Legit question: Do I ignore it?

Question

My 4 year old daughter touches herself a lot. Half the time I dont even think she realizes it. I have told her stop a few times but dont want to tell her its bad. Is this normal at this age? Should I ignore it, make her stop, what? Suggestions on how to handle this please. And this is my daughter so keep the crast remarks to yourself.

Answer 1

I recently was talking to a kindergarten teacher. She said many girls will rub themselves on things because it feels good. She often has to correct them in school which can be embarassing. While that's understandable you need to teach her what is acceptable in public and what's not at home. At home, I believe, it's natural exploration. If you notice she is rubbing herself on things or with her own hands in public, let it be known that is not a good thing. It's just a manner we all had to learn when we were younger. Tell her that kind of thing shouldn't be done out in public. Be kind and don't over-exaggerate. Just keep it simple. She'll get the point. I know these things are hard but I'm sure you'll make it through! Good Luck!

Answer 2

Its normal for kids this age. And she does need to be told its inappropriate. She needs to understand its a private area, and very sensitive and prone to infection, and messing with herself can make that area sick, or it can hurt her. Its best left alone unless she's washing herself. She also needs to understand its not polite do touch herself all the time, since it is a private area.

Its certainly not something that you'd punish her about, anymore than picking her nose is. Just educate her about her body in relation to her age, and dont allow her to go on like she is. Remind her to not do that. On her part its just mindless and she does it because its a new sensation and area she's noticed on her body. Just like when a kid finds their nose... lol.

This is also an excellent time to express to her the importance of NO ONE else ever trying to touch her in her private area's, and that she needs to inform you or her mother if that ever happens. She's not too young for that at all.

To sum up, its normal for her age, but she still needs to be educated about whats acceptable and whats not. Its not that her genitals are wrong or bad, but there is appropriate and inappropriate. Those are for her, and no one else.

At the very least remember that some sickos get off watching others touch themselves, so you obviously dont want to let her go on fondling herself like its nothing.

If you're completely uncomfortable about the whole situation, you can completely ignore it, and in a few months or years she should stop.. although by then its usually because someone else noticed and embarrassed her for her behavior.

Answer 3

I'm sorry and I know alot of people on here aren't going to like this but I don't let my daughter touch herself. I think it's inappropriate for a 4 year old to touch herself any time she doesn't need to explore her sexuality she's 4! When my daughter would do it I would lightly pop her hand and tell her not to. She'll realize it's not a "bad" thing when she's older. This is what my parent's did with me and I turned out just fine. Also one thing you might want to find out is if she's wiping herself well enough my daughter had a problem with that for a little while and would pull and her pants because she was getting sore. (that would happen when she was at school and no one was there to make sure she was wiping)

Answer 4

Yes,
You ignore it completely. You should not make any remarks or stare or make her feel uncomfortable in any way. I have two daughters ages 2 and 3 and one of them does the same quite often....Doctors and teachers all say the same thing that this behavior should be completely ignored and she will grow out of it but if you supress her sexual exploration you will be hurting her more in the long run....

Answer 5

It is normal behavior for a 4 year old she will out grow it. But definitely talk to her about appropriate and inappropriate touching done by others. Use the medical terms for her body parts so there is no confusion if she ever needs to tell you something is wrong.

Answer 6

The more you call attention to it, the worse.
Children don't think like adults, who always put the worst possible interpretation on everything.
My daughter started masturbating when she was 4, which I found out when she was 9. She grew up fine with no problems.
When she came with a question that brought this to light, she was totally surprised that I could describe what she felt when doing it, as she thought she had discovered something totally unique to her. ;-)
Talk about pure innocence.

Answer 7

It is totally normal for her to be doing that. She is exploring her body, not her sexuality. I would tell her that it's okay that she does it, but she needs to do it in private. If she starts doing it at home, tell her that she should go to her room if she wants to do it. But don't make her feel bad for touching herself. All children (and most adults) do it.

Answer 8

My three year old boy did/does the same thing. When I see him do it we just say Go wash your hand and if he takes his hand out of his pants we don't make him wash his hand, if he does not take his hand out we do make him wash his hand. This has been the only thing that has worked for us. My son was doing it all the time and he has cut back a lot. It is normal. I just don't want him doing it at pre-school or in Wal-Mart. We don't make a big deal about it, we just say go wash your hands in a normal tone. Good luck.

Answer 9

It's a normal thing that both boys and girls do at this age. They are finding out who they are. She should grow out of doing that soon. Don't worry, my kids did it too. They stopped doing it.

Answer 10

I've heard this is normal and that the healthiest way to handle it is not to tell them it's bad, but to tell them they should only do it in private.

Hope this helps!