Should SAHMs be expected to keep a clean home?

Question

I'm not saying sparkling but very tidy. Why do you feel that way? Just curious!

I have just seen many houses of SAHM that the dishes haven't been done in weeks. The bills aren't payed. The floors have goo in them. It's just nasty. That's why I ask. What are they doing all day? I just don't know...

Answer 1

Vato, I was in total agreement with you when you answered my last question. I am in partial agreement with you here. Cleaning so it's not a health and safety hazard is important;i.e: it is really disgusting IMHO to not clean the bathroom for days on end and can make you and your family sick.

It also all depends what else a mother is doing. Many mothers take their children to activities in the daytime. I used to take my son to play groups, music classes, gymboree, parks, friends houses, etc. It is more important to play with your children, then to spend hours cleaning and doing the laundry. It does produce happier kids, and happier moms . My son is in kindergarten and he only attends for 2 and a half hours in the afternoons. I like to spend the mornings playing with him, reading and helping him with things.

So what else are SAHM's doing? I'm a stay at home mom but I also work part -time Thursday to Sunday evenings and I have a work from home business. Work from home businesses are an attractive option for people with small children. They are also becoming quite popular. Just watch out for scams! But I plan to stick with it for the long term if I want a chance at a decent retirement. I need to be on the phone setting appointments so I can earn an extra income. I need to attend regular training sessions for my business so I get better results.

At least when I clean I'm using environmentally friendly cleaning products. SAHM's should look at getting the toxins out of their homes by using safer, and more pleasant to use cleaning products. Then they will look forward to cleaning instead of dreading it! SAHM's have a 50% chance of getting cancer than those who work outside the home because of all those toxic chemicals they are exposed to in the home, a lot of them from commercial cleaning products, including dish soap and laundry detergents. Children, especially babies, are at greater risk from getting sick also from toxins because their systems are not as well developed, they put everything into their mouths, they are crawling around on the floor where a lot of the toxins are.

Ok, I have changed my tune a bit from yesterday to today. If SAHM's really are busy and don't find the time to clean, and leave the messes for days to come WHEN then is it going to get done? It has to get done eventually. To what point do you let it pile up? Do you prefer to let it go for a few days and then go on a cleaning spree? I know I don't like to do that. I try to clean one room per day rather than all at once. I don't like to spend the day just doing chores. But if you let it pile up what else can you do?

In a nutshell, as a parent I think it is your responsibility to ensure that if you can't find the time to do the chores you need to make arrangements to get it done some how. In other words, if you are a SAHM and you truly are busy, and don't spend a lot of the daytime hours watching soaps or surfing the internet or spending time on Yahoo Answers, by all means if you can afford it, get hired help!

Answer 2

Erm yea, Im a SAHM and everyday i am cleaning something. Im not a 'omg theres a spot..clean the entire house' type of freak hehe But yes, i think they should take some time to clean. They are home to take care of the kids and the house while the husband works. (The way we do it anyways) Dont get me wrong.. my hubby does help me out. But by the time he's home theres nothing really to do other than the trash. heheh My mother is a SAHM (even tho my brother is 14 now!!!) and my brother is always saying that mom needs to do the dishes becuase she hasnt in a while. I just feel that my house should be tidy. Especially since im home most of the morning.
I know some ppl will say 'Sometimes you cant becuase of kids..' or some other excuse. But i'vre really had no problem with keeping my house cleaned and i had 3 children all under the age of 3 at one time. (7,6 and 4 now) But It's call put kids in a play pen for a bit. Wont hurt em while you are getting something done. I know if my hubby came home and the place was messy.. he'd get rather annoyed since if you worked 8-10 hrs a day.. came home and wanted to relax.. walked in a saw dirty dishes.. dirty counters.. etc.. wouldnt it tick you off? hehe
So yes i feel they should be able to keep the house up. 1: they are home during the day ANYWAYS.. and 2: well its not really sanitary is it? ppl like that give us other SAHM's a bad name!
Oh and our bills ARE paid for :P

Answer 3

Yes I do feel that SAHMs should keep the house fairly clean. I don't think they should be expected to do EVERYTHING, but general cleaning throughout the day. I think day to day messes should be kept picked up, the kitchen clean...so on and so forth, but as for scrubbing the bathroom, vacuuming, mopping, those things should be split by both adults. In my opinion a SAHM is a working mom, but that work includes some housework. So some of it should be split down the middle.
I have an in-home daycare, in which I currently have 5 children under the age of 5 (including my own) but sometimes have up to 7 kids at a time. Some days it's easy for me to keep the kitchen and dining room clean, others it's much more challenging. I try to get things done while the older kids are napping but when there are babies that don't sleep at the same time it doesn't always work out. I just do the best I can and ask my husband to help out in the evening a bit :)
And as far as other mom's saying it's pointless trying to clean up after the kids all day, that's why there are RULES. In our house and for the daycare, when you are finished with something you put it away before you get something else out. And before lunch and before they go home we pick up. It's really not a hard concept.

Answer 4

As for right now, SAHM is my title. My other title would be Grain Inspector Assisstant and I work 16 hour days, 7 days a week. I am a mother of two children, boy-8, girl-5 and I am very glad for this time with them. They are both in school. My daughter only goes for half a day but I still have all morning to get things done.
I get them up, feed them, dress them and bathroom duties- hair, teeth and washing, and they are outside by 8:30 catching the bus.
Once they are gone I run the sink water, do the dishes, sweep/mop the floor and tidy the living room. I also manage to get a couple loads of laundry done and clean my bathroom.
I am a very neat person and my home has to be presentable if I know company is coming. It isn't that way all the time.
Cut some slack though. In half an hour, could you get yourself out of bed, fed, dressed, maintain your appearance and be off to school or work? Honestly, not many can and to be the one person who has to manage children sometimes up to 3 or more, each child with a mind of their own, differnt tastes, which means two different meals sometimes. It can be physically exhausting but they do it day after day and some of them never comlain.
Youreally should be in awe of the Stay at home mom rather than nit-pickin their cleaning habits.
Not to say that there aren't people out there that are unclean and messy or just plain slobs but don't stereotype SAHM for being the cleanest people on earth...but then that's just me talking.
Hope this helps. Have a nice day.

Answer 5

Yes the house should always be tidy. I work a full time job out side of the home, do the house work, and take care of my daughter and husband! I don't leave dishes in my sink I do laundry. My husband offers to help and some times I let him but for the most part I feel like it's my job as the mom and wife to keep things up around the house. My husband's job is a lot harder then mine and he gets home later then I do so I would rather him come home and get cleaned up then have to do house work to. But that's just the way I feel I don't see any reason why if you stay at home you can't keep your house tidy.

Answer 6

Not spotless. But normal, its okay to leave the floors undone until the weekend or a few dishes in the sink for the next day. If someone has a couple of younger children, it would be hard to make the house sparkle. Im sure some people will pick up the toys and do some dishes, but leave mopping and dusting and big things like that for the weekend, which I think is okay to do.

Answer 7

Im a stay at home mom and its very hard to keep a tidy house. I try and have the kids doing some chores too, but wow. Its hard to find time in the day with 3 boys running around. My house is not bad, but its not beautiful like I picture I want it to be. Im now on strict bed rest for the next couple of months because of preterm labor and my husband works out of town, so my mom had to come stay with me to help me with the boys and house and I heard her tell someone on the phone..Ive tried and tried to keep this house cleaned, but its almost impossible with these kids and not enough time in the day..lol Just time to get the normal things like laundry, cooking, and the regular cleaning and chasing after the 3 year old all day. We keep him busy too, but Its a hard task to keep the house tidy even though we feel we dont sit ever.

Answer 8

My mother was a working mom, and my grandmother was a SAHM...I am a SAHM with 3 kids...and I live by this question...

"Do I want a clean house, or happy kids?"

If it means my floors are dirty...fine...if my dishes need done...that's okay too...if there is a pile of laundry to the ceiling...great...if my living room is a disaster...no problem...why?

I have happy kids...I'd rather spend my time with my kids than cleaning...as long as they are healthy, happy, and safe...then I don't care if my toilet is clean, if my clothes are three days old, or even if there's not a clean spoon in the house...I'll make something you eat with your fingers...

As long as my kids are happy, that's what matters...and with three kids, two under the age of 3, it take a lot to keep them that way...

Sometimes...HOUSEWORK CAN WAIT!

Answer 9

Yes. It is part of my job. I work harder than any "working" mom I know, AND it's 24/7 with no vacations. My house isn't sparking but it is always acceptable, averagely clean and tidy to where I"m usually not embarrassed if someone comes over unannounced. I have no problem if a working mom hires a housekeeper, but I think it's kind of silly for most SAHM's to have one unless you are homeschooling and so forth on top of everything else.

Answer 10

I'm curious about this question "what else would they be doing?"

When you are nursing, this takes hours a day for a newborn. When your child is 6 months - walking, there's a golden age where they entertain themselves and are immobile and you can clean and cook.

However, Drs. Brazelton and Greenspan say 15 minutes of every hour should be spent in 'floor time' with your child - that is, child directed play.

So, in addition that, even when they're immobile, and for years after they're walking, there's taking them for walks and teaching them words for everything. There's going to zoos, museums, plays, gardens, playgrounds. There's hanging outside supervising their play, hopefully talking to other moms, maybe doing your bills, but not getting too much inside stuff done. There's reading to them - many kids want to hear the same book over and over, and doing this is crucial to the child's reading skills.

If a person is not super organized and super focused, it is hard to give all that to your child. save energy to give your husband, cook meals, shop, tend to one's own intellectual and friendship needs - and on top of all that, keep a tidy house.

When I see moms who have little kids and really clean houses, I think the kids aren't playing too much Chutes and Ladders nor reading too many books with mommy.

I didn't leave the workforce to clean my house; I left it to raise my kids.

Also, most middle class women live in houses so huge compared to where society was 100 years ago, that women are expecting themselves to all alone keep a house as clean as women did then with servants.

Good habits, order, and discipline are good for children. Moms who use a system to stay on top of things benefit themselves and their kids. But, keeping a very tidy house just doesn't come in number one on the list of things to do.