I know someone and she is getting married. She has no friends to be the bridesmaids...only her mother...no siblings. Her groom has two friends. The do not have any more friends to invite to the wedding. They will probably elope...have you ever known anyone like this?
2007-01-17 04:24:31 · 16 answers · asked by jrhod263 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I can't step in to be her bridesmaid...I will be in Jamaica when she weds.
2007-01-17 04:30:56 · update #1
I think there are a couple of options to consider, and the couple should think through them and decide what makes the most sense for them.
The first real decision is to decide if its right for them to have a traditional wedding ceremony at all. One purpose of the traditional wedding ceremony is to allow family, friends, and the community to witness the wedding and take part in the celebration of it. Since the family/friends thing isnt really present here, it might make more sense for this couple to go to a vacation area (Mexico, Vegas, Hawaii ... or even to a beautiful place just down the road) and have a small very private ceremony with just the two of them and a small handful in attendance that really want to be there. People do this all the time and it is completely acceptable
A second thing to consider is that you don't have to do the traditional "groomsmen/bridesmaids" thing either. The wedding should be about the bride and groom and making it what they want. It doesn't have to follow traditional norms - weddings come in all shapes and sizes from the huge church with 20 attendants to two people standing in the county courthouse. The ceremony, while important, isn't nearly as critical as the commitment the two people make.
Its critical for the bride and groom to work and talk together to do whats best for both of them and do what makes both of them happiest. This will always be a moment to remember so the couple should make it about them first.
2007-01-17 04:49:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think its as sad as you may think it is. If people happen not to have close friends at the time they get married they do the next thing that is right in their situation.
We live with what we get. My father wasn't living when I got married, and it stunk; but we adjusted things about the wedding to fit the situation, and what else can you do? No, it wasn't how I wished it could have been, but the wedding is, after all, only one day and - in the scheme of life and the marriage itself - it isn't that big a deal.
People who are getting married to be married to the person they're marrying often only care about that and see the details of the wedding as less important. If there are enough people to be bridesmaids (and the person wants bridesmaids at all) they go with that. If not, they do the next thing.
I've been a bridesmaid several times, and - let's face it - the only real role of bridesmaid is to pad the wedding procession to make it look like a bigger deal. I had a friend who asked me to be maid-of-honer and who decided not to have any of her four sisters in the wedding as bridesmaids, so not everyone cares about the "padding". Some people actually want to keep the focus on the ceremony and the couple and nothing else because they don't want to add "fluff" to something they see as very meaningful and special.
So don't feel to bad about your friend. Either she doesn't really care very much anyway or else she does but will deal with it.
My father wasn't there for my wedding and never got to see any of my children - and that was far from how I wanted things - but I've lived my life quite nicely and not particularly torn apart about a situation that was crummy.
2007-01-17 12:44:59 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is the reason she doesn't have any friends because she is a B*&#@? If so, then it's her own fault and if she wants to foster close friendships then she needs a swift kick and a lesson in being personable.
Otherwise, I don't think it is sad. Maybe they aren't social people and would rather spend time with their families. (When I got married, we only had our families and 1 or 2 close friends there.) Not everyone feels the need to be surrounded by a big social circle; some are happy with a very small group of friends, some prefer no friends, just family.
A wedding is a very special and important event, and just because you don't have a hundred people there, doesn't make it any less special.
It is nice that you are concerned, but if they are happy with the way things are, why are you worried about it?
2007-01-17 12:46:13 · answer #3 · answered by snwtiger76 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe they can have a small wedding in a backyard or a destination wedding with just their family and friends. Small weddings are great. I would say tell her not to elope though. Being any only child and running off on your mom like that on a very important day may cause more trouble. I know my mom would have not been to pleased if I had eloped.
2007-01-17 12:34:43 · answer #4 · answered by calivbmnky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really doesn't matter how many people there are to invit, nor does it matter how many are in the bridal party. A very small wedding is much less expensive anyway! If she is really concerned, though, she may want to ask co-workers, church members, and aquaintances to join in the celebration. The bridal party can consist of one person, and if she knows her fiance's friends well enough, one of them can stand up for her. There are dozens of other options if she wants to have a traditional wedding, and it definitely does not have to be akward or embarrassing for her. However, if she chooses to elope, then that is entirely her decision.
2007-01-17 12:36:48 · answer #5 · answered by Ashes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have her mom to stand there with her and only one guy for the hubby. even though shes her mother doesnt mean she cant be her friend too. after all nobody knows her better then her mom. and since it looks like a small wedding she really doesnt need all the bride and groom party stuff.
2007-01-17 15:11:09 · answer #6 · answered by debbie o 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I can't say I have. My husband and I are total hermits, we don't do much stuff outside home - however, we do have plenty of friends and associates we could invite to an event. But to all their own, maybe they're just not very social people, and are happier this way. Sounds to me like they're a good match; it's not sad, it's nice!
2007-01-17 12:44:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could be her bridesmaid. Throw her a bridal shower. Invite her over to meet some of your friends.
2007-01-17 12:29:18 · answer #8 · answered by michaellandonsmommy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you be a good person and offer to step in as a bridesmaid if she wants?
2007-01-17 12:28:23 · answer #9 · answered by Tiger by the Tail 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wonder if they're sad about it? Perhaps they've chosen to live that way-you know, keep to themselves. Maybe they like it that way.
Since there's nothing you can do, I wouldn't fret about it. Just give them all the support and love you can.
2007-01-17 12:59:34 · answer #10 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋