Since Ive lost weight........?

Question

I get comments Im too skinny(Im not,my BMI is healthy and normal)Im 5ft 3 @111. or asked if I eat or worse,told 'Im lucky". Im not lucky. I dont have the luxery of eating cupcake after cupcake. I worked at it. I have one friend in mind. She's "dieting" but she's really not. Were at the pizza buffet,she's telling me Im lucky...again while she's popping sausage pizza after sausage pizza,saying she just cant lose. I tried saying I make healthy choices and even there I dont worry about getting my moneys worth. Its always something,tho and not just from her but mostly heavy women.You know the comments. I tried being supportive,saying nicely Im not lucky and its not fun.(though now its normal for me)at first I was flattered. Now Im at the point where Im going to get rude and blunt bc its just as rude and Im fed up. So,what if I did just say"Then put the cookie down,go for a jog and then make yourself some shrimp stir-fry instead of fried dumplings!??

Answer 1

Very well put. Sometimes I feel like that too. Even worse I feel uncomfortable hearing it. But then I say to myself why? I am me!
You know its a jelousy thing right. You are where you need to be and your friend is not. By saying that you are lucky it makes your friend subconsisly feel better about herself. I say that because it sounds like she is making it seem like its a matter of luck, and there is only a few "select" people that can be at a healthy BMI. She unfortunally in her mind, thinks she is not one of them.
She may also see it as she has a longer journey in front of her than you. Back to the jelousy thingy. Again justifying her failing attempts at a diet.
It also sounds like she is wrapped up in the whole stigma of the dieting faze. The ideology that "people will sympathy for me because I am at least making an attempt to lose weight." Well I hate to break it to people that are saying (err mentally thinking that) they are trying to live healthier by eating better, but you actually have to live the life style. And you are right no pizza slice after pizza slice. No pizza!
I would suggest that when you are out with your friend causually question her, Does that fit in to your diet regimne? Put it directly on her shoulders. Unless you dont want the company of this friend anymore then tell her to put the pizza down and get off of her fat *** and go for a jog. (sorry to be blunt)
Its not about a matter of being "lucky" its a matter of being smart and educated on healthy choices. Not to forget personal will power. So congradulations to you for being smart and concious of your bodys needs.

Answer 2

I know what you mean, it's the "well it's alright for you" attitude those people that suggest you don't understand what it's like. It is very difficult not to say, "oh yes, I do know what it's like to struggle with my weight, I'm just better at it than you are." I worked as a weight watchers leader for 2 years and sometimes I really had to bite my tongue. But in some sense we are lucky, we worked out what the answer was, change, they haven't and sadly some of them never will.

Try a few phrases like "no, not lucky just sensible." or "Well I wanted to be slim more than I wanted to eat sausage pizza." And yes, why not, "put the cookie down and go for a jog." depending on the friend that might just work. I had to be very careful what I said to members though occasionally at the scales they would say "If I haven't lost weight this week I'll thump you." which really used to upset me so then I allowed myself a caustic reply.

Shame it's not fun for you though. I have to say that I prefer my new eating regime to the way I used to eat. A lot of the things I ate in the past I can't even tolerate without feeling ill now.

Well done on your success anyway, remember these women are just jealous.

Answer 3

As long as you're thin, even if you're healthy, people are going to put you down as having a "problem", like do you eat? Or they will call you lucky over and over and over again. They are just jealous. Face it, either they can't lose the weight or they don't have the willpower to lose the weight. Either way, they are the ones with the problem, not you, but by putting you down, they make themselves feel a little better inside at least thinking that they are healthier than you, assuming you don't eat. Just be happy with yourself and imagine what the world would come to if you actually did say some of the things you're thinking of. Someone come's up to you and asks "Do you eat?" It sure would be tempting to reply with "Do you ever stop eating?" But be the bigger person and either tell them how they make you feel if they're close to you or say yes, you do eat, just healthy and you exercise and realize how lucky you are to have the willpower to resist the unhealthy foods.

And to whoever said people don't talk about weight or that it's taboo... maybe where you come from they don't, but everyone I know is either dieting or talking about it ALL the time, trying to lose weight, or people are calling others "too skinny" all the time because they're jealous. 5'3 111 lbs is average, she doesn't have a problem that needs looked into.

Answer 4

I am unfamiliar with the phrase "a stone". I have some medical training. I think it's due to your hormones leveling out to a more normal range. Often overweight women ( I don't know if you were or not? not saying you were) experience poor hormone levels and sometimes even stop having periods, because they're bodies aren't functioning right. It happened to my own mother. She is young, had me at 17 yrs old. She had an invasive medical procedure done, to lose the 300+ pounds she was carrying around. It worked, and when she was back to a more healthy weight, her hormones balanced back where they should have been, and her periods came back too, as well as her sex drive. It's all connected. No worries, you're perfectly normal. Besides that, when we like how we look and feel, we feel more attractive to the opposite sex, and there fore want more intimate relations. Enjoy yourself!

Answer 5

Grrr... I know the feeling.
I lost 20 pounds last year, and I'm keeping it off. It's because I get it now - I didn't get it then. If she got it, then she would put the cookie down and have some shrimp stir-fry, and would be carefully measuring out exactly 3/4 of a cup of rice to go with it.

My usual response to, "oh, you can have one" is now - "Yeah, but I'll have to add an extra mile to my run tonight and skip dinner." It's never that blunt, but a gentle reminder that these choices are not made in a vacuum. Don't let the negative energy get to you. Eventually, when she is really, truly ready to lose weight, she'll know who to talk to for advice. It takes time to finally be in that place where you "get" it.

Answer 6

well more likely tey mean you are lucky that you have the will power to do it, alot of people cant. Sometimes its emotional issues that makes people eat. For me, I'm on that stress diet that makes me lose weight, though not intentionally I do get the similar comments. Just because you BMI is a healthy, people generally tend to find more attractive someone with some meat on their bones. I'm 5'2, but when I got down to 110, i looked gross, too skinny. I used to get teased and was told you could see my heart beat from my back..lol. On a small frame a little bit of weight can make a big difference. Just smile and encourage them to go the gym with you or something

Answer 7

I feel you. After I had my son, I packed on some pounds in places I never had fat. I was always thin. I worked dam* hard to get back down to my original size. Folks, (especially the bigger girls) ask me how I did it. I tell them eating sensibly and exercise, and I hated every second of it! Then I'll see them shoving a cookie or something in their mouth! Why ask if you ain't going to do it? Then you look at me and call me lucky for losing my pregnancy weight? I wasn't lucky. I worked hard for it. I guess we'll always have people out there like that that we'll have to deal with without getting rude and telling them to jog around the track instead of driving their car into the drive thru !

Answer 8

They are jealous...I hear the same thing...I am 5'7 and weigh about 125#......People constantanly tell me I'm to skinny...or ask if I'm anorexic......I.....like you had to work at it. When I hear it I just way...."it was a lot of work..but it was worth it" And your right...it's not lucky.....it's self control...if they'd try it..they might like it! Just blow it off.....count your blessing that you don't look like them! And, as far as the friend goes....if she's really a friend...maybe she NEEDS to hear from you that she's not doing herself any favors. I'd probably decline the next time I was invited out to dinner...maybe by saying...."thanks but no, I've had more than my share of calories today"......My daughters overweight boyfriend was at our house last night....she too is "trying to lose weight" but not really trying.....as they sat on the couch eating Movie Theater Butter popcorn drowned in the season salt he turned to me and ask "would you like some popcorn?" I simply stated..."no thanks...I don't eat anything after dinner"...at which point, my daughter put the bowl down and didn't eat anymore.....Best of luck to you...and Congratulations on your success! Just ignore them...Jealousy is a terrible thing!!

Answer 9

Worry about you first. If these persons you are speaking of mean anything to you, then break bad on them and tell them quit making up excuses for not loosing the weight. Tell them if they really wanted to loose it, they would and in your own words, (Put down the damn cookie and let's go for a walk). Good luck.

Answer 10

its hard to stop eating like that, you can see it but it can never change. my sister is my opposite i have around 7% body fat which is very low and mscular and thin, but she's over 150lbs over weight she has heart problems etc, it's not easy either.

Your friend needs to get a real weigh in and then see what she should be.