I've ben with a guy for about 5 years. The first 2 years he has been really really good to me. Then things turned. He hit me the first time in the 3rd year of our relationship. He said that he was sorry and that he will never do it again. But , thing got worse and he did it several more times. it's hard to belive but i really love this guy and I know that he loves me. He just doesn't know how to put things together and how to control his temper. He has always been there for me ALWAYS no matter what he is there ( It's hard to find someone like that). He broke up with me but I still want him back because i believe everyone can change and I believe everybody deserve a second chance. What do you think ?
2007-01-17 04:47:22 · 35 answers · asked by daga 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i am not going to condemn you cause all of us get in situations that are not what we expected, i dont condon the hitting and wouldnt myself be in that situation, but you are wanting advice, so this is what i think, if you really love him and ahve that much faith in him, then tell him that but under your rules, he has to get anger management and maybe couseling. IF he doesnt agree then you know what sweetie he dont deserve you. And you can walk away with i tried to make it work and tried to help him, sometimes people cant be helped, but if you have faith he can, then TRY to help him the best you can, but you ahve to be honest and you have to set rules that he ever hits you again, that you are gone and you have to put that in your head and stick to it, that is the hard part! good luck! Bubbles
2007-01-17 04:54:03 · answer #1 · answered by Bubbles 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No no no. Love does not involve being ABUSED!!!! How did you feel when you were being hit? Loved? You have already given him a second chance: you stayed with him when he hit you the first time and it happened again. He is not a man of his words. The longer you let this relationship, or the feelings you have about this relationship continue, the longer it will take for you to let go and find someone who RESPECTS you- your mind and body. You deserve someone better. Do this, not for him, but for you. You are better than that.
2007-01-17 05:01:27 · answer #2 · answered by maddi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are going to have to leave him, now! I was in an abusive relationship and things never changed. I loved the guy, had a baby with him and always thought he would change. He never did and still hasn't. Ii was the hardest thing I ever did. But now I have a whole new life and I wouldn't change it at all. My boyfriend is the greatest guy ever! Give yourself a chance to find someone who Willl treat you with respect always! I promise it wil be worth it! Abuse really puts your mind in chaos. After the first hit should have been his second chance. Please listen there is a million fish in the sea. Move on with your life you wont regret it!
2007-01-17 05:00:06 · answer #3 · answered by Valerie W 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It depends on several things! 1st are there children involved, 2ND are you willing to except him and all of his flaws, and 3rd why exactly do you want to be with him (besides what you have stated). 1: If there are STAY OUT!!!!!!!!! 2: When you love someone unconditionally we are always going to want the best for them, however we have to remember that we can not change people. If you get back together with him expecting things to be different you will probably be setting yourself up for disappointment because he has shown you who he is and it is your choice to except him or move on. Don't get me wrong I am not saying that he is right for hitting you, but you can't blame him for a situation that you have put yourself in because you have decided to go back into an unstable relationship. 3rd : I think you need to determine what is it that you are so in love with and how you can give it to yourself. things happen for so many reasons and it is not our job to question them however we must be responsible enough to learn from them and make the best decision. Keep in mind that people are brought into our lives for different reasons, some are forever and some are for a moment. Figure out which he is and make the best of YOUR life. Good luck be strong. I'm not sure what your beliefs are but prayer always helps me! -Peace
2007-01-17 05:14:44 · answer #4 · answered by Ree 3 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know the truth deep in your heart. And I believe you already know that if you get back together with this guy he will in now way stop hurting you physically. I mean, if you do not value yourself to end this abusive relationship, what reason would he have to value you and treat you well right?
If you stay until one day he beats you until you lay down dead on your kitchen floor - It will be too late. Right now you can do something about being abused and you should do it - GET OUT!! HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU, HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU.
Love is Kind, selfless, patience, thoughtful and it causes no harm. What you feel for him is not love it is fear. Do not confuse love with fear. What he feels for you is not love, it is the need to control and release his anger and self-worth issues. Do not wait until you are dead - no getting out for you then.
Get some help, some counseling and get out. Love yourself and yes there are lots of men out there who are kind and loving. You can and will find a man who will truly love you and treat you the way God intended for you to be treated as his wonderful creation.
GET OUT BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE AND DO NOT GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE - THE OTHER CHANCE MAY CAUSE YOU YOUR LIFE.
2007-01-17 04:55:26 · answer #5 · answered by fancyface1 l 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You shouldnt have to pay the price when he "doesnt know how to put things together & control his temper ". I think that he should get his chit together & grow up before getting in a relationship again. Its NOT hard to find someone else to treat you right. I wouldnt walk away from him,,Id run. Be glad its over,,you wasted too much time already.
2007-01-17 04:54:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He hit you and he said," that he was sorry and that he would never do it again"! The point of the matter is that he hit you and i don't think that you go back with him "sorry". he is going to continue on hitting you and that is not right. You don't want to live your life like that. I don't know if you have kids with this guy but it is not good for kids to see this. they will grow up thinking that it is okay for guys to hit girls. I think that you all ready gave him his second chance and he f*** up. He continue on hitting you. You know what to do and what is right.
2007-01-17 05:13:59 · answer #7 · answered by beauty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to hurt your feelings but you might have to find a new guy.He need to go get help for himself.Nobody can make him realize it but him.You might have to hang out with your friends until he can make up his mind of what he wants so that way you are not pushing the subject.Good luck honey.Next time he hits you call the cops that way he will not hit you again.No man should ever hit any women!I don't care if he is the president of the United State.
2007-01-17 04:55:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If he hit you, you don't need him. Trust me I know you think that it will be hard to find someone to replace him but you can do it. Trust me I did. I thought my ex of 2 years basically was great. He hit me and all that all I could think is its his temper he won't do it again but it just got worse. You don't need that. You need to just leave him alone. I have faith there is someone better out there for you.
2007-01-17 04:52:59 · answer #9 · answered by Sarah Beth 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes both of U love each other. But, please consider the following very carefully. If your answer is yes, than its your choice.
1. Can U stand his hitting habit ?
2. Do U allow him to hit your mother too ?
3. Do U anticipate that he will also hit your children after getting married ?
4. Don't U think that one day he will turn very violent ?
2007-01-17 05:04:09 · answer #10 · answered by atbt 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋