Why are stay-at-home-moms thought as dumb? I want to raise my family, not a stranger. How is that dumb?

Question

I don't look down on working mothers. I understand that it needs to happen. So, sorry if I upset anyone.

Answer 1

Not dumb at all. Props to you for caring enough about your family to make the sacrifices necessary, and truly putting your children #1

Answer 2

I think that's a common stereotype. People don't realize what a being a SAHM really is. I don't think it's the hardest job I've ever done per say but it has it's moments. Not only do I care for my children, I care for myself, I care for my home, I care for my husband's needs (I'm not anti-feminism, I just help him out if applicable), I care for the family pets, I make hard decisions on what I do with my son and how they will effect him as an adult, and so on. It's sad to see SAHMs who do not take their job seriously. They are the ones who give us a bad name. No one likes to hear good things, only the bad therefore I feel that's a stereotype that we cannot break but we sure can try! I hope this helps you!

I also wanted to add I was a bit irritated by the comment about kids being raised by strangers. Many working parents find a caring provider that works with them. If it were a total stranger I doubt parents would even let their children be with them. That's a common stereotype about working mothers that should be stopped.

Answer 3

Stay at home moms aren't dumb and people who think that are just ignorant. They don't understand just how important (and difficult) that particular job can be. It involves a lot of hard work, dedication, and stress. However, it is also one of the most rewarding because when your children get older you can say, without a doubt, that you gave them all the love and attention that you could possibly give. You didn't spend any of your time out working and were able to dedicate yourself fully to their nurture. It is a very admirable job, if done correctly, and one should never feel ashamed of it. Not everyone is cut out to do it...it takes a very special person, one who is willing to give up a personal life that includes a job and lots of co-workers/friends. So don't pay attention to anyone who says that stay at home moms are dumb.

Answer 4

It is not dumb. People look down on stay at home moms like they do nothing at all but sit and watch soap opera's all day which is not true. Running a house and raising their kids is a tough job. I really believe that people that cannot stay home with their kids are jealous. I would not want some baby sitter or day care center raising my kid(s) if i did not have to work. I understand that some women have to work and that is fine, i have nothing against them but alot of them say stay at home moms are lazy and are too sorry to work and that makes me mad.
You raise your family the way you want. Don't worry about others cause i know i don't. Good luck!
-Proud stay at home mother and wife-

Answer 5

People don't think stay at home moms are dumb. They think people that say things like 'I want to raise my family, not a stranger.' are dumb. Why? Because its a statement that reflects a lack of thinking.

When your kid turns 5, you are going to have to send them to school for the next 13 years where multiple people will watch over them and teach them. Unless you are homeschooling them. So, you either start the education and socialization process out earlier or later. In either case, somebody is going to be teaching them throughout the day it's just a matter of whether they start that process out at age 6 months or at 5 years.

People who send their kids to day care are not letting somebody else raise their kids. They are letting somebody else educate their kids. I've been EXTREMELY selective as to where my kids go to school. So much so that I drive 20 miles away from my home to a great school. The ones around me didn't cut it.

If my familiy were rich and we could all afford to stay home, we would. But that's not the hand we've been given and stop being so critical and condescending...

Answer 6

I've not seen stay-at-home moms thought of as dumb. I've heard of them as not quite pulling their weight so to speak. I don't agree with that line of thinking. As a former stay-at-home (SAH) and a career woman, I find each role very difficult. The SAH has very little socializing, no income of her own, and sees the same walls every day. The career woman doesn't get to be with her children and sometimes spend much time with her husband, she has to leave to go to work and often doesn't have time for family activities. Personally I have found the stress of being a career mom greater. I've still had all the responsibility of making sure the kids got off to school, to their extra curricular activities, homework is done, possible childcare option if I have to work late, breakfast/lunches/dinner are made, the house is picked up, missing out on time with my family and working a full time job. This is just me. I won't devalue a woman who chooses to stay home and raise her family. I give them a lot of credit. They give up a lot materialistically because that extra income is not there. No not dumb. Just a different life style. I'm just lucky at this point to have created a job that allows me to do both.

Answer 7

Girl, don't get me started. As a college educated woman that CHOSE to stay home with my kids, I can tell you there is discrimination against stay at home moms.

I quit telling anyone in the medical community that I don't work - they think that means (1)you have no marketable skills, (2)you sit at home watching soap operas or (3)you're smoking crack all day. It's terrible! Every doctor I have ever met will confess that their mother stayed at home with them when they were little! Start asking around, most successful people had their moms at home to provide a good foundation.

My husband and I know it's best for our kids to have their mom at home. We can afford a comfortable life on one income and I think some people are jealous of that, so it could be a jealousy thing. Obviously your husband earns enough for you to stay home, too. Often times it takes both mom & dad working to pay the mortgage and the bills, so we have more and more moms in the workforce with their kids in daycare. It used to be that working moms were the exception now it's the rule.

You know what's right, your husband knows you're doing the best thing for your kids, and everyone else just has to get over it.

I have found other stay at home moms that are like minded at places like gymboree, playgrounds and even the public library at story time.

You are doing the right thing. Just think, when YOUR child gets to kindergarten they'll be able to read, count to 100+ and know how to behave themselves becase YOU were home to teach them. Keep doing what you know is right. I'm no dummy and I know you're not, either!!

Answer 8

I think its interesting that many of the people who responded are subtley attacking the parents who work as being selfish or uncaring.

Around here SAHMs aren't dumb or smart as a group, and working moms aren't uncaring or overly caring as a group. Each person makes the choice about what's right or wrong for their family and their children and their families.

I believe that many people do think that the mom stayed home because she didn't have the earning power of the man, and in most cases that's true. But anyone who equates earning power with brains clearly is missing the latter :).

Incidentally, how many people have positive feelings toward a stay at home dad? Or is he considered a "career loser." (I don't agree with that, but I've hear people say that and it bothers me as much as the topic of this question)

Answer 9

Because woman who stay at home are obeying their husbands, by being the good wife, and staying in the kitchen, pregnant and barefoot, where they belong. A woman who stays at home, can't possibly know that she can go out and get a job. If she stays at home, then she must not be smart enough to get a job at walmart!

Any of this sound familiar?? These are all things that sexists say. MOST men will say just about anything to piss woman off, and make themselves sound better to other men. They want to show off a ''trophy wife'', who is more like a dog. She stays at home, keeps it clean, and brings him whatever, whenever.

Unfortunately, I didn't get half or part of one of these types of men. I got the husband who likes to show me off, but because of how smart he thinks I am. Which usually backfires on him LOL

I stay at home, and I've never had anyone tell me I was stupid. Not in a serious way anyways. I see your point though. If you want your kids to know their mother, instead of a stranger, then that's not stupid. That's one of the smarter things to do. Because then if your child grows up to be a serial killer, or theif, or a total genious, then you'll know that it was something you did, or didn't do. And not some stranger. So whatever happens, it's your fault lol Good and the bad!

Blondi, I think you need to tell your "friend" to shut the hell up, she's nto a friend if she'll talk to you and about your kids, like that, and mind her own damn business!! She don't know what you do during the day with your kids. And my son will be 3 in about 3 weeks, and he says "I hungy". There's still alot that he doesn't do or say, but it's not because I don't try. Kids have different learning levels. I know of a 5 yo, who you can't hardly understand. But that's because his mom was on drugs or something like that.

Answer 10

Sometimes I think people think that SAHM's are "dumb" for giving up a career to raise their kids and that all they do is sit around all day and watch tv and let their kids run around like hooligans. Which is only partially true. LOL Anyway, it can be very rewarding and I totally agree that I'd rather raise my children rather than some stranger.

I've heard feminists get upset at women who give it all up to have babies and raise them. They were angry with that reporter Elizabeth Vargas for quitting her television job to raise a family - I have the utmost respect for someone who can resist the glam life and salary of tv to stay at home. It's no cakewalk and you sometimes miss the adult conversation and socialization, but it's totally worth it.

Don't let my Avatar of me in my pink bathrobe with slippers fool you - I do manage to shower and get dressed at a reasonable time (most days) ; )I think the people who criticize it are jealous that they can't do the same thing.

Answer 11

I never heard anyone say dumb,I've heard people say lazy...I think they are just jerks!I stay home w/ my kids,and I plan to till they both are in school all day,and I really couldn't give 2 sh!ts about what anyone has to say about it.I clean the house in the morning,and then the majority of the day is spent spending time w/ my children,they are both ahead of where they should be for their ages,they are both prepared for kindergarten and they are well mannered kids.I don't think that would be the situation if they were at a day care or w/ a sitter all day!And I get to sit here and answer questions during my daughters nap time till my son gets home from pre-school..haha!