I don't have a car so I have to walk or take the bus everywhere. I am tired of so called friends saying "you walked here in this weather, didn't you get cold?" and guys that I have been out with saying, you poor thing, wish I could help you if you lived closer". Do people actually think I choose to walk in the bad weather? I have no choice if I want to get to work so why does everyone offer empty sypathy? I think if you don't want to or can't help, then keep your opinions and empty sympathy to yourself. what do you think??
2007-01-17 04:21:28 · 10 answers · asked by reallyfedup 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I think you're wrong. You call it "empty sympathy" but it's also a way for a person to show s/he understands your problem even if s/he can't do anything about it. I mean, what do you say if you learn that someone's spouse or parent or child died? You can't bring the dead person back to life so do you say nothing? Or do you try to show them you sympathize for the loss?
2007-01-17 05:55:36 · answer #1 · answered by AnOrdinaryGuy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Their just trying to be nice. I know it's kind of hard because their obvious answers but their only doing it to show that they care and sometimes they can't really say anymore. They wish they could make the extra effort and show you they care by giving you a ride but some people just can't do that, so they show they care by talking to you like that. Their not really thoughtless concerns, if they were thoughtless they wouldn't care, when they found out you walked in the cold weather. They'd say something like well that sucks, too bad for you. Be more considerate of the people who are being thoughtful.
2007-01-17 12:29:39 · answer #2 · answered by mda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That must be frustrating. Sometimes when people thoughtlessly say comments like that I just make a joke at their expense that makes them feel guilty about saying such a stupid thing. Like, in your case, if someone said "you walked here in this weather, didn't you get cold?", (since I'm guessing you're a slim person) say something like "Nah, fat people like me don't ever get cold, plus I have to work off all this excess weight by walking ridiculous distances by foot."
They'll probably stand there, and depending on how smart they are say "Whatever you're not fat..." (like an idiot who's too dense to catch the joke) or laugh and apologise seeing your point.
2007-01-17 13:12:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No sense in slamming on others for being concerned. Just laugh it off and say it 'makes ya tough' and leave no room for the conversation to progress. Don't dwell on it, and neither will they.
If you piss and moan to them about your miserable lot in life and having to walk in the rain, the human reaction is to offer sympathy. Make it sound like it's your choice (whether it is or not) and they'll get the sense that you are not in need of saving.
2007-01-17 12:34:44 · answer #4 · answered by Woz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart goes out to you,my dear.
Unfortunately, this is becoming more and more the norm. Our society has become saturated with selfishness. So much so that we find even visiting relatives a bother. Most people don't even know their neighbor's names anymore, much less take them a meal when they are sick or despaired.
We've become so incredibly busy doing for ourselves that we struggle to find time to do for others...
I know these words are not making your plight any easier, but I wanted you to take comfort in knowing that there are MANY of us who really hate what our society has become...a "mind your own business, **** off", kind of people. We realy do hate it, and yet, we know not what to do, except not act that way ourselves...
How sad and sweet you sound....they are probably missing out on the start of a wonderful friendship...
2007-01-17 12:32:45 · answer #5 · answered by montanacowgirlwannabee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are totally right and justified in how you feel. People can be such thoughtless morons.
The next time someone makes a dumb remark like that to you, ask them right outright if they realize what a stupid remark they are making...? I would.
2007-01-17 12:34:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are a bit crabby. You'd be the first to start moaning if no one gave a monkey's about you which, if that is your attitude, may soon be the case.
2007-01-17 12:26:41 · answer #7 · answered by penny century 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ignore the remarks are thoughtless and they are too stupid to know that they are stupid by asking those questions.
2007-01-17 12:28:03 · answer #8 · answered by Aliz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just thank them for their concern and leave it at that. They will get the message.
2007-01-17 12:24:48 · answer #9 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should suck it up and buy a car. Life is hard get used to it. We all had to. Good Luck George.
2007-01-17 12:27:06 · answer #10 · answered by george 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋