I found out my boyfriend had sex with a guy when he was 15?

Question

We are in our late 20s now and I'm not sure how to handle this news. I am the first person he has ever told. He has been with 7 women since. Is this kind of behavior normal as a teenager? How would you handle it?

Answer 1

no he is a homo, once a puffer always a puffer

Answer 2

I think everyone experiment a little with their sexuality in their teens n early 20's.
If it was just something he tried, n realized that it wasn't for him, then it shouldn't threaten your relationship. But if the experience was something that he did enjoy but felt guilty, then he should try to be more open about his real feelings. Or if the incident happen with someone much older than him, n he was confused or didn't actually want to do it, then that was abuse. N it's best if he speaks with a counselor to get some clarity n healing.

I understand that it's weird for you.

But if you're the first person he told, then he must have been feeling some degree of embarrassment or guilt about it. N he must trust you a great deal. Try not to judge him. N encourage him to be honest about how he feel about it. That way, you will know where your relationship truly stands. N you will help him a great deal - whether he is straight or gay.

Answer 3

First off, you sound fairly savvy on the web to even find Yahoo Answers, so if you do a search of the human sexuality websites, you will find out that this is not uncommon at all.

More women than men have had such an encounter, but being gay is about desire, not about acts. If he does not desire men, he is not gay. If he does desire men AND women, he is Bi. And if only men, you are out of luck.

So first off, the fact he told you means that he feels close enough to you to relate this, is being honest, and I assume indicates he wants to be with you.

Also, you do not relate the context of this.. if he was 15 and it was with an adult, he was not being gay, he was being molested! And should report the person and let them rot in jail. If that molester does end up in jail, that would be best.

AT 15, folks are figuring out things.. not every path you go down is one you want to stay on..

sometimes you turn around and go another way.

Answer 4

I had the same feelings when I found out one of my best friends was gay. I was angry with him and a little repulsed and I wrote him an angry letter and told him how I felt. Then after I calmed down, I thought about it -- he was still the same person, what he has done in the past hasn't harmed me in any way -- the only thing that changed was that now I knew about it. He didn't change, I did. I started to feel a little ridiculous after that - how could I be angry with him for a change in me? I have since come to terms with it and our friendship is as strong as ever. It took a lot of courage for your boyfriend to tell you this - he must really love you and want there to be no secrets between you. What he did at 15 has no bearing on you now. Be happy you have found someone willing to be totally honest with you and who loves you.

Answer 5

well I know a lot of girls do this, which for whatever reason is more of a pleasant thought then men doing it together anyways, I've heard of it more than you might think and ilts been for different reasons and the guys I know that have told me did not turn out gay, dont want to be secretly or anything, and dont think about it, but its just something that happened. Like this one guy had a friends uncle going down on him for years actually but he never did anything ever to a man and never went looking for anything like that again after that episode was over, so my point is just that it might not be anything to worry about at all, then again it might be you'll just have to feel it out and watch the situation I mean you probly already know his true nature if you think back, and what did he say about it if anything? Ask him to be honast with you and reassure him that your his friend reguardless of what happens and also prepare yourself for anything and get in the right frame of mind so that your not so devistated if something does and hay even if you dont work out you could learn a lot of valuable lifes lessons from this and look back on it as something that was memorable in your life. good luck Kim

Answer 6

Well, these things happen. It might have been against his will to have sex with another a guy. But as long as he is not doing it now go on with the relationship. If I was him, I would not have shared that with you. I know quite a few guys that at one time had sex with another guy....some was force to and some were just trying something out. Those teen years can be rough.

Answer 7

It is normal for a teenager to try new things. Im for sure that we all had tried something new when we were teens. I would still be friends with this kid and just ask him if you can help him in a non sick kind of way. Its his life and he can do what he wants with it. Just be there for him and help him out too.

Answer 8

What is there to handle? When your grown up boyfriend was a 15 year old kid he experimented with sex. What is the problem?

Answer 9

It is a common place occurrence in all male environments like boarding schools and does not mean he is gay. Girls have similar relationships too so no big deal unless he starts showing more than a passing interest in the same sex.

Answer 10

To be honest that's not normal for a guy to do that especially during his teenage years. My advice to you is to stay with him but always look out for signs of change.

Answer 11

I found out that my boyfriend has been with several ladies in his day, but that was the past and you can't get hung up on it. If you really need to talk to him and be concerned, bring it up.

I was bothered by the fact that my boyfriend was with several ladies but decided it was in the past, and this is now!! :)