Okay...So I met this guy on new years eve and he just came to virginia ....so like we met and he liked me a lot and ever since then we've been talking on the phone...I have just recently broken up with my ex boyfriend...I didn't not have such a good relationship since he wanted to have a change of heart (a join his christian-hood again) (which i completly understand and I let him go) so like...that same day I called the guy I met on new years eve...we were talking and he asked me to marry him! I said yes and we started making all these plans...The next day he calls me and he asks me to come to Live with him (PuertoRico) I am just so confused because I like himand i've learned that its better to learn to love than to love and get hurt! He wants to kids when he turns 20!And i have plans on going to the army and completing my career! he is coming back in 5 months and I guess we might get married...im only 17 but getting married is a huge thing because we are catholics...what should i do?
2007-01-17 04:58:30 · 30 answers · asked by ChIkaBuEnA 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
oh please. I can't believe you would even ask.
2007-01-17 05:01:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a big step. I feel you should wait a while longer before getting married. You just broke off a relationship. Relationships takes time to heal from. You may think you are okay. But feeling and emotions have a way of showing back up in time. So just to make sure you are ready I will just continue to date this guy for a while. If this is your husband to be he will be there no matter how long it takes you. A long engagement would be really nice at this time. Love is so beautiful we want to rush it and not allow it go grow slowly. It's better to let love grow a little everyday then to step into it full force and no one knows the other for real. I'm happy you have found someone you would like to married just consider the long engagement and watch and see the love you have been dreaming about come to life.
2007-01-17 05:20:37 · answer #2 · answered by relationcounseling 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether we give you our opinion or not you're still the one who's going to make the big decision, so why don't you ask yourself this- Will I be happy moving away, leaving my career, my family, my friends and everything I'm familiar with. ....... or do you see yourself just a stay at home mom in a just less than a year or so? Are you ready for motherhood and of being a housewife? Are you going to be happy in 2 or 3 or 10 or 50 years without even experiencing what the world can offer you? You are young and as you've mentioned you have plans regarding a career, which one is more important to you?
Explore, experience life, have fun and if he really loves you he can wait a couple of years or so then you can get married. Don't go rushing into something that you might just regret afterward.
Goodluck with your decision........
2007-01-20 10:24:06 · answer #3 · answered by linzee604 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is WAY too fast and you are too young!! Don't move there right now. Have a long distance relationship for a while, at least a year. Or have him come live in Virginia for a while. Don't make such a huge change in your life at your age. You'll end up regretting it. If he loves you, then he'll have no problem with you wanting to take it slow and wait a while. Get to know each other more.
2007-01-17 07:11:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say no you shouldn't get married. 17 is a little young. if you have plans for your life you need to follow through with them because you will be able to find someone later. Who knows you might find someone in the army. I got married when I was 22 and I think I was too young. Anyway, can you honestly say that you think that you could learn to love this man. I understand your philosophy but there is no hurry, you still have plenty of years. Just remember you should live your life without regrets and being Catholic means that unless there is reason for annulment you cannot get divorced are you really able to deal with that. Seeing as you just got out of a relationship I would say take time to find yourself and then worry about men later.
2007-01-17 05:51:25 · answer #5 · answered by Heather J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You met on New Years ever. This is January 17. You're 17. I guess he's around that age. Why the rush? You can not possibly know that he's the guy you want to marry after a couple of weeks. He can not know that you are the one he wants to marry after a couple of weeks. Just reading your future plans and his it becomes obvious that your lives are not going to easily mesh. Someone will have to sacrifice.
You really need to slow down. Think about this. It's all very fast with no real foundation.
2007-01-17 05:13:16 · answer #6 · answered by JB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should figure out what you want to do. You dont sound too keen on the idea of getting married, and you are right, marriage is a scared sacrament that catholics take very much to heart. If you are second guessing or asking people, dont do it yet. You should let him know your feelings and that you see getting married as too serious yet, and you have so many dreams you want to pursue without giving them up to move down there with him. Let him know if it is meant to be, it will happen with time. GOod luck!
2007-01-17 05:03:31 · answer #7 · answered by overwhelmed85 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
NO NO NO DO NOT GET MARRIED JUST YET. u just met the guy and u like him u never said love. u need love i a marriage not just like. u can always learn to like someone but not love.who says u will ever learn to love him. so many folks put there dreams behind and get married but never reach there dreams. if he really cares then he will wait. i m not saying he isnt mr right but if he is he will let u have ur dreams of what u want to do and then get married later
2007-01-17 07:02:32 · answer #8 · answered by debbie o 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you know, i would kind of be with him longer, then after a year of knowing each other real well and talking then you 2 could live with each other, but not get married for about a year. I would be careful though if you don't know him well....seriously. it isn't good. So i would say no but to go out with him for a few years and only if you totally know that you love each other completely.
2007-01-17 05:08:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No don't marry him. Do you know anything about the laws in Puerto Rico on domestic violence? Do you know that he wants a wife to keep his house and kids? Will he concidder your feelings on anything? Or will it be the mans way because men are the boss of the household and family? Do you know that he isn't marrying for love? My INTUITION IS SCREAMING NO and that he might just be trying to get you there for any reason...maybe not marriage. Maybe to smuggle, maybe to pimp you, or what ever. What will you be able to do if he takes your id, visa, money, etc. Who would you turn to? You'd be stuck and I don't think law enforcement would even bother to listen to a lady. It would be crazy to jepordize yourself this way and any children you may have with this guy.
2007-01-17 05:19:28 · answer #10 · answered by Tasha 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
NO! Don't change your plans just for some guy you just met. I changed mine for a guy. Now I'm stuck in a loveless marraige, that I can't leave because he's threatened to run away with my two kids. Not my idea of a good marriage. Nothing good can come of it. Run!
2007-01-17 06:12:47 · answer #11 · answered by Stephanie W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋