friend a choice...you come and clean up your child or I no longer babysit until he's trained. No one should have to tolerate this. It's not the child's fault. It's obviously the parent who's neglected to take the initiative here. If the child has been checked by a physician and there's no physical reason for this to happen, he should have been trained....years ago! (My husband said to charge her extra bucks...big bucks...for each diaper changed if you decide to hang in there.)

Answer 11

I'd be really uncomfortable with this, too.. I think the best solution to your problem is to stop babysitting for them. That way you aren't the bad guy. If you keep changing the diapers you'll be pacifying the problem.. If you try to toilet train the kid, the parents may think you're overstepping your boundaries.. Just come up with a good excuse for not being able to watch the little guy.