my grandaughter loses her temper at school sometimes?

Question

she loses her tiemper at school sometimes with kids and has been excluded, i feel really embrassed about it, my son i got a letter today saying he has not finished his gcse coursework, he wants to stay up watching tv, i took the skart lead last night. i am sick of all of it. The headmistress gave us a social worker and we only see her once every six weeks. i think i am too soft its a real battle in the mornings trying to get him out. he takes one and half hours to get dress, i am fed up with al of it.

Answer 1

its their futures they are playing with - id let them get on with it, i know you are concerned any parent and grandparent would be about their child going down the wrong path, but they have to learn, and if it takes the hard way to get them to see, then so be it!
he also sounds like a typical teenager, my brother has had these sort of letters and he even doesnt get up to go to school in the morning and hes doing his a levels
it is too much sometimes! and i really do think you need some extra help and support - and your son does as well

Answer 2

I saw a programme on this type of situation 2 weeks ago.

The experts stopped him from sitting around using the computer

Everybody in the house, was made to do things as a family.

The parents did not spend anytime with the child. They needed to spend some quality time together. They were told to find a hobby that they could all together.

The child benefited big time from a change of diet. Even though he refused to eat it, they finally got him to eat, vegetables, salads and fruit. After a few months, he did not want to go back to burgers etc, because he felt so much better. He became less aggressive at school. He also lost alot of weight, because he was not sitting round playing on a computer.

He joined a club, which gave him an interest. It also allowed the parents some quality time together.

The parents had alot of arguements, which rubbed off on him.

Hope any of this helps.

Answer 3

How old is your granddaughter and how is it that she lives with you and does she see her parents. If she doesn't this could be one of the reasons why she is gets upset so easily or if she only see them occasionally again this could be the reason. It could be that because she is angry about the fact that she can't or doesn't see them she feels that this is the only way she can vent her anger. What you need to do is sit down with her and talk to her and find out if there is anything worrying her and why she feels the need lose her temper. Okay I'm admit when people are rude to you it does make you angry, but she had to get extremely angry if the headmistress had to excluded her from school. Find out if there were any issues withing the school that also led to her being excluded. Either way you need to sit her down and have a chat with her about it all and try to get to the bottom of it. If you don't you may find that this will not be the only school she is excluded from

Answer 4

Have you asked your granddaughter WHY she is losing her temper? I used to get picked on at school and kept losing my temper. I had some problems at home too which meant I wasn't sleeping well and this made it infinately harder to keep calm. Don't use physical punishment. It won't work and it will probably make things worse by alienating her from you. Temper tantrums are ALWAYS a cry for help. They mean "there's something in my life I can't cope with and no one is helping me and I'm sooo bl**dy frustrated by it all that I have no where else to go"

As for your son all I can suggest is having a chat with him about it. Why hasn't he done it? Does he find the subject boring? Does he hate the teacher? Does it see it as pointless? Is it too difficult? Or has he just procrastinated for too long? Can you arrange with the school that he spends more time working on it at school (during lunchtime or after school perhaps) so that there aren't diversions?

And keep taking that scart lead to bed with you. If it's your house and your telly and you say "NO more TV" then he has to learn to respect that.

Answer 5

I'm sorry you're having to bear the brunt of it and it sounds like parents are absent.

Perhaps you could try by being more proactive with the school and asking for their help/advice before they contact you again.

I would also be inclined to demand more support from your social worker - it's often he who shouts loudest.

You could try scare tactics of telling the kids if they don't knuckle down then they might be taken away from you into care.

Diet can play a part in temper tantrums in kids - especially teens who would happily gorge themselves on junk all day. I might also make an appointment with your GP who might be able to recommend some local parent workshops where you can meet other people experiencing the same or perhaps some sort of counselling for your grandaughter/son.

Relate run workshops for families with difficult teens - you could look at this. Relate is a charity and you donate if you can afford to.

http://www.relate.org.uk/takecharge/workshopsforparentsfamilies/Course_SXE0CD-A77F8C84.html

Answer 6

Well, how old are the children? if the boy takes that long just to get dress and it's such a struggle I think you should wake him up early and that should take care of the problem or at least motivate him to hurry it up a bit.
With the grandaughter though maybe you should seek counseling for her to try to get to the bottom of it. A social worker can't always help every problem and at times it's best to take a child to a psychiatrist or someone who can get to the bottom of it and figure out why they're having behavior problems. Sometimes kids will try reaching out by behaving badly and if that is the case then family counseling or counseling for them will help a bit.

Answer 7

You poor thing. Sounds like you're having an awful time.

You could make better use of your social worker. To be honest, SWs aren't all that intereted in families like yours. The kids aren't being abused, they're just being a bit difficult, so you don;t come very high up on the priority list.

Next time you see the SW ask her to give you a referral to a family support agency. The ones available vary from area to area, but organisations like Barnardo's, NCH and Rowntree are national. There will be other family support projects in your area.

Good luck. Hope things improve for you.

Answer 8

soft is not the word for it you have ruined your kids and now your paying the price . take your sons TV out in the backyard and smash it to pieces tell him that his ps2 will follow if he doesn't buck up gcse's mean he's old enough to leave home or BE THROWN OUT ! don't argue with either of them ACT every time they cause an incident react with a ridiculously harsh punishment they argue with each other over your TV rip the plug of it and leave it off for a week , what is important to them ie mobile phones computers and television have no worth in reality so if they don't value what's important to you why should you value what's important to them . i know you can't afford it who can but if it were me (I've done it ) i would destroy everything they own if it meant waking them up to reality , they're to young to realise that we only get one chance at life and it can't be wasted because "i can't be bothered " or "what's the point" right now your the reason they should bother and not upsetting you is the point .
hate your kids for 6 months now and you'll love them to bit's for the rest of their lives and believe it or not they will come to respect you and all love is superficial without respect .

Answer 9

You seem a bit overwhelmed by what is going on in your life and your thoughts are a bit incoherent. Calm down and focus on what the real bother is. Perhaps the littlens are picking up on your confusion and receiving mixed messages which is bound to get them confused and because they can not make sense of it they act up instead. Sort your own confusion first and you might stand a chance in understanding your son and granddaughter.

Answer 10

Wow, this sounds like me. My son is 6 and hates going to school. He doesn't like going to bed OR getting up in the a.m. We put him to bed at 7:30 and he won't go to sleep til around 11. He's supposed to get up at 7 for the bus at 8 and usually won't get up til around 7:45. On the rare occasions he does get up on time, he dawdles around and STILL misses the bus. He also has issues with fighting with kids in school--usually with other boys in his class that he says start with him. I'm in the same boat as you. What do you do with them?? Short of beating him to a pulp, and then having CPS get involved there isn't much to do. He doesn't have a tv, PS2, or anything like that in his room; just toys and a bed, bureau. Don't suggest taking the toys, done that, he doesn't care. Gee, sounds like I need to ask instead of answer!! I wish you the best of luck; unfortunately I haven't any ideas for you. Sorry