Tacky to ask for cash?

Question

When you are at the bridal shower, is it okay to let all the ladies know the bride and groom prefer cash as their wedding gift?

Answer 1

Hmm this is tricky. The key is to tell one or two people that you know will spread the word.
Do not announce anything official....that is not appropriate.
However, the idea of telling a few women at the bridal shower is not a bad idea, because women usually buy the wedding gifts and women will spread the word.
For sure...lol

Answer 2

If asked, friends and family and the wedding party can tell the truth, the bride and groom would like money. Have a nice truthful reason why they want money ready if someone asks.. And/or have a reason ready why they do not want gifts: "you know, Jim and Nancy were batchelors for a long time before they met, they both have established households, and they do not need a lot. I know they would think money is great."
"Jim and Nancy are saving up for a house, I know they would like money."
I do not see why the bride or the groom could not answer honestly, especially if it is a close friend or relative asking. But they should not bring up the subject and be asking directly for any gift, it is rude.
And no, a public service announcement at the shower is rude, too. Wait until somebody asks, then volunteer info. It would not be rude to tell someone to feel free, it's OK to pass the info along, if they wish.
And for those guests out there, it is really nice, and acceptable if you ask, or call, to see what the bride and groom want, or to ask where they are registered.
And know that in some cultures, the giving of money is the preferred way to gift. In the USA, it used to, within my lifetime, rude to give money. It was for the parents only to give money, the giving of money was a statement of lazyness, or cluelessness on the part of the giver. Things have changed, now Brides and Grooms want money, and large sums of it.
And for you guests, we are supposed to use what the bride and groom are spending on us for the reception as a guide for gifting, though it is supposed to be rude to ask how much that is. Go figure.

Answer 3

I'm probably going to get 1,000,000 thumbs-down for this, but yes, it is tacky to ask for cash.

It's tacky to ask for gift cards.

The reason I say it's tacky because by asking for cash or gift cards is implying in so many words that the guests will be bringing a gift (and while we'd like to hope all our guests would bring a gift, the truth is, not all do), and that the couple is essentially saying to their guests "We appreciate you coming. But when you bring the gift, don't worry about putting thought into choosing something for us. Just give us the money instead."

If someone wants to buy the couple a gift, they should have a registry started to give them ideas as to what to get. Guests get an idea of the couple's tastes, color schemes, etc. By no means is a guest at a bridal shower or wedding obligated to buy from the regsitry, and often they don't.

Instead, let the guests purchase what they like for the couple. The couple should thank them graciously and sincerely for their generosity and for the thought & trouble involved in picking out a gift.

And if it's REALLY that big of a deal, then, AFTER they've thanked the giver of the gift, they could return it if they can't use it. Hope that helps.

Answer 4

The bride herself should NEVER do this, she should never hint for gifts at all. The maid of honor and/or bridesmaids are responsible for answering these sorts of questions. No official announcement should be made, but the maid of honor could drop the information into a casual conversation.

It is perfectly acceptable to "register" for cash instead of material gifts... in some cultures it is traditional to give cash. Many couples do this to pay for their honeymoon or give to charity. It's generally best to let people know what the money will be used for.

Answer 5

It could be considered tacky...however, today most brides and grooms are comming from their own homes (with roomates, furniture and all), to go to their new homes with their spouse who also has a plethora of stuff...when my hubbs and I were engaged we were so crazy with all the wedding blitz that we never made a gift registry or anything...which lead to people asking us point blank what we wanted...and of course "on the spot", we were never able to think of we needed and/or wanted...so we took the easy road out and asked for cash or gift cards, explaining that neither one of us could think of anything at the moment...our thank you notes will say things like;

"Dear Aunt Joanne,

Thank you so much for coming to our wedding, we hope you had as much fun as we did. Thank you so much for your lovely gift of a State Farm Auto Insurance payment. It was exactly what we needed!

Love,
Your Favorite Newlyweds....

Luckily, our family and friends are (for the most part) really relaxed and nontraditional, so we did't have to fear them being all insulted.

Answer 6

Not tacky, depending on how it's done.

The main thing is, don't announce it. Wait until you are asked. And you will be asked.

It's tacky to put where you've registered on invitations, too.

People will ask where you have registered when they do not see it on the invitations and when they ask, then you can say "We really don't need anything, but if you'd like to give us a giftcard or cash, that would be most helpful." Honestly answering a question ISN'T tacky.

I registered, did not print that on my invitations, and 95% of the people I invited asked where I'd registered. The ones who didn't ask gave me things like cash, giftcards and wine, anyway.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Go for the cash.
This way they can buy what they think they need.
Instead of getting some junk they really don't need or highly dislike.
Money makes the world go round.

Answer 8

That's definately okay! Lots of couples find they don't need the typical steak-knife-dining-set and would really prefer some cash to help them get started on their new life. Drop heavy hints in your invitations saying that your attic's full of the necessities so "alternate forms of congratulations would be greatly appreciated". Good luck and I wish you both a good life together.

Answer 9

It would be great idea, but I think in most cases it's considered tacky. What about a gift certificate to their favorite store?

Answer 10

Tacky, impolite, rude.... just nasty. Don't do it.