what do i DO?

Question

There's a girl I like (we'll call her Tina; i've known her for like 4 years), and she dated my best friend (we'll call him Aaron; who I've known since we were both like 5 years old). Well they broke up, for the second time, almost 8 months ago, and he keeps trying to get her back, but all he does is make her miserable. Tina has hinted to me that she likes me (she asked if I was single and told me she "had a crush on me" last year). I want to ask Tina out, but I don't know if it will mess up my friendship with Aaron... What do I do???? >_< I'm so confused!!

a few things to clear up:
1: Tina is not trying to use me, we've been good friends for about 3 1/2 years, she is sick of Aaron's crap (always making her feel bad).
2: Aaron does exactly that: make her feel bad, even though he's the one who has (both times) broken up with her to chase after a new girl, and both times it has failed miserably.
3: Although I am technically a "teen" (19), don't talk to me like i'm 13 or 14, that doesn't really help any =P thank you for your answers everyone (except "theman")

Answer 1

It will most likely ruin your friendship with Aaron, and you sound like a teen, so your "relationship" with this girl will probably last 6 months at most. So ask your friend how he'd feel if you dated his ex. He may lie anyways and say he'd be cool with it, but at least you'll know if he says not to, that you'd loose him as a friend. Friends are worth more than temporary girlfriends or boyfriends.

In a perfect world, people would be able to date whoever they wanted, cause if, say, my best friend started dating my ex, I'd be okay with that, because OBVIOUSLY it didn't work out between the 2 of us, but maybe my friend and ex will be a good couple. But that's not how it goes for most people... it's like they somehow "own" their ex.

EDIT: Okay, so this is a really late edit, but I just thought of something. If my best friend wanted to date my ex while I was still trying to win him back, I'd be pissed. Or even if I dumped him but was still recovering, I might be upset. So maybe you should give Aaron some time to move on, and then ask if it'd be okay.

Answer 2

Be a man.

This is what disinguishes men from ladies.

Ladies are cruel, they have no honor when it comes to seeking male partners, and will steal men from their female friends.

Men, on the other hand (that is, real men) value their friendships with males, and would never think of intruding on the romantic interests of their friends. Period.

So, find another lady.

One last point. Have you considered that "Tina" is using you to make Aaron jealous, or to mess with Aaron's mind? Girls will do that, you know. If you fall for this trap, you could wind up being humiliated and used by Tina, and also lose your friend Aaron.

Answer 3

You should be straight with your friend, if you do this instead of going behind his back, you'll have his respect and most likely he'll step aside, since he already had his chance. Plus, you won't be the bad friend who sneaks girlfriends away. The thing is, you can't really think of your relationship with Tina to really have any future, since your friend will always be your friend, will always be there, and Tina can't really call herself a nice girl after having donce both best friends, but hey, maybe she's into that, then you and Aaron will always have something to talk about.

Answer 4

This could very well be a no win situation for you. So you have to decide which is more important to you. Potentially severing a life-long guaranteed friendship with "Aaron"or a possible future that may or may not last (who knows?) with "Tina". It is a very huge gamble and it may be that she is making him miserable and not the other way around? Good Luck!

Answer 5

It will mess up your relationship with Aaron and the Tina may be playing you just to make Aaron upset. Don't fall for it, hit the books and do your best in life.

Answer 6

Tis a shame, but I'm afraid that there's no easy way to say this other to come right and say it. You can't do anything about this one other than walk away. There are always two sides to every story! If you're really a friend to Aaron, then you owe it to him to tell him what's going on. Let them have some time alone, then, take some time for yourself to analyze the situation. Sounds to me like somebody may be on the "rebound"! Good luck!!!

Answer 7

Would your friend "Aaron" do this to you? do you think that if your girlfriend liked him and he liked her would me make a move or would he keep silent about it? if you think that he is the type of person to do this to you than i would go for it. she obviously likes you, it just seems to me that she is waiting for you to let her know.
if your friend Aaron would not do this to you though than stay away. or if you just cant help it tell Aaron about the whole situation and see what he says. if he is a true friend he would see that they are obviously not meant to be if he keeps breaking her heart and leaving then just to come back again, and he will let you try to have what you want.

Answer 8

You really don't want to break up a life long friendship over a girl, which may happen since it sounds like he still has feelings for this girl. But then again, she could be the girl you'd keep forever, and you don't want to risk losing that either. I'd tell you to talk to your friend about it but if his feelings are still so strong for her, you may very well tick him off.
Your best bet is probably to just wait. Wait for him to get over her, and then you can make your move.
Sorry. I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 9

son, leave this alone. the last thing you want is to mess up a friendship with aaron. trust me, it will, if you try to pursue tina. if you value your friendship, then you have to walk away. it's the best thing you can do.

Answer 10

Be aware that asking Tina out could really do damage to your friendship with Aaron. You have to decide whether it is more important to you to go out with her or to preserve your friendship with him because it is a real possibility that he will feel betrayed if you go out with her. That is only a decision that you can make.