i want to love,im just afraid?

Question

Im lonely,i desperately want company,well not desperately but i wouldn't mind someone to share my life with,i just dont have any self confidence,im shy and and worst of all im mentally ill,well used to be,but that doesn't matter women see nutter and run.how the hell are people like me gonna get a chance if im labelled and to scared to appraoch anyone.why did my life end before it began,

Answer 1

That is tough. You say you have been mentally ill. Are you taking medication for this and seeing a therapist? If not, then perhaps you should consider talking to your doctor about it. At the very least, talk to a professional therapist who can help you deal with your confidence issues. This would be a big help, because good people are generally attracted to confident people!

The second thing I recommend is evaluating your interests, then joining a club in the area that you are interested. Or volunteer to help out a non-profit charitable organization. Or start going to church if you are a spiritual person. These are great ways to meet people that will be interested in the same things you are interested, which makes the transition to friendship or more much easier! It takes a little courage to join, but it is reasonably easy to do, and once there you will often not even have to take the first step in starting a conversation with someone.

Finally, I recommend getting some exercise, at least 30 minutes every day, or nearly every day. Eat healthy, too. This will do several things for you. One, it will raise the endorphin level in your brain and make you feel better. Two, if you get enough exercise you will begin to look better and feel more attractive. Third, it helps cut down depression. Finally, it will eventually raise your confidence level. So join a gym, or if you are uncomfortable doing this, start biking or jogging. At the very least walk, maybe while lifting hand weights. It really will make a difference!

If you find that you are incapable of attempting the above suggestions, I highly recommend what I suggested at the beginning. Talk to your doctor about how you are feeling, and have them recommend a therapist for you, and maybe even some medication. It will make a big difference in your life. You deserve to be happy, and I hope you will take the steps necessary to make it happen. It will not happen by itself. Good luck!

p.s. Type in "depression" and "shyness" in Google or Yahoo! Search and educate yourself more on your problems. That may help you find other solutions.

Answer 2

What is their to be afraid of? And the reason your life ended before it began is because you make it that way. Don't look at life as everything being bad. Ignore that stuff, and concentrate on the good things in life. Don't be thrown off by the bad things that happen in your life, or you will miss out on the good. Listen, life has to have both good and bad, otherwise how do you know if what you have is good. Now as to companion, stop looking!!! Enjoy your life, go out with friends, spend time with family and when you least expect it the right person will come into your life. In the mean time you will see that by not expecting to be rejected, or shunned because you think that "women see nutter and run". That's the worst thing to be thinking as you a approach a woman. Go into things with positive thoughts and you are more than likely going to get positive results. As for being mentally ill, how do the women know off the bat that you are or were mentally ill? Unless your wearing a sign, or acting like there is something wrong with you, you should be okay with them not knowing about your health issues right of the bat.

Answer 3

Hey,
Cheer up! Your life did not end before it began! You have got all the time in the world to find someone to love!
It is not easy to get back out there, especially when you know some of your personally history may scare people away. However, you do not have to be lonely either........just start making baby steps towards a new relationship.
Go out and meet people more, and by that I do not mean bars and clubs.
Find a hobby, join an activity, anything really where you would be surrounded by other people and it would involve group work. That way you will make friends, and start socializing, going out, etc.
You might not meet your soul mate there, but it will start you off.
Sounds like you need to build up some confidence, so start with just socialising a little more. That will not only help you get out more, you will also meet new people, make friends and then, you can draw on their support to help build up your confidence and start dating...........
Besides, people do not know that you have had a mental illness and there is no need to tell them straight away!
Unfortunately, it can put people off a little, and that is not fair..............just wait for them to see the real you. I am sure you have got many great qualities, which they will like you for. If you feel you need to tell them and be honest, just do it a little later, when they have already seen the good side of you.
Anyway, I hope I could help at all..............feel free to email me if you need someone to talk to.

Answer 4

u r talkin as if u have never loved... cheer up,happiness may be waitin right before the corner 4 u n dont conclude ur life is over cuz all of us have such moments of insecurity or fear but like a ocean with tides this ll soon be gone n u ll be thinkin 1 day that every bad emotion u experienced has turned into a smile... if u dont get the chance 2 fall in love with a girl then u should know that u cant have everythin!!! love does hurt badly at times but if u met the right person u ll c how ur life ll change 2 heaven.. dont lose hope try ur best n wish u bump into the sweetest love u can ever find at the moment u less expected it :P

Answer 5

Ok we all want someone to love n someone to love us. You don't need to be a totally self assured, completed happy with yourself person to give out the confident vibe k. Ppl would prob say i'm pretty confident bcoz i could talk to any1 an stuff. The thing is i've got as many issues as any1 an think i'm an idiot at alot of the things i do. Pretend to be confident. Strike up conversations with ppl if you're out n about to boost confidence. Try to meet new ppl. Good luck chicks x x x

Answer 6

Build some confidence by taking small steps. For example, if you are interested in fishing, learn which lures/bait attracts which kind of fish, what climate fish like, etc. As you gain some knowledge about this, you will have something to talk about and people will see that you are confident, enthusiastic, and passionate. From their you may learn different ways to cook fish, (you could have a fish fry for your newfound friends!)

You may meet someone along the way. Just relax and enjoy the ride.

Answer 7

Pete

I was sorry to read this, as you clearly have confidence issues and low self esteem. This probably stems from the stigma that you have experienced from other people around your mental health issues. Why don't you contact your local branch of MIND. I am sure that you will find support and encouragement and regain your lost confidence, which might help you find some much-needed company.

All the best Pete, J

Answer 8

don't be a knuckle-head. your life certainly hasn't ended. and just because you think so little of yourself doesn't mean others will. why don't you post a blog and find some regular chat buddies in your area.

after you get comfortable with the people you chat with, maybe you can plan a day to get together doing something that both of you or all of you like. i was bored and a little and needed to make some new friends, so i started a book club.

good luck.

Answer 9

If u are unhappy where u are y dnt u move and start a new life, no one need no bout ur illness and u can be who u wna b, i mean a confident bubbly person when u introduce urself to new people. U just need to have more confidence and say to urself u r worth it and ur great, maybe u cud go to a self estem class or something? xx

Answer 10

You really shouldn't run yourself down like that. You have some serious self esteem issues & need to get some counselling before you even consider a relationship with someone. You need to like yourself before you can expect anyone else to like you. It seems to me that you NEED someone else & not want them. You don't seem to want to be alone with yourself. You need some counselling to help you understand what a wonderful person you really are & that you can be happy for yourself & by yourself & not just with another person. Seek some counselling, don't be afraid, it will really help & help you to like yourself again. It will get to the route of your problems & you can only go up from there. Please don't think that your life ended before it began, YOU can turn this around believe me. I wish you all the luck in the world.