2 months ago, i met this girl who rocked my world. she is everything you could ever want and more. she liked me too, somewhat but was scared bc i was moving away (as i just graduated college and am going back home 500 miles away). so now she is dating someone else. and i am also trying to date other people, trouble is i can't forget her. i keep thinking about how my life would be with her, there is like something missing. i just graduated and always thought i'd be glad for that but now all i want is to go back in time. i can't tell her how i feel bc that would be unfair to her. she wrote to me recently that she has gotten over her guilt (i think for liking me while dating someone else but it could be for hurting mean) and that she is open to whatever i want to write but i don't know what this means. i am the most clean-cut, well-behaved kid but all i want to do is disappear into drugs or something, just to forget. what should i do??
2007-01-17 02:55:29 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Do NOT disappear into drugs. That would be stupid and would only make your problem worse. You think you have problems now? Think of what you are going through now and ADD disease, therapy, money problems, and physical pain. This does not replace the emotional pain. It compounds it.
That said, your situation is very common. The truth of the matter is that you cannot get over her because you have no let her go. You need to give this girl up. She is not interested in you, and under the circumstances she is probably being smart. The very, very best thing you can do is write her a long letter telling her you enjoyed what you two had, but that it is in your best interest that you not contact one another anymore. Then follow through. Do not call her. Do not write to her. Do not read or answer anything that she sends back to you. It is time to move on. It seems mean and cruel, but if you are having problems letting go then it is not. It is simply the right thing to do.
Once you have done this, keep yourself busy. Take a break from dating. Rediscover yourself and stop defining yourself based on your relationships. Hang out with your friends. Do things you enjoy doing. Have some fun. Get a hobby. Work. Volunteer for a charity organization. Join some clubs in areas that you are interested, which is a great way to meet new people.
A combination of the two things above, breaking it off and keeping busy, will eventually ease the pain. It will not happen overnight, but that is natural. Eventually you will feel more comfortable dating, and you can move on from there. There are plenty of other fish in the sea, as they say.
If this does NOT work for you, then there is something else wrong. If you are incapable of letting this person go, then I highly recommend getting some therapy. Perhaps you have other issues that you are unaware of that are causing you to obsess. It is best to get this taken care of now before it develops into a serious mental condition later.
Believe it or not, just about everyone goes through this at some point in their life. The ones that get through it successfully are the ones that accept the facts of life and move on. Hopefully you can too. Good luck!
2007-01-17 03:13:30 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U have a great future ahead of u y throw it away because some girl rocked ur world big deal. Wake up and get over it. U can find urself another girl who will love u and probably rock ur world. Don't b down and out life is 2 short. Drugs is not the answer. I mean if she is dating someone else then she moved on y can't u just move on. If u 2 were meant 2 b then u will find ur way back 2 each other but 4 now move on a make something out of ur life. If u give up u will never know if she was meant 4 u.
2007-01-17 11:14:37 · answer #2 · answered by Baby Gurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will be fine
it happened to some of us and it hard to let go but it part of live.
by using things like drug or drinking will not solve the problem.
let it burn it will make u stronger and learn how to deal well with similar problem in the future.
stay strong, listen to music it helps
2007-01-17 11:04:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it seems she has left the door open for you, it is up to you to walk throught the door. if it means this much to you, you should atleast tell her how it is.
2007-01-17 11:04:51 · answer #4 · answered by drc90crx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if youve been clean this long dont mess it up now...
life gets better n worse all the time...dont worry about it....
2007-01-17 11:00:09 · answer #5 · answered by mandi6006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋