Why does the school make a big deal over dyed hair?

Question

My daughter is 13 and has always had a kind of skater/punk look, she is a bad kid, she gets good grades, is active in her church, plays sports, and is a cheerleader. I will not let her dye it colors like pink, green, blue, or purple because I feel it can be a destraction but I do not see an issue with reds, blondes or black.
She currently has red, and the cheer coach felt is was necessary to make a comment about "FIXING HER HAIR". Does any one have a suggestion for my child to keep her individuallity in this world of blond haired blue eye cheerleaders?

sorry- she ISN'T a bad kid.

Answer 1

First off, the Cheer coach should be pulled in by the school administration and given counseling. His or Her narrow minded view of the world is fine for them, but it is not acceptable for it to be shared or imposed on anyone they interact with.

Our perception of what is acceptable is shaped by the society we live in. IN the OLD OLD days, men used to wear Kilts, flouncy pants, and all sorts of things we would laugh at today! Tastes change.

Tattoos for instance used to be just on Marines and Ex CONS! Now your librarian might have them! So what?

Well, since some folks are locked in time, and don't update their perceptions, they can get out of date. Others are so clueless they don't even know that every little pissing idea they have in their head is not sent from God that they don't understand WHY others look at them oddly.

Your daughter can and should dye her hair any color she wants. She can shave her head, whatever. If you have a problem, you call the ACLU and they will kick some *** and get the cheer coach canned.

I surely agree, we do NOT need more blond haired blue eye cheerleaders if that means losing blue haired and green haired ones! More individuality is good, not less. Only simple minded narrow headed intolerant fools think otherwise.

Good luck!!!

PS you DO need to check the school rules.. but keep in mind that just because a school has a rule on something, does NOT mean that is a valid rule, as many are overturned in court or upon review.

Answer 2

I never got the hair thing in school. How much of a distraction is bright green hair even. OK, the first time you see it you think "wow, that's really weird hair" but after that you get used to it and it just isn't an issue. I believe it all comes down to control. Enough people who don't like something manage to get the power to force people not to do it: tyranny of the majority. I usually figure that as long as something is harmless and doesn't lead to something worse, why make an issue of it? How many kids would have their rebellious urges satisfied by having purple hair, but they weren't allowed to, so they turned to beer or pot or shoplifting or worse instead?

If the coach is still in the making-snide-comments stage and isn't trying to force your daughter to do anything I'd suggest doing nothing. If it is a matter of force (i.e. don't dye your hair or I'll kick you off the team) you have to decide how much trouble you and your daughter want to go through. You can do the easy thing and go back to her natural color. Or you can take things up with the principal, the school board, the media, etc. Of course if you go over the coach's head he/she will probably make things difficult for your daughter unless you manage to get the coach fired, which is unlikely.

Dealing with power-hungry jerks is part of life, so this could be a pick-your-battles teaching moment.

Answer 3

I tend to agree with you on this. I am curious though, did the coach elaborate in any way on what he/she meant by fixing the hair. It may not reference the color so much as the style. While I still think it is probably wrong to say that also, the coach may mean that she needs to put it in a way where it won't get in the way (such as a pony-tail or cut it short or something like that--just a guess as I have no idea how your daughter keeps her hair).

If you think that is still wrong, let your daughter leave it the way it is. If the coach gets a little too uppity, you can always take it to the principal. A threat of a lawsuit can always help others to "see your point of view."

Answer 4

Unfortunately our schools try to mainstream our children. They try to get them to all fit into a box. Cheerleading is one of those activities that really stress a uniformity and certain stigma of those members, from the high ponytails and uniforms. Your daughter has chosen a sport where she must "fit the mold". I don't believe in these kinds of values and have put my children in alternative education settings because they too do not fit the mold on any level and are smart, free thinking individuals from early on. She wants to cheer and you can talk to the coach and express your oppinions but I seriously think she will not take you as taking cheerleading seriously, because she already has a set idea of what a cheerleader is. Your daughter may suffer if allowed to remain an individual in this conforming sport.

Answer 5

She needs to ask the coach what she meant by "Fixing" her hair. If she does not like the color then she should just say that she likes being different than the other girls. If it is because it is messy, or too long and she thinks that it could pose some kind of danger during a routine (Like if she is in a pyramid and it is in her eyes), she should pin it up.

Answer 6

Schools can be so crazy. I agree with you. I know there are kids who go to extremes but what does the color of your hair hurt? It shouldn't matter. I am no prejudice at all. But my son wore his hair to school in braids like a colored person wears their. They made him take it out because it was a distraction. Now normally I would be up at that school in a heartbeat. But my son's grades are low right now & I told him I am not saying anything until he raises his grades.