My fiance and I have talked about this a few times even before we we're engaged. He's in the military and there would be a lot of benefites to us being married now rather then waiting until our wedding date(Dec. 31, 2007). So any military couples can you give me some advice or your opinion on the matter? Also...do you think it's necessary to tell you family if you got legally married before the wedding?
2007-01-17 04:09:01 · 23 answers · asked by perkyash2005 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
No, I think it is a cool idea. Don't tell anyone, let it be something speacial between you two that you don't share with the rest of the world. Besides the other benifits, it takes alot of pressure off you on your "wedding day". Go for it.
2007-01-17 04:18:00 · answer #1 · answered by BooBoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My fiance and I are doing the same thing. We're both in the military though, but we have to have a civil ceremony so when I get my orders next month I can stay here with him. We're having a wedding ceremony and reception for our families back home in June. To be honest, my family won't know that we're already married. We won't be exchanging rings or changing my name until June anyway, so we're looking at our civil ceremony as a piece of paper that will keep me here with him until our "real" wedding.
There are many benefits to being married to a military member. You'll make some extra cash for your second wedding, trust me, you'll need it! Best wishes to you, congratulations!
2007-01-17 14:43:38 · answer #2 · answered by HappilyEverAfter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister did this. She had a big ceremony and reception planned for July and then in January her and her fiance had the opportunity to buy a house at a great deal. it was important to both of them not to "live in sin" before the wedding so they had a small private ceremony. So private I never knew about it until a few years after the fact- at the time she wasn't telling my mom and I have a big mouth so I couldn't be told either. Now everyone knows- except mom- and they celebrate both anniversaries. The january one is all about him and the july one is about her. She buys him the gift in january and he buys hers in july.
I've since met several other couples who had small private ceremonies and later had a big to do.
the main thing to consider is what you are comfortable with, some people don't feel the need for a big wedding after they are legally married, and some of your family and friends might not be supportive of a big to do if its after the fact. Everyone that knew about the marriages I told you about was generally supportive. There are always a few bad apples in the bushel though so be prepared.
Best Wishes to you~!!
Just wanted to add something about your chosen wedding date of 12/31. My mom was remarried on new years eve and it is a major headache. For starters half of the catering and barstaff called in sick. The reception hall charged a lot of extra fees, and the guests were monsters- most of them were there to party rather than celebrate the marriage of their closest friends. My step brother and I ended up tending bar so that the buffet line was staffed and we ended up driving home lots of overintoxicated guests. Even the best laid plans can go awry. If you stick with this date make sure its a daytime wedding and enjoy yourself as much as possible!!
2007-01-17 04:38:28 · answer #3 · answered by jettyspagetti 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think theres anything wrong with it. My fiance and I have decided to pretty much do the same thing. We set a date back in Sept for a April wedding. Well things and money haven't gone our way the last few months. So we have decided to go ahead with getting married at the JP on the date we set then on our first anniv. we will have a big party. Gives us more time to plan, and takes the pressure off some. As far as telling your family. Thats totally up to you and your fiance.
2007-01-17 06:23:15 · answer #4 · answered by Im now Mrs. Martin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see why you couldn't get married before your actual date. Theoretically, your family & friends should be happy for you regardless. Weddings are really only theatrics anyways. So keep your wedding date of 12-31 so that people can come and celebrate your commitment to each other.
2007-01-17 04:39:43 · answer #5 · answered by Phoenixsong 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont see anything wrong with that. You can get legally married now, and then have your ceremony later. A lot of couples do that. About telling your parents, I would. But only them. Just in case there were some kind of situation where that needs to be known, its best if at least somebody else is aware. You can keep it from the other guests though.
2007-01-17 04:15:07 · answer #6 · answered by Stephanie D 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's fine to do that as long as
1. You don't lie to anyone about it. If you are lying, then you need to ask yourself why you need to be dishonest about something you should be happy to tell everyone. And I can assure you that lying to your family about your wedding is NOT the right way to start off your marriage and relationship with them.
2. Your 'wedding' ceremony is not a redo of the marriage service.
If you are already married, then your 'wedding' ceremony should be a blessing of your marriage. Or you may simply forego the ceremony entirely and have only a wedding reception.
2007-01-17 04:58:12 · answer #7 · answered by Karen L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you feel it is best...then go ahead and get married sooner rather than later...but definitely tell your family!! My sister did the same thing and didn't tell anyone...but my mom found out and all hell broke loose. Let them know...but when you have the wedding, it is still a celebration of your union, so it won't mean any less!!
2007-01-17 05:00:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother and his wife had a civil ceremony before their actual wedding ceremony. I don't really see the problem at all. If it's financially better for the two of you then go ahead and do it! Good luck!
2007-01-17 05:22:17 · answer #9 · answered by L J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is ok as long as you are truly living as husband and wife. You will have to tell people that you are married and live as though you are married. If the military perceives the marriage as occurring for benefits then they will dishonorably discharge him
2007-01-17 04:17:10 · answer #10 · answered by angihorn2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋