Why is it that with this girl I doubt myself every step of the way? I constantly talk myself down in my head..

Question

I'm 20, and this girl at work gave me her # on christmas eve and we've gone out once. B4 that I had never asked a girl out (even though I wanted to several times), and from august to december would have bad episodes of depression from being lonely without friends, and convinced that I would grow old and die alone. Then I got this girl's # and felt good for a few weeks, last weekend I somehow convinced myself she didn't like me (I don't even know how the hell...) and was practically crying mentally beating myself up. Now last night she said she would call me back and didn't so I left her a message saying I'd call tomorrow. Now I'm doubting myself all over again. I've almost predetermined in my head that this will not work out, that I will be lonely once more, and that I will in fact die alone...

What in God's name is wrong with me?

she's had to cancel two other dates, once for an appointment, and once because she couldn't find a sitter.

Answer 1

Come on now- you are only 20 and already thinking about dying alone? My father-in-law married at 55- his wife was 25.... so you see- you have plenty of time.
You do sound very depressed. Are you getting enough sleep? You are so afraid to be disappointed.... does this stem from your experience growing up? Have you been abandoned by your Mom? You must have been disappointed badly in the past- as a kid maybe. I'm just trying to understand what is going on.... a psychologist will help you with this better than me or anyone of us here, though.
Go ahead and buy the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People- and read it. One important thing mentioned in there is to be proactive to bring changes. Habit 4 is called Think Win/Win and Habit 5 : Seek to Understand, Then to be Understood. It teaches you about personal management.
I don't live far away from you- Kailua is a cat leap away from where we live. You should check out New Hope. Pastor Wayne will make you laugh so hard, you will forget about your worries during and way after the service. (Farrington Highschool services are Saturdays 7:00 p.m., Sundays: 7:00 a.m., 9:00a.m., and 11:00 a.m.) One thing Pastor Wayne teaches is that there are areas in our lives that only God can manage for us. Aloha and God bless.